By Cat and Jess
Just when you thought you’d gotten rid of us- the media’s best duo (no offense Walker and Rich)- we’re back at it again with scintillating superlatives of 2019. (here’s 2018 if you care).
The Adam Ruebens most likely to cancel their game due to rain award: NOT Fuzz. Just ask the Rehabs. Too soon?
HM: Mega Touch
The John Walker most likely to over explain something that was already clearly explained award. Ha: In a bizarre twist of fate I think we’re gonna have to give this one to Rich this year
Most likely to be a cleanup hero: The better half of the commissioners aka Sarah who has helped clean up on numerous occasions in the pouring rain and Greenwald who’s placed many a lost and found item.
Most likely to literally break the law (public beer bonging) whilst drinking claws: Tadpole & SBJ
HM: Hilary- we see you with those Walgreens super sized packs of white claws
Most likely to want to do an absurd amount of pushups: Emily B
HM: LJ- have you seen her crossfit video?!
Most likely to empty a train car for having the smelliest goalie gear: Ed? I think def Ed. His gear smells so bad. No offense.
Most likely to have a pinata filled with alcohol after their game: Instant Karma and Sky Fighters – those guys had like 3 pinatas this year
League Sweethearts: WTP- you heard it here first folks you can win AND not be a dick! Props to Hogg and co for creating a fun environment with a v nice team (except for Henry).
Most likely to show up still drunk from the night before: Sully
Most likely to get married: D-ro & Sammi
Most likely to be booed by their own team: Yetter. Ugh that guy sucks. He didn’t even lead his team in goals this year, the guy with the better hair and casual backhand shot did.
Most likely to take one to the face: Probie– are we talking about balls or balls? you’ll never know 😉
Most likely to, after years of offering to goalie 4 u, turn down Gut Rot: Eitan
The Tony Hawk most likely to ‘do a kickflip’ award: Roberts
Most likely to create a farm league for their team: Frey
Most likely to be mistaken for Quentin Tarantino: Karl, but perhaps only in Ocean City, cinephile capital of the world
Art Shamsky award for being a comeback kid: The Demons- who quickly rebounded back to 3rd division after just 1 season in the 4th
Most likely to completely dunk on a former NHL player: Liz – did you see her tackle that guy in the Fuzz game? #fuckthepatriarchy!!!! @ Rich
Most likely to cry over spilt beer: (in alphabetical order so nobody gets further offended) Hicks, Probie, Russ
Most likely to crush a guest-written media article: Morgen
Most likely to have fire under the radar facebook comments: Tim K
Most likely to drum up one of the most controversial hat tricks in hockey history: Erich G aka “Jess’ best friend”
Most likely to keep the public INFORMED on shootouts via his ICONIC instagram stories: Jerome hornswoggle
Most likely to have the most torn ACL’s in the same family: Tarzan, Meredith (& his dog)
Most likely to refer to Montauk beer as ‘swill’ while downing a case like the true martyr he is: Lee
Most likely to divide a nation on whether or not their defeat technically qualifies as an upset: Fresh Kills
That’s all folks! After a ridiculous year with a new batch of inside jokes we’ll catch you next spring.