From the daily archives: "Wednesday, June 12, 2019"

Week 8 brought us interdivisional play that featured multiple OT victories, shutouts, and blowouts (not including what they called game 6 of the Stanley cup finals)….on to the box scores.

GANK 5 @ Rainbows 2

GANK – Ben “not Bob” Probert (5), Jared P (6), Shannon S (1), Jeremy Shoey/Schuie/ShoeShoe (2), Jason Bourne (3)

Goalie Win – Craiggers (4-1, GAA 1.00)

Dank Bows – Bryan L (2), Tarnado (2)

Goalie Loss – Greenwald (2-5)

DenDems 2 @ Hookers 3 F/SO

Demons – Jake R (2), Brian M (1)

Goalie SOL – Zak C (1-0-1, GAA 1.90)

Hookers – CJ (3), Eleni T (2)

Goalie Win – Dustin O #notyourallstargoalie2019 (5-0, GAA 0.77)

Shootout Winner – Danilo (and Not the Running Back Anderson with the clincher)

Evil Dojo 0 @ Mega Clutch Touch 2

Goalie Loss – Ryan M (0-2, GAA 3.00)

Mega – Eric D (1), Devin via FA

Goalie Shutout Win – Jeff H (1-0, 1 Shutout, GAA 0.00)

Game Notes: In what will sure be a top nomination for moment of saddening for 2019, Jeff shuts out Cobra Kai in his BTSH send-off game.

Advncd Anlytcs: CK’s replacement goalie for Campbell has a GAA higher than the most goals CK let in last year, not including the finals (not because Sig was in the crease on the third Fuzz goal, this is just to illustrate the punch line), which was only a brace (2) on many weeks in 2018. Is it time to go back to the Brooklyn ice hockey drawing board? Instagram polls? The dog park? Do they have those in Brooklyn? It does seem like a cliquey activity…

Rut Rot 2 @ Math 4

Gut Rot – Mark C (1), Tommy C (1)

Goalie Loss – Sam (0-5)

Math – Jack McG (4), Jon M x2 (5), Jeff S (2)

Goalie Win – David L (3-3, GAA 2.62)

Game Notes: I’m waiting one more week before censoring that goalie record. Oof. #RoadToMinus70

Rehabs 4 @ Gremlins 1

Habs – Dave R x2 (2), Mo R (2), Bryan M (2)

Goalie Win – Eric R (1-1, GAA 2.50)

Gremlins – Carcella “I might have had one too many” Molson(s) (1)

Goalie Loss – Sam “first and last” Goalie Game (0-1)

Game Notes: Rehabs are now recruiting Br/i/y/ans ad nausea. Bryan M has been credited with the opening goal against Rainbows in Week 6.

Instant Karma 1 @ Filthier 5

IK – Derek Zed (6)

Goalie Loss – Steve F (but totally down to give it to Sizzler and ruin his goalie stats since he subbed in late in this game in relief)

Filthier – Sunny M (5), Thomas W (2), OP James x2 (5), Sean the Mule (1)

Goalie Win – Tim K (5-1, GAA 1.48)

Hope you are feeling better, Steve!

Fuzz 1 @ Poos 0 F/OT

Fuzz – Sig (4)

Goalie Shutout Win – Tim Bwn (3-2, GAA 1.37)

Goalie Loss – RJ F (2-2, GAA 1.95)

Game Notes: Nico did knock down Walsh. But I totally didn’t see it happen, while totally not reffing, and totally called it a penalty.

Advncd Anlytcs: Sig now has more goals than alleged knock downs. Goon!!!

DaPucks 3 @ Pounds 4

WTP – Paul P (2), Hanif P (1), Hoggystyle* (4)

Goalie Loss – Ed P (2-3-2, GAA 2.64)

Pounds – Jason B (3), B Wayne (3), Mike “obscure reference Allyn McCauley” McVillainy via WTP, Amitai via FA

Goalie Win – Sizzler (6-0, GAA 1.83)

Game Notes: *unassisted, kind of (McCauley will set me up in a future game I’m sure**)

Trade Block: **After only appearing for 1 game through Week 8, WTP are trying to ship off Capalbo to Poundtown, because ScottyKthe2nd likes saying [reverse] 69 more than the Hamilton/toe Provider. In return they’ll hopefully receive something more than TML box score references in Mike “spelt like Allyn” McCauley. Okay, this is now getting too long and I’m not putting together a yetter like presser article here.

Wait, that’s not how “reverse” works, is it???

Butchers 4 @ Riots 5 F/OT

Pig Knife O Fence – Jake T x2 (4), Cheeky (1), Super and Fast Dave (2)

Goalie OTLoss – Tim Brk (1-2, GAA 2.68)

Riots – Kevin Zed (1), Vanck (1), Margot (1), Dan G x2 (2)

Goalie Win – Dave GdR (2-3)

Game Notes: A lot of rioter red picked an ideal time to start scoring some goals – everyone who scored in this game had firsts on the season, with Dan’s second being the difference in OT. I totally told Jake they’d win a game this season. Oh no wait, that was me talking to Rob from Gut Rot….the box scores never lie.

FK 6 @ SKY 0

FK – Gabe x4 (5), Rachel (1), Sheena (1)

Goalie Shutout Win – Barch Pile (2-3, GAA 1.76)

Goalie Loss – Peter “White, Black and Red All Over” Parker via Spiderman Newspaper Photos

Game Notes: With Gabe only at 1 goal heading into Week 8 and some sky fighting horseshoe/poo luck from week 7’s game, mean reversion is a b*tch, Pete.

Gabe on your average sub goalie Sunday.