From the daily archives: "Thursday, July 12, 2018"

PLEASE NOTE: due to the World Cup Final all game times have changed.  If this is how you are finding out then perhaps you should elect a new captain.  

Butchers at Gut Rot, 1:30 pm
by Cheekbones

This preview will be written with a Celebrity Jeopardy theme because…because I’m a grown ass woman and I do what I want. Unless my baby cries or my mom calls. Then I do what they want. Here we go:

Give Me Ape Tit for $200

We embark upon the Battle of the Butts when Tarzan plays Morgen. Safety regulations need to be reinforced — if they both use these rear mechanisms to their full potential, one or both could end up out of the courts and crashing through the front window of TS Bagels. However, I respect this ass-tastic relationship which is able to thrive when both clearly have asses that require serious attention. It demonstrates a lot of maturity that they can balance their needs (and just balance in general) on an ongoing basis. My own relationship with a Butcher works well because he has a flat surface with a crack in it, and I can fully own being the ass in the household. We can all learn something from the give and take that is Morgen-Tarzan.

Anywho, enough ass play. Lets move on.

I’ll Take the Penis Mightier

Jk jk jk jk, the lady bits steal the show here. You know Becca is throw her ferocious side part into a even more menacing side pony before putting her sneaky ball handling skills to work against the Crimson Tide, and the GR Ginger squad of Liza and Morgen has some good-old-fashioned-trash-talking-fun-vibes going on. Over to the bloodies: Georgine can find you a great apartment and then serve you some cold back-door rebounds in it. Rachel and MDF are still so busy being sofuckingnice to you off the court and then stuffing turnovers down your throat come gametime. Cheeky will toe drag you into the middle of next week.

That’s the sound your mother made last night…

Dana is back at it 6 weeks after making person and let me tell you — breastfeeding makes you thirsty. Thirsty for goals and glory. Keep your heads up, green.

Potent Potables

A major factor for Gut Rot is what time they play, and how much sauce has gone down the hatch. If Heather is rolling in hot from a beach day, things can get gigglier and less aggro on the black top. I sort of root for that, but at 1pm they are gonna be shaking off Saturday night, and not yet licking Sunday’s butthole – a dangerous time.

I’ll take Catch the Semen for $7,000

The dad-forces are gonna be high with Dave W of Gut Rot against Creamy and Mike of the Butchers. Side effects include biting the bottom lip while deke-ing or dancing, and abject disappointment when someone walks on the lawn or leaves the gate open.

Turd Ferguson predicts…

I’m gonna say the Butchers season stays strong and they edge out Gut Rot, however “any given Sunday” seriously applies here — should be a good show kids. [Continue Reading…]