From the daily archives: "Thursday, May 16, 2019"

Dark Rainbows at Rehabs

Written by Maeby Fünke

The (real) League Sweethearts are fresh off a tight match-up against the Gremlins, which saw the Grems barely squeak by in a shootout. This is not the same Rainbows squad who went more than a season without a win, taking a fully stocked Gremlins team to a shootout shows that they are now a formidable opponent.

The ‘Bows have not seen a win since opening day, but what WAS seen on the sidelines recently was Yetter (for some strange reason) baby powdering his stick…..and accidentally spilling baby powder all over his teammate’s hoodie. This debacle earned him the nickname “Powder” (please let this stick…no pun intended). Originally I thought the baby powder was for all their new recruits, given their median age.

Jess and Tarnow have never played the Rehabs before, so they don’t realize how full their hands will be. Tia will forewarn them, but also it will become very clear within the first couple shifts.


Apparently Bernstein moved away. Fare thee well, my friend.

As for the Rehabs, they are……hmm, I am realizing I don’t know anything about the recent happenings of the Rehabs. Does anybody even care about the Rehabs anymore? Short answer: No. Long answer: Nooooooooooo.

Ok, ok, I know a bit about the Rehabs. Their girls are the best in the league. Their goalie is one of the best in the league (wait, is Ramirez still playing? I haven’t seen him). Hicks apparently had a hat trick this season (presumably due to a lack of backchecking). Hmm, what else……oh, Joey’s shop got its liquor license, check them out: https://www.joeybatscafe.com/.

The bottom line is that this team is an offensive juggernaut, give them any space at all and they’ll make you pay.

Prediction: If Cat is no longer hungover from celebrating her recent birthday then it’s possible that…..who am I kidding, this game is going to be a bigger shellacking than what has happened to the Carolina Hurricanes. (Hi Becca!)

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