From the daily archives: "Friday, May 17, 2019"

Tompkins Square Riots at Fuzz

By Tracy Demon

Who is even on Fuzz this year? Do they have some new people? I confess to not having done my research. Coach and Paul are gone; I think Alexa dropped down to part time. That leaves Miles, Gil, Ryann, hopefully Sarah T., and that one quiet, unassuming guy who doesn’t wear sleeves. While last year’s league champions have only one win so far this season, they’re still a team to be reckoned with. Word on the street is it’s also that one guy’s birthday—I have no idea how I know this, as the celebration hasn’t been widely advertised and is rumored to be just a small, intimate affair—so wouldn’t it be nice to bring him the win? Not so fast, because here come the Riots and they have every reason to make this a grudge match: This is their chance to avenge the overly solipsistic, apparently error-ridden (I wouldn’t know because I’m new school) BTSH Hall of Fame profile that was written about Amy Jones, which led to one of the weirdest and wokest offseason conversations ever to take place on the BTSH Facebook page. Yep, I think the Riots will take this one.

Prediction: Dave GDR has a monster game in net; the Riots shock the world and beat Fuzz 2-1.

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