From the daily archives: "Wednesday, July 11, 2018"

No rain and no heat fears! We’re back for Week 12 Week 11 (I’m going off what we have on the website’s schedule page, so bear with me on the chronology of the weeks)! Lots of competitive action as we have way (way, way) too many LOL shootout references and some other close contests.

After getting a paper cut opening the three stars post due to all the edge on it, we’ve removed the salt from these this week to not offend anyone (other than myself, as that’s always required). On to the box scores!

 

Fresh Kills 2 @ Filthier 3 (OT/LOL Shootouts)

Fresh Kills – Frank (1), Tom (4)

Goalie Shootout LOLoss – Patty B (4-2-1, GAA of 2.57ish)

Filthier – OP James (8), Sunny (10)

Goalie Win – Tim K (8-3, GAA of 1.91ish)

Shootout Winner – OP James

Game Notes: OP James put the ball over the Barch pile, rather than running through it this time to earn the extra point in the shootout, just like last season.

Quick Shifts: Video shootout footage was captured but not required to determine that the above shootout winner was scored in a legal fashion. (thank you tho, Jerome/JVR/Hornswoggle/Hornystyle for taking video, which you can find on our BTSH facebook page in very high quality! unlike another SO..)

 

Demons 0 @ Gremlins 3

Goalie Loss – Zach “Demons Regular Goalie” L (1-7-1)

Gremlins – Rod “I’m sponsored by” Sherwood (1), Courtney via FA, Yetter via FA

Goalie Shutout Win –   Jamie B (8-2-1, GAA of 1.82, 3 Shutouts)

Game Notes: After starting 2-2-1 through five weeks, Jamie B and the Gremlins have won 6 straight and not even taking a LOL in the shootouts can stop them from climbing back into the Katz Divisional race. Maybe they upgraded their lime toss to a game of pickle ball across the street at TSP (yes, it’s a thing and it’s pretty cool) to add that needed oomph in their game.

Quick Shifts: Your team can pick up Yetter as an FA wherever crop tops are sold.

 

Cobra Kai 2 @ Poutine 0

CK – Will (6), Liam (7)

Goalie Shutout Win – Campbell (8-0-2, GAA of 1.10, 3 shutouts)

Goalie Loss – RJ “you better not add that EN goal to my GAA (we did)” F (3-2, GAA of 1.20)

Game Notes: A report coming from our CK beat writer noted that CK finally got some referees they like* but as we all know, the refereeing appears to be better when you don’t take a “L”oL in the shootouts.

Quick Long Shifts Run on Sentence: This game played fast with a lot of back and forth transition catered by the help of strong team defense as limited scoring chances were traded between each side but-for a couple of breakaways for each team leading to the low scoring Katz division title fight, which we certainly don’t mind as it’s certainly easier to not mess up the Poutine goal scorers when they get blanked.

*can deal with once on a weekly basis without emailing Sam Norris

It was a battle of possession in Cat’s fave BTSH rivalry on Sunday. No wonder CK came out on top (look at those guns on that possession player). Now that is double click worthy.

 

Fuzz 4 @ POUNDS 3 (OT/LOL Shootouts)

Fuzz! – Miles (11), Jeff x2 (10)

Goalie Win – Coach (8-1, GAA of 2.56)

Shootout Winner – Alexa (with help from Mike Teyt to ice it)

Pounds – Jason (2), aFrey (1), Avery (3)

Goalie Shootout Loss – Fizzler (7-2-1, GAA of 1.70)

Game Notes:  All 3 Fuzz! shooters scored in the shootout (Gil got the first one to match Avery’s first round marker). For more on the game, check out our Third Star of Week 12*.

*11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

 

Dark Rainbows 3 @ DaPucks 6

Rainbows – Yetter via FA x2, Ryan M (1)

Goalie Loss – Eitan via #RosterHim

Pucks – Ball Hogg (3), John C “Number 69” (2), Zach “Mike Gartner” G x3 (5), Mike Dude (1)

Goalie Win – Scott H (3-6)

Game Notes: After back to back multi goal games for DaPucks, this is becoming Buffalo Zach’s team now. Step aside Ball Hogg, you’re the “other” Zac now (or “stop passing and shoot more” – Eric, probably).

Quick Shifts: I always thought blowing 2-0 leads was more of a CaNucks type of thing, but this game marked the second time this season WTP came back from an early 2-nothing deficit against a divisional opponent. Justin might ask the ladies to (not) sleep on us, but maybe the Pucks should remember to not sleep on their Michaliga-name-sake divisional race foes.

 

LAX Hookers 2 @ Math 3 (OT/LOL Shootouts)

Hookers – CJ “not the running back” Anderson (5), Noelle (3)

Goalie Shootout Loss – Dustin “Tokarski” O (2-3-2, GAA of 2.29)

Math – Liz H (1), Bradley S (1)

Goalie Win – David L (2-5)

Shootout Winner – Justin “I’m a Caps fan too” P

Game Notes: Hookers finally found a game they thought was winnable and literally showed up. Figuratively, they did not.

Quick Shifts: Dustin continues to show that he’s not a shadow of his former Hookers championship self (except in the case of pad sizing), sporting a competitive GAA for a team that has lost more than it has won.

Trending: Math keep doing the most Math thing ever of standing pat, right in the middle of Division 2. Don’t expect them to be in a position to move up or down a division at the end of this year.

 

Riots 0 @ Gut Rot 4

Goalie Loss – Dave GdR (2-7-1)

Gut Rot – Scott_K (7), Ramon x2 (6), Akhil Nation (5)

Goalie Shutout Win – Ed P (3-4, GAA of nicer but still needs more mean reversion before we post it)

Quick Shifts: Since going 0-4 to start the season, Ed has had back to back shutouts, and only let in 1 goal in his last 3 starts (all of which are wins). Will his play start a Gut Rot run for the Division 4 crown? Unlikely, they don’t have any freebie out of division games like Fuzz Elves this year.

 

Mega Touch 3 @ Instant Karma 4

Mega – Joe L (3), Jeff B x2 (7)

Goalie Shootout LOLoss – Mike T (2-6-1)

Karma – Cory V (4), Paul O via FA, Briana V (4)

Goalie Win – Steve F (3-5)

Shootout Winner – Cory V!

Game Notes: Paul Olsen is his name and subbing is his game – Chadwick

Quick Shifts: After 5 weeks of ball hockey with only 2 goals to their name, Karma strike thrice and once more in the shootout to finally achieve double digits in points.

You did it! You beat pre season expectations and all you needed was a shootout against a 4th division team to do it!!

 

Sky Fighters 2 @ Anklebiters 3

SKY – Sean N (3), Katie S (3)

Goalie Loss – OG James (2-7-1)

GANK – Probert (14), Sarah M (3), Joe P (5)

Goalie Win – Tim Bwn (2-1, GAA of 2.00)

Game Notes: Tim returned to action for the first time since Week 4 and provided the GANKshow just what they needed, edging SKY in another close loss for them on what has been a long 11 * weeks.

Quick Shifts: SKY find themselves in a similar spot as they did this time last year. Does their “new look” crew make the same run late in the season and make some noise heading into the playoffs? Tune in to next week’s episode of 23 and Mia to find out.

 

Rehabs 0 @ Butchers 2

Goalie Loss – Will Ho “Sang” Sung via Mid-season retirement replacement waiver wire

Butchers – Super Dave (2), John N (1)

Goalie Shutout Win – Tim Brk (3-5, 1st Shutout)

Game Notes in one Run on Sentence: Unfortunately Hicks spent too much time thinking up chirps regarding A6 series TRUE pavel barber tutorial videos for lefties and forgot to watch them himself, not being able to pot a difference maker against Super Dave and his surely now flying Butchers squad, who have now won 4 of their last 5 dry (non rain-feared) contests.

 

Week 11 in Very Real Tweets 

Apparently people feel the need to call these fake and don’t want to #DoubleClick??? How absurd!

 

 

by Cat

Monday I made the Walk of Shame back to Royale to retrieve my credit card from behind the bar, earning myself the first of many Not Stars this week. You know I put extra time into my outfit so that Ella would realize I’m a Responsible Grown Up with a Real Job (also see: my approved membership into the NYC Ball Hockey LinkedIn Group) and not a Degenerate Overly Invested in a Recreational Sports League. She wasn’t there. Nobody at Royale complimented my work onesie.

As much as I delight in using 3 Stars as my personal livejournal, enough about me:

Third Star
Alexa from Fuzz

There’s no video shootage, and I am running on deadline so I’m not going to ask anyone what happened, but here’s what I am pretty sure happened, based largely on a very blackmail-y email from Glanzer and a basic understanding of how hockey works:

  • LBS scored some goals.
  • Fuzz scored some goals.
  • In fact, now that I think of it, they scored the same number of goals.
  • The game went to a shootout.
  • Meanwhile, Rich/JW/Jenn P were engaged in a Marx Brothers-esque juggle for a camcorder, which apparently still exist, even though everyone has smart phones these days.
  • Alexa scored a goal.
  • Thusly, Fuzz won.

This goes without saying, but Not Stars to Rich, Walker, and Jenn. Get your acts together.

She also fills in as a ref from time to time.

I’d also like to say to Alexa, a multi-talented person who can goaltend and score goals, a true renaissance woman, and it has nothing to do with what Rich has against me: Damn gurl! [Continue Reading…]