By Charlotte & Jess

One of the most fun Saturday’s of the year has come and gone and we have learned nothing in terms of appropriate number of beverages to drink in between charity hockey games. Please enjoy this highlight filled recap of the day.

BTSH vs People too old to still care about lacrosse

The day started off with some washed up lax bros trying to steal the rink. Gold star to the parks department, who issued a double permit to two different intramural leagues. Cries of “but i have permits” could be heard around the LES as a 70 year old lax goalie tried to muscle Rachel off of our rink. But if you’ve played against Rachel you know it’s pretty hard to muscle her off of anything and she held strong. Our lord and savior of the parks dept (BSA) redeemed Poutine in the eyes of many by making one swift phone call to the CEO or Emperor or whatever.

The basketball courts vs the Mofo Rink

A tough surface to play on with many a ball lost, all teams playing on the basketball courts made the best of the situation and still were able to play some pretty amazing hockey. Hats off to you guys.

Zach Norris vs Men’s Fashion Week

Zach proved to the world that you don’t need to wear shorts to be good at hockey and having a matching plaid cap definitely added a little something extra to his game. Take notes, boys.

Team Tito’s vs the Round Robin

We had 3 teams go 3-0 and shockingly the team that stacked their bench and probably met up the night before to draw up plays did NOT make it to the finals due to goal differentiation. (Side note: Team 4 definitely contributed to Team Tito’s not making it to the finals, as they got lit the fuck up by team 3 in their last game of the day, giving their opponents the goal differentiation edge). The complaints (and 1 temper tantrum from a “baby”, potentially un-redeeming Poutine for the day) heard round the world were soon quelled by more Tito’s and some bodega beers. Better luck next year boys.

Probie vs Open Nets

His team up by 1 in the finals and needing to add some security, Probie obviously broke through 3 people for a 1 v 1 with…an open net. Not so obviously, he missed it. But for what it’s worth he five holed Walker for a sweet earlier goal.

Recycling vs the Environment

Big ups to Meredith and Diane (among others) for making sure all of our trash went into the proper receptacles and we kept the courts ~sparkling~ clean. Well, as clean as the LES gets anyways.

Fish Market vs BTSH

It was pretty enjoyable to see the looks of horror on the faces of Saturday afternoon fish market patrons when a seemingly unending stream of ball hockey players barged through the door. Props to Lee for securing some buckets of “charity” beers and thanks to everyone who donated to the auction. I heard Bryan of the Rainbows won a sweet hot pink purse.

Akhil vs His family aka #MehtaNation

In perhaps the most interesting combination of adorable and lethal, Akhil, his brother, and his dad were an unstoppable offensive force. No duh that this was the team that won it all. But even more deadly than his dad’s ability to score was his dad’s ability to lay down sick burns on his own sun. WARNING: the following scene is graphic.

Akhil’s dad: Ask him how many goals he scored last game

*jess asks*

Akhil: zero…

Akhil’s dad: Ask me how many goals I scored. *smiles smugly*

Hot takes from the Heckle Wall:

“Icing is back in a big way. Sweet baby James has deployed operation freeze. Oh sorry, I don’t mean icing as in hockey icing. I mean as in drinking”

“Constructive heckling was big today”

“I’m proud of the salt boys and #MehtaNation”

“My favorite part of the day was Walker’s five hole” – multiple anonymous sources

And Now For An Exclusive Interview with the Rose Charity Queen Herself

*When did you first get involved with Rose Charities and what is it about this charity that you love?

I first got involved with the charity about 10 years ago, I think. Jason Rosentstock of the Butchers (but at that time, Mexican Standoff) pulled me in. He got involved when he met a model on a photoshoot whose mother and uncle started the organization in Canada. No more models now, but we have model citizens like Zac Hogg. It’s an amazing global organization! None of us get paid, we have very very minimal overhead (web hosting and accounting fees only), which means your money goes exactly where it should. I also really identify with the mission of Rose, and how they choose projects to fund, it’s more of the “teach a man to fish” mentality. A lot of western aid organizations will spend a lot of money sending American doctors and aid that they THINK is needed. Rose supports people within the community and listens to what the community needs.

Our Eye Clinic in Cambodia does numerous cataract surgeries a day, and that clinic is run by Cambodians and Cambodian doctors. So this clinic not only prevents blindness, allowing people to work and keep their families out of poverty, but also supports the local community and provides jobs. We also support disaster relief where we have systems in place to do so, and again, it’s more of the ‘listening to the community’ idea, as opposed to just sending tons of aid that the community doesn’t need. We also focus our funds on the second phase of disaster relief, rehabilitating the community. In Sri Lanka, we stayed for a decade after the tsunami, rebuilding schools etc.

*How much money was raised this year? How does it compare to other years?

We raised almost $8k, it was a great year for us!! We do better every year. Big shout out to Tito’s (courtesy of the Rainbows) for sponsoring us this year!!! Also, Tito’s, thank you for my hangover.

*How many people attended?

We had about 120 people play this year, and more just show up to cheer us on and drink the beers! We had some very exciting old school BTSHers show up to support, which reminds me of this amazing and special community of hockey that we have. [Special shout out to Sean Reynolds (Rainbows), Monica Russo (Filthy), Kami Moore (Filthy/Butchers), Randy Locklair (Standoff/Butchers)]

Make-new-friends-initiative: In addition to sweet notes from many people who said they had a great time, I received a bunch of Facebook, Instagram and linkedin invite in the last 24 hours. See, even this old dog can make new friends 🙂

*MVP(s) of the day?

SO many!  Too many to mention, but I will try! The board members, Hogg, MDF, Rosie, Walsh, Brady, Rebecca Norris, Arnold. Obviously Tito. Rob Meehan for donating the MVP award. Lee Becker for the X-Box. Brady for the drawing. Tia for getting breakfast delivered to the organizers even though she didn’t attend. All those who reffed. Sully for the parks department. AND MVP thanks to Sandy Norris. She really is the mom to us all.

But really it’s everyone who showed up and played, supported a great cause and were kind and patient while dealt with lax bro drama.

I feel like I’m giving an Oscar acceptance speech.

*Do you have any big plans for future tournaments? Anything you hope to change?

We have big plans to not share the court with Lax Bros. As I mentioned earlier, we are all volunteer with full time jobs, so we get pretty busy. But we are always looking for more help and new ideas. If you are interested in getting involved or donating money, please contact me @ reg92181@gmail.com! Our website is a little janky at the moment (somehow the whole thing got wiped 1 month before the tournament), but we’ll get there soon!

*In one word, could you describe what the Rose Charities tournament means to you?

everything.

*Seems like charity, hockey, and belly full of fish market lead to some post tournament love. Would you like to comment on the over under for how many people scored during the day and at night?

I’m not sure what the line is set at, but I think I would probably take the under. If anyone was like me and my boyfriend, that belly full of fish meant stumbling home with a grilled cheese and many affectionate words, but very little scoring. God bless that man for feeding me actual food.