From the daily archives: "Friday, May 3, 2019"

Instant Karma at Sky Fighters

By The Meatbox

Gather round BTSH loyal subjects for I am about to tell you a story. The story is about my dear friend Robert. Robert is very similar to a lot of you. He cares deeply about his community (he’s a crime stopper after all), he has a thing for moms, and he loves the game of hockey. The one thing Robert has that you don’t is a Ronkonkoma Condo. But if you pay close attention to this tale, you too may find a way to own one.

Now, Robert didn’t just wake up one day and say “today I will buy a condominium in the legendary neighborhood of Ronkonkoma”; nobody just wakes up and purchases one of those illustrious pieces of land. Years of blood, sweat, and tears went into this. Robert trained for hours to rise up the crime stopper ranks to make this happen. He became an expert at answering the phone on the first ring, he became a legend in his local cross fit gym- soccer moms were always on the brink of destruction, he perfected counting to fooooooouuurrr, and then he poached a shit ton of BTSH players, rebranded his team to make one of them happy and went on to win a BTSH title and later buy a condo. The end.

Now looking at this matchup Karma seems like a team that could be on the cusp of Robertdom. They’ve put in their blood, sweat, and tears. They’ve trained for moments like this, putting in hours on the blacktop and at the bar. They’re really, really, ridiculously good looking which generally means things come easier for them in life. They’re just a poach or two and a rebrand away from something special… dare I say, bangin’, no, dare I say uber bangin’.

On the other side of the court we see what happens when you don’t protect your assets. Assholes like Poutine befriend them, threaten to rip your throat out, and steal all your brand new players. Dear readers, let this be a lesson to all of us: the devil comes like a thief in the night. And the Devil’s name is Brian Sullivan. However, the Sky Fighters still have Stein, Mia, Caroline and Infanti, members of the legendary Sky Fighters team that upset Robert in his first bid at BTSH glory and Ronkonkoma home ownership. Can these four rally the troops to collect the Sky Fighters first winning streak of the young season?

Slightly offended by the looks mention.

Prediction: Friedman brings his A-game and the post shootout jump into Derek’s arms is completely unneeded as this game doesn’t go to a shootout. The Sky Fighters keep it interesting, but in the end Chadwick’s height, the Tremble sisters’ charisma and Isaac’s Hemsworth-esque looks are too much for them to overcome. Karma wins this one 4-1, pushing their win streak to 3 games and letting the league know that they’re not just here to be really, really ridiculously good looking. Buckle up.

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