From the daily archives: "Thursday, July 4, 2019"
Ben and Rich at a Mets game right before the Caps/Rangers Game 7 in 2009.

Someone mentioned to me that they have not read one box score post this year, or was not aware these posts were still being produced in 2019, because they aren’t “posted to fb”.

**This is also of course, to the chagrin of John “Millennial under the Flesh” Walker.

Well if that’s the case then good, because then no one (other than Gil) will know these are a week late…enjoy your July 4th’s…we’ll have Week 10 up by week 11’s games.

On to the belated week 9 box scores…

Fresh Kills 2 @ Pounds 1

Fresh Kills – Tom R (1), Sheena W (2)

Goalie Win – Longwell via FA

Pounds – Alex Frey (4)

Goalie Loss – Sizzler (6-1, 1.86 GAA)

Game Notes: As the previews pointed out, Pounds could have used some more regular goobers of theirs for this game, with only 2 guy and 2 girl subs.

Girl Notes: Ryann wanted to note that when Pounds only had 1 guy sub and 2 girl subs, that they didn’t play with 3 girls on the court at any point in time, based on her purview p-her-view.

Guy Notes: ScottyKthe2nd was the second of two guy subs on the day for Pounds. Rumour has it he snuck on the court while Jess (and Yetter) were looking for a potential sub for Greenwald, in the event that the pink tender didn’t make his way back from a 10K earlier that day.

Gremlins 8 @ Sky Fighters 0

Gremlins – Inanimate Carbon Rod (1), Cody C (2), Tim Magic Man F x3 (6), Erich G x3 (6)

Goalie Shutout Win – Jamie B (4-2, 2 shutouts)

Goalie Loss – Peter “Parker” via FA

Game Notes: Mean reversion continues to be the story for the Sky Fighters as Gremlins make easy work of a… soon to be no longer divisional foe?

Advncd Anlytcs: Completing hat tricks with 6-0, 7-0, and 8-0 score lines is alpha.

What the Puck?! 3 @ Demons 2 F/SO

WTP – Henry B (5), Sam McI (5)

Goalie Win – Hoggystyle (1-0)

Demons – Zach F x2 (3)

Goalie Shootout Loss – Zak C

Game Notes: With a patch work lineup of subs, and 2 goals to tie the game in a 1:10 stretch in the last 2:30 of the game, WTP and Zac got the better of Demons and [the] Za/c/ch/ck’s on this day.

Rehabs 2 @ Filthier 1

Rehabs – Alex M (3), Mo R (3)

Goalie Win – Eric R (2-1)

Filthier – Ryan McL (2)

Goalie Loss – Tim K (5-2)

Poutine 2 @ Karma 0

Poutine – Brian S (2), Jonathan C (2)

Goalie Shutout Win – Longwell via FA

Goalie Loss – Max M via FA

Fuzz 2 @ Butchers 5

Fuzz – Sig (5), Gil (4)

Goalie Loss – Tim B (3-3)

Butchers – Super Fast Dave, Brendan C, Pete D’A, Jake T

Game Notes: Is this the last goal that Dave scores in a Butchers uniform? Moment of saddening front runner incoming….

Rainbows 1 @ Rut Rot 2

Dank Bows – Bryan L (3)

Goalie Loss – Greenwald (2-6)

Gut Rot – Akhil M x2 (3)

Goalie Win – Longwell via FA

Game Notes: Longwell does what he did to Hookers (while subbing for FK last year) and stymies his former fourth division team in a back and forth matchup.

Advncd Anlytcs: Who are we kidding, with back and forth matchup? The corsi ratio was like a 3:1 margin in the Rainbows’ favour. Longwell did to the Rainbows what he had done for them against teams in an era the franchise is currently trying to reclaim, and made great strides towards in fact. Will another season to rebuild in the Michaliga division prove fruitful if they can’t catch the Demons (or Mega Touch)?

Mega Touch 2 @ Riots 0

Mega – Jeff B (1), Alok (1)

Goalie Shutout Win – Mike T (3-3)

Goalie Loss – Peter Parker via FA

Hookers 4 @ Math 3

Hookers – Eleni T (3), Danilo (1), Pigozzi (2), CJ “not the running back” Anderson (4)

Goalie Win – Longwell via Cro bail out

Math – Zach N (2), Sarah Commisherr (1), Akhil via Rut Rot

Goalie Loss – David L (3-4)

Game Notes: Cro has a GAA of 10 after letting in 1 goal in 5 minutes of action during Week 9.

GANK 4 @ CK 3 F/OT

Anklebiters – “Bob” Probert (6), Sarah M (3), Jared (7), Shannon (2),

Goalie Win – Craig LaC

Cobra Kai – Alan (2), Eff Gil Ween (5), Paul B (1)

Goalie Loss – Max M via FA

Game Notes: As anticipated in a previous box score writing, CK went with a third string goalie for this game (and their fourth used this season…what next week their going to use someone else? Who runs this team? A flyers fan in search of their new Carter Hart? No, it’s probably some Devils fan who has realized they’ve wasted away the talents of their old Cory Schneider and now is running up the sunk goalie cost to Zimbabwean inflation levels)

Advncd Anlytcs: To everyone that was saying Pounds were the last/only undefeated team…. the Anklebiters ***currently*** (as of week 9, and 8GP) have a 7-0-1 record, with their only blemish coming in a shootout to Filthier earlier this year. Show your new *as of week 9* league leader in the standings some respect!

Read it in an Olivier accent.