From the daily archives: "Friday, April 12, 2019"

Corlears Hookers at Cobra Kai

By RG1 and Dana OG

Cobra Kai is back and they are chasing the perfect wave. I mean game. Or wait, do I mean wave? Will brought new players to the team – hereby known as Point Break 1 and Point Break 2 – and they mean business. Or at least their hair does. You can’t keep these guys from the net, they’ve got nothing to lose. Cobra’s biggest problem right now is that their Johnny Utah (wait, can we all just take a moment to think about the fact that a movie asked us to believe for 90 minutes that an undercover cop’s name was Johnny fucking Utah?) is undercover on the wrong team. You know him as James P and JAMES YOU ARE UNDERCOVER ON THE WRONG TEAM! Gary Busey (aka Will) just can’t control James – he’s a loose cannon and he’s going to get himself killed! Wait, no, he’s just going to score another goal. For a totally different team. But you can’t be mad, cause it’s JAMES and he’s so nice.

Olivier is walking around telling everyone that he looks EXACTLY like the star of the French Canadian version of Point Break but everyone keeps telling him that is not a thing.

Instead of bringing on new young surfer guys to improve their team, the Hookers have gone the opposite route and brought on some old bald guys. They’ve gone back to square one, bringing back the tried and true. I’m not sure if there is a good movie comparison here, maybe Grumpy Old Men? Golden Girls? Say what you will about these octogenarians, but when Jock or Sal wind up (only to the knee tho), it’ll send the most grizzled defenseman running for cover (sorry, Max – you had pads on). I’m not sure – maybe Dani is the real Johnny Utah here, she was last seen infiltrating Bullmoose’s playoff pool and drinking all of Dusty’s free tequila.

Prediction: Point Break by 1 – how can they lose?

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