From the monthly archives: "April 2019"

By Charlotte & Jess

One of the most fun Saturday’s of the year has come and gone and we have learned nothing in terms of appropriate number of beverages to drink in between charity hockey games. Please enjoy this highlight filled recap of the day.

BTSH vs People too old to still care about lacrosse

The day started off with some washed up lax bros trying to steal the rink. Gold star to the parks department, who issued a double permit to two different intramural leagues. Cries of “but i have permits” could be heard around the LES as a 70 year old lax goalie tried to muscle Rachel off of our rink. But if you’ve played against Rachel you know it’s pretty hard to muscle her off of anything and she held strong. Our lord and savior of the parks dept (BSA) redeemed Poutine in the eyes of many by making one swift phone call to the CEO or Emperor or whatever.

The basketball courts vs the Mofo Rink

A tough surface to play on with many a ball lost, all teams playing on the basketball courts made the best of the situation and still were able to play some pretty amazing hockey. Hats off to you guys.

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That fucking pigeon was everywhere!

MDF and the Butchers upset the heavily favored Rehabs and in the process vanquished Rich from another Survivor Pool!  

The Demons fell behind 3-1 in the second half to Instant Karma, but surged back to force OT, which eventually went to a shootout with Cory and Steven playing hero again for Karma. 

BSA bounced back up from a Charity faceplant to help his Pous to defeat resilient Mega Touch team. 

Mike D put on a memorable performance on Friday night and kept on rock’n against the Riots.  

Dark Rainbows feel behind early due to a goalie snafu, but Yetter lead his Bows back against the Gremlins, who won in a shootout. 

Must have been shootout day, because the Biters and Filthier had to decide their contest with a skills competition.  Two points to House Filthier.  

With Campbell back in next Cobra Kai got revenge against Fuzz in the rematch of last year’s championship game.  

LBS came from behind on the Hookers to celebrate Zisser and Hildawg’s birthday with Liz scoring the game tying goal a day after Rich savaged her in the preview.

Sky Fighters and Gut Rot was arguably the game of the day as their shootout went seven rounds (!) with SF prevailing. 

Fresh Kills finally got their first win of the season against Mathematics.  

Mega Touch at Poutine Machine

Written by Hockeyfan2379

Poutine have come strong out of the gate, going 3-0 in their first 3 contests. This is largely due to Charlotte’s stellar coaching on the sidelines, and maybe a little bit due to the fact that they poached half of the Sky Fighters’ players. Wait, Poutine are 2-1? Who beat them? I really thought they were 3-0. This whole preview is ruined now. Let’s talk about Game of Thrones instead. 

Ok, ok, back to hockey.

Mega started slow, but pulled off an upset of the Gremlins last week, handing the folks in yellow their first loss of the season AFTER THEY HAD JUST BEATEN FRESH KILLS. This contest showed Poutine that Mega cannot be taken lightly. As such, Poutine have big plans to get Julie and co. really drunk at the Rose Tourney afterparty the night before (Register here: https://rosecharities.us/). Wait, do Poutine come to Rose? I feel like I’ve never seen them there. They go to their own bar every week away from the rest of the league, do they stage their own separate tournament every year during Rose? 

Mega, on the other hand, will be at Rose in full force, numbing their aching bodies at the afterparty with free shots of Jameson until the wee hours of the morning. Which, given their age bracket, is 9pm. (I know, I know, they’ve got some new young players. But do they even count??)

Something something, Jerome, something something. Ok, is this preview done yet?

It is. 

Prediction: It stays tighter than you might think, but the end result is what you expected. Poutine wins this one, 4-2, much to the dismay of the entire league. 
On the bright side, Christina Lee scores her first goal of the season.

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Butchers at Rehabs

By Richiehero

God hates you RG1. After (assumingly) doing an amazing job with the Rose Charity Tournament on Saturday, RG1, Brady and the rest of their cohorts will not only have to face the Rehabs,but also face them the first game of the day.

Rachel is going to be supremely tired because she always puts herself on the best team, so she’s going to play a lot of games. I’m starting to think Diane J., and Becky Norris don’t have as much power as Rachel does during the Rose.

There’s still time to register!

Meanwhile, Hicks is going to be furious about losing yet another final for Team Michigan at the Rose. Luckily for the Rehabs this isn’t a championship game so Hicks will actually win this one. No thanks to him of course, he’ll be hungover and puke on Gordie. But Cherie will get a hat trick and the Rehabs will take this one, 4-2.

Prediction: see above.

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By Steven F

Excited to bring you the first edition of Behind the Mask. Behind the Mask seeks to introduce the league to the wacky folks who suit up in pounds of gear and eagerly step in front of blistering wrist shots, the goalies of BTSH.

It is 7pm on an April Thursday and Dave G is traveling on an old school R subway car uptown from the World Trade Center to Canal Street. Dave is the goalie of the surging Dark Rainbows and referee for the league. However, today he is on his way to Chinatown for some dumplings and noodles.

On the subway he reminisces about how he started his career in sports broadcasting, calling play by play for minor league and college baseball teams. After ascending from the subway and narrowly avoiding a few cars crossing Canal Street and Mott Street, he mentions his brief stint as a traffic reporter before transitioning to a career in sales.

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