From the daily archives: "Friday, July 6, 2018"

Corlears Hookers at Mathematcis
by Hicks

Generally at this point in the year, you can begin to evaluate teams and figure out who the contenders/pretenders are in the race for the PBR Cup. However, the Hookers are not one of those teams. Not only have they played only 8 games (seriously, only my dog is more frightened of water than them), they seemingly throw out a new roster each week. I guess they finally realized that Hogg meant it when he said “Cro, stop calling me, I’m not joining the Hookers” and have begun to host weekly tryouts. The only aspects of the Hookers roster that are consistent week over week are an eLEEt locker room glue guy, Cro acting as league weather boy/boy who cried weather fears, and Danilo and their women putting the team on their backs.

Help us, Emeritus. You are our only hope.

Meanwhile in the land of PEDMAS, it appears the dreaded Math summer vacation is upon us. I’ve been informed that there will be no Norri in attendance this week. You know what they say about that: no norri, no bueno. Math fans are dying to know will John be there? What about Langer or Amy? Before you write everyone’s favorite subject off though, keep in mind that this is a team that has made a name for itself over the past few seasons by winning games they weren’t supposed to win (anyone remember the playoffs against Cobra Kai last year?). I even remember a Fuzz vs. Math game from 2016 where the Mathletes were without Sam and they still beat everyones favorite poachers team. They’ll most likely need Perras to score another (sort of) hat trick in this game, but if that happens, I’ll give this team a puncher’s chance (especially if Eli goes full goon and punches someone. He’s emeritus, he can do that).

Prediction: Cro spends all of the first half cherry picking, not for goals, but because it’s the side with shade. Second half comes around and he switches to defense because weather is scary. Meanwhile despite effectively playing 4 on 5 for portions of the game, the Hookers onslaught is too much for a shorthanded Mathnasty leading to an outcome similar to the first time these two teams met. 6-2 Hookers. [Continue Reading…]