We finally played the Week 5 makeup games. There were a few nail biters decided late in the second half on Sunday and the final division races were won and ….given up on?

On to the box scores…

DaPucks 2 @ Gremlins 0

WTP?! – Justin M (3), McCauley (4)

Goalie Shutout Win – Goalie Ed (10-5, 2 Shutouts, 1.76 GAA)

Goalie Loss – Jamie B (7-8, 4 Shutouts, 2.03 GAA)

Game Notes: With just over 13 minutes left in the game, Justin earned himself another division to be named after him, securing the Pucks a third division title with a screened shot fivehole. In the most East court of fashion, it might have bounced twice before reaching the net before rattling the back of the twine. McCauley sealed the win moments later by going bottle down (wait, that’s a thing now?).

Advanced Analytics: Justin’s goal looked just like this one…I can’t find the clip but I can picture the iconic photo from the Ottawa Citizen’s photo capturing this game’s game winner, with the best (90’s!!) Ottawa Senators logo perfectly upright as the puck knuckled towards Brodeur’s one legged five hole (how did Brodeur win so many games in the show with that trash street hockey style?).

I couldn’t find a picture of Justin so I just put one of Corey instead.
But is Winters coming? No he is not. We don’t need you anymore, man.

Fuzz 2 @ Fresh Kills 1

Fuzz – Miles (7), Jeff (8)

Goalie Win – Tim Bwn (9-6, 3 Shutouts, 2.24 GAA)

FK – Meg F (3)

Goalie Loss – Patty B (4-5, 1 Shutout, 1.87 GAA)

Game Notes: Fuzz decides they enjoyed this season and beat Fresh Kills to ensure another season of mediocrity in the top flight of black top street hockey in 2020 when they will poach Jess, Yetter, Hogg, McCauley (Rich only likes guys in their 20’s), Hicksy (again), Annie, and Neil. And for good measure, Mat S and Wes (the one from party school Laurier) for some Sky Fighters.

Congrats on sticking in the first division this time, Fuzz!!!! Don’t poach me. Also, note that Ash is from the 90’s!!!! (Who else was upset that DJ Stoop Dogg posted no Pokeraps for the 90s theme?)

Instant Karma 2 @ Sky Fighters 1 F/OT

Karma – Florian via FA, Creed (1)

Goalie OT Win – Steve F (6-5, 1 Shutout, 2.54 GAA)

Sky Fighters – Dana L (5)

Goalie OT Loss – Casca via another goalie sub (OT) loss

When Creed-n and Steve are asked about the double digit point mark on the season. (just kidding, congrats on getting 10 wins this year, friends)

Math 2 @ Filthier 4

Math – Jack McG (10), Jon M (7)

Goalie Loss – Jamie B via Gremlins

Filthier – Thomas W (6), OP James x2 (12), Ryan McL (4)

Goalie Win – Tim K (12-3, 4 Shutouts, 1.25 GAA)

Game Notes: In the losing effort, Mr Meyer padded his stats with a nice individual effort, beating Tim K on a backhand to forehand breakaway move. He so eloquently avoided the crease and the goalie, unlike his BTSH doppleganger Paul [from WT]P(ucks).

Gut Rot 3 @ Mega Touch 2

Rut Rot – Akhil x2 (6), Heather A (2)

Goalie OT Win – Sam S (1-7)

Mega – Alex EM (1), Alok (3)

Goalie OT Loss – Mike T (6-5, 2 Shutouts, 2.04 GAA)

Game Notes: One autistic man said to another on the sideline during OT, “that unknown shortis ringer inspector jones is going to go end to end here and finish off OT.” Said unknown ringer then picked up the ball in his own corner, waltzed right in front of his own net, gave the ball away, and gave up the game winning goal. End to (own) end! Sickos rejoice.

Butchers 0 @ Campbell Kai 2

Goalie Loss – Tim Brk (3-8, 1 Shutout, 2.50 GAA)

CK – Olive (3), Luke W (2)

Goalie Shutout Win – Campbell via Black Squirrels North

Game Notes: Every time Campbell shows up, the dojo decide to be evil to him and only give up 5 shots a game, if only they had him for the games they give up more than 10! He might break a sweat for something other than sitting in traffic on the drive down from Boston.

I guess seeing this after the 5 hour drive makes it worth it…

Biters 1 @ Hookers 2

Biters – Derho (4)

Goalie Loss – Public Enemy Number 1 via DaPucks

Hookers – Phil O’d (1), Joe M (2)

Goalie Win – Dustin O

Game Notes: This win put Hookers 4 points behind Anklebiters with 1 game in hand going into the final weekend. A ‘biter loss and two Hookers wins would have meant a Hookers division 2 victory by virtue of this result (and a previous Hookers comeback win earlier this season). But Cro opted to go with the Art of the Deal and fold on the divisional race in order to rest his troops for the playoffs and try to move up to division 1 that way (by winning the PBR cup). Plus the biters are obviously going to beat pounds for the 1 seed in week 18.

Riots 1 @ Demons 5

Riots – Dana L via Sky Fighters

Goalie Loss – Dave GdR (3-11, 3.76 GAA)

Demons – Florian via the team that actually wants to roster him, Neil Zedman x4 (18)

Goalie Win – Casca (4-2, 1 Shutout, 1.45 GAA)

Game Notes: Much like Teets McGee’s scoring championship in 2017, where he sat on a small lead in the waning weeks of the season, and then popped in 5 on Popack and the Demons to seal it in the final weeks of the season, Neil breaks his 2 goal in 2 month slump with another 4 spot. Can I get a trash star, Rich? Trash HM? Also Brad gave up one of his goals from August to ensure Derek and Hogg do[es]n’t run up the score in their Week 12 makeup game and pass Neil in the final week of the season. What a team player!

Dark Rainbows 2 @ Poutine Machine 6

Rainbows – Rem (1), Christina S (1)

Goalie Loss – Max via 2020 poaching season

Poutine – Russo (2), Christian H x2 (6), Mike Marr (6), Mike Pags x2 (8)

Goalie Win – RJ F (7-5, 4 Shutouts, 1.31 GAA)

Game Notes: If Pags was still at 6 goals, that stat line would have been the most Poutine thing ever.

Rehabs 2 @ Pounds 1

Rehabs – Cherie (8), Hicks (10)

Goalie Win – Matt T via FA

Pounds – Roberts (11)

Goalie Loss – Sizzler (11-2, 1 Shutout, 1.54 GAA)

Game Notes: A sign of what’s to come? Pounds play Anklebiters next week in a battle for the first seed in the league. With the biters one point back, the winner automatically takes the top of the table by virtue of this head to head matchup, their only of the season.

How Hicks actually looks when he puts his foot down. Game winning goal derp derp.
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