From the monthly archives: "June 2018"

America’s Game of the Week: Rehabs @ Fuzz
Sunday July 1, 2018 3:30 PM
Thompkins Square Park West Court, New York, NY

Originally published in the Rogue Media, January 12, 2018

This has been by far the most challenging few weeks in my professional life. I understood cognitively that I was facing a crossroads in my evolution as a player and as a man, and that it came with exceptionally difficult choices. What I didn’t truly understand, however, was the range of emotions I would feel during this process.

The primary mandate I had for myself in making this decision was to have it based on the potential for my growth as a player — as that has always steered me in the right direction. But I am also at a point in my life where it is of equal importance to find an opportunity that encourages my evolution as a man: moving out of my comfort zone to a new city and community which offers the greatest potential for my contribution and personal growth. With this in mind, I have decided that I am going to join the Golden State Warriors Rehabs.

I’m from Washington, D.C. Detroit originally, but Oklahoma City Fuzz Nation truly raised me. It taught me so much about family as well as what it means to be a man. There are no words to express what the organization and the community mean to me, and what they will represent in my life and in my heart forever. The memories and friendships are something that go far beyond the game. Those invaluable relationships are what made this deliberation so challenging.

It really pains me to know that I will disappoint so many people Rich Glnzr with this choice, but I believe I am doing what I feel is the right thing at this point in my life and my playing career.

I will miss Oklahoma City Fuzz Nation, and the role I have had in building this remarkable team. I will forever cherish the relationships within the organization — the friends and teammates that I went to war with on the court messed up blacktop surface for nine two years, and all the fans and people of the community. They have always had my back unconditionally, and I cannot be more grateful for what they have meant to my family and to me.

June 26, 2018 Edit:

I’ve never picked against the team I’m on, won’t start now. Rehabs 4, Fuzz 2. Glanczar gets one of his own participation trophies. [Continue Reading…]

Dark Rainbows (1-7-0-1*) at Instant Karma (4-5-1), Tompkins East, 1:00pm
(*up to Week 9; no stats on Week 10 yet)
by Hornswoggle

Now’s an opportune time for Chadtrick’s plus-minus rating to improve, as well as the state of his own squad, which has now a 5-game losing streak, beginning with being shut out by the Anklebiters in W6. But wait—the Rainbows look at their streak and said, “Hold my beer” and currently have six losses in a row (note: Greenie’s shutout against the Riots was a Week 3 game that was postponed, soz for the objectivity). So both sides have nothing to lose and everything to gain from this match, namely because they can play loosely and not feel like there’s a winning style, especially because they’re searching for it! Let’s take a look at the different corners.

Perhaps the new threads haven’t been working out so far for Karma, and it seems that seasoned veteran and media manager Isaac pinpointed the issue to scoring production. That might be true, but prior to last week’s concession to Poutine, Karma had four players with three goals compared to Poutine’s one; coming into this week, this still stands. Is scoring production important? Clearly, yes. Tied for fourth worst in this category might not cut it when the postseason arrives in early September (I’m surprised as all the BTSH traditionalists are with this schedule change), but it’s not the critical area, as I think it’s defense. Bill and Nicole have been colossal for that back line, and both have abilities to quarterback offensive campaigns. Shuffling random passes up the court in the hopes of reaching the Vernoia siblings, Matt, or Derek will only go so far; Karma will need Norris-like—not the Math kind!—defensemen willing to brave the 50 minutes and traverse past the half-court line, chance-creating. And if I had one piece of advice, it would be to Steve: believe in yourself, buddy! It’s your first year with us, you’ve had a rough schedule, and the weather isn’t getting any better, but take water breaks in the devastating heat for yourself and your comrades, communicate with the people in front of you, and don’t stress against the stuff that goes past you—keep getting those experience points!

Okay, so now we’re onto the Rainbows. After what they’ve been through for the past year, they’ve finally achieved euphoria with a long-eluding W. And despite falling to the Riots last Sunday in, I speculate, an excruciating match separated by one goal, team chemistry has never seemed higher than what it is now. This is a major element in winning, and even though it looks more evident in teams like LBS, Inc. or Cobra Kai, you’ll look at it in a team like the Rainbows and hoping they’ll be able to translate the camaraderie into convincing Ws. There are three players who can be pivotal to victory—I mean other than “league sweetheart” and article contributor Cat, of course—and they are Bryan (3 goals), Jess, and Eric T. Bryan is a player who doesn’t have a hard time finding open space, and his teammates should make spotting his movement a priority if they want more net-positive opportunities; Jess’ work ethic is quite high and accordingly can be the perfect fulcrum for making north-south transitions; Eric T. has a cannon for a shot, and if given the space, can produce Howitzer-esque, quality attempts from long range (I saw one of his half-court efforts sail past Dave GDR last Sunday). It’s one thing that the Rainbows’ kits are bright, but if y’all put your trust in these three, you could be seeing even brighter futures down the line.

Prediction: A source (from one of these two sides, but I’m withholding the identity) told me of a palpable fear of losing to this week’s opponent. Is it logical? Personally, it’s something I don’t believe in, particularly if you’re giving your all for your team. Contributions don’t have to come with goals or assists, just remember that. But due to lack of scoring prowess between these two lineups, I’ll hazard a guess on a post-regulation victory for Chadtrick’s crew, based on what’s already on paper. [Continue Reading…]

On Sunday we kicked off 9 weeks of continuous Sunday hawkey, not with some underwhelming draft day trades, but with some great (albeit a little humid) weather at Tompkins Square Park. Zach of the Norris clan had an excellent game notes quip for one of the games, but after some loser shots amongst the teams who hung out around Doc’s post the 2 barn burner BTSH night cap affairs, (those rep’d being the Mathletes, Gut Rot Bitzez, What the CaNucks, REEhabs and POUNDS), I forgot what was mentioned. Hopefully we can make up for that…on to the box scores.

(Yes Walker you may** have a positive plus-minus now – on behalf of our WTP 1994 styled CaNucks themed blunder, you’re welcome – but “an excellent game notes quip” is singular because they are called “game notes” but there is only 1 per game and it was specifically only 1 excellent comment/quip – but then again my posts get corrections for Poutine stats, not my run on terrible prose!)

(** but you don’t because it’s not officially tracked)


Mega Touch 4 @ Gut Rot 1

Mega – Jeff B x2 (5), Joe L (2), Eric D (1)

Goalie Win – Jeff H (2-0, GAA of Michaliga Southeast Division best of a Rouge)

Gut Rot – Scott K (6)

Goalie Loss – Charlie O’D via Free Agents

Game Notes: The Jeff’s of Mega Touch pace the pointy fingered shirts to an easy divisional matchup W against Gut Rot.

How many Jeff’s do you have? Is this like a Zach thing with the Demons?



Cobra Kai 5 @ Demons 2

Cobra Kai – Pete (2), Will x2 (5), Paul “my hand is only broken on Tuesdays” Brown (5), Liam (6)

Goalie Win – Campbell (7-0-2, GAA of 1.22)

Demons – Zach T (3), Zach F (4)

Goalie Loss – Zach L (1-6-1)

Game Notes: Rubens determined that the game was over by half time and CK obliged, getting an early start on their vodka spiked watermelon on the sidelines. Just kidding, this one went the distance with Liam scoring an empty netter from behind his own goal line late to seal it. That was unassisted of course, because we don’t track that, and because a goalie ball is the re-start after a play that has been called by virtue of a whistle.

Quick Shifts: AIUI, possession is measured – via advanced stats – through shots for and against in the form of proxies such as corsi and fenwick. As (ball) hockey is a game of randomness, this may not be 100% precise, but it is generally noted that teams which carry higher corsi/fenwick have higher possession or, higher quality possession which affords them a higher share of “game events” (that being shots on goal) which is correlated to higher goal totals (and higher winning percentages). And by that logic, if you are a (higher) possession player, you score more goals, not less/zero. Especially if you are a high event/high shooting percentage hockey god like Laine.

Trending: Will the Demons make good on their Denim alter ego heading into Canada Day next Sunday? Unlikely, there are clouds in the forecast.



Instant Karma 1 @ Poutine 4

IK – Derek ZED (4)

Goalie Loss – Steve F (2-5, GAA of we don’t talk about it after Week 5/6)

Poutine – Mike P (2), Hornswoggle JVR (2), Nicky (1), Nicolette (1)

Goalie Win – AJ F (3-0, GAA of 1.25ish when rounding the no decision from Week 3)

Game Notes: Derek ZED’s shirt was soaked with sweat from carrying his team on his back again, albeit it in another losing effort. Karma still look to eclipse their expected pythagorean points from season previews.

Trending: Karma has only scored two goals since Week 5. (I know what you’re going to ask, and yes, that’s less than the Dank Rainbows)

Quick Shifts: If Jerome refers to me as Hoggswoggle can I refer to him as Hornystyle? Pause.



Math 3 @ Filthier 7

Math – Amy (4), Zach (2), Ellyyy (3)

Goalie Loss – David L (1-6)

Filthier – Shafiq (3), JJ (3), Jaime D x2 (5), James (7), Sunny x2 (9)

Goalie Win – Tim “my workload is worse than Cam Talbot’s back when the Oilers were good for one year” K (7-3, GAA of 1.90)

Game Notes: Filthier reminded our power rankings folks that they are not so far away from being a serious contender, with a dominating performance, albeit against the consensus “could win or lose against any BTSH team” team in Math.



New Look Sky Fighters 2 @ Old Look Sky Fighters 3

New Look – Sean N (2), Greg I (2)

Goalie Loss – James S (2-6-1)

Old Look – Miles H (10), Jeff (8), Sig (3 knockdowns – allegedly)

Goalie Win – Coach (7-1, GAA of 2.50, stuff of living Legends, or should I say, active hall of fame inductees)

Game Notes: I’m going to post on the BTSH facebook page to ask Infanti if we can wear white (and red) for Canada Day next Sunday. I don’t have his number.

Speaking of how to use that BTSH fb group thing…


Riots 6 @ Rainbows 1

Riots – Margot x2 (3), Alex L x2 (3), Kevin Z (2), Dave F (2)

Goalie Win – Dave GdR (2-6-1)

Rainbows – Eric T (1)

Goalie Loss – Greenwald (1-7)

Game Notes: Apparently Jess doesn’t intentionally miss handshakes after shut out losses, but Greenwald might still see it my way on that. However, she does intentionally hand out post-game beers if you are refereeing. Definitely didn’t miss any calls in the FK-Habs game because of that.

Quick Shifts: Margot made sure to get the winner by scoring not only the ice breaker, but the second goal in this contest. Only leaving Dave to think about what could have been this past weekend.

Trending: Jess also asked for more zingers in the box scores. No offense. So I had to politely remind her of this hockey geek one from Week 7.




GANK – Jared “Benoit Pouliot” (8), Chris B (3), Jason B (2)

Goalie Loss – Craig “Mad Goalie” LaC (4-3)

Hookers – Justin x2 (3), Tiff (3), TJ x2 (3), Garbage Time Goal Cro (5)

Goalie Win – Dustin “TOKARSKI” (2-3-1, GAA of 2.33)

Game Notes: If Tiff and Newnam hadn’t kicked Bill off the team, this would have been a great box score for their new uni’s…Too bad they couldn’t come with some matching kicks as well!

Quick Shifts: As a Left-Shooting Hawkeytarian, What about when GANK spanked Hookers earlier in the season? This win means nothing either I guess.



Gremlins 4 @ DaPucks 3

Gremlins – Alex Salt Bro x3 (4), Ryan M (1)

Goalie Win – Jamie B (7-2-1)

WTP – Hanif (1), Zach “Mike Gartner” x2 (3)

Goalie Loss – Scott H (2-6)

Game Notes: Pucks live up to their playoff run of 2017 and find a way to lose a 3-2 lead midway through the final frame to a higher division foe with Rockoff riding off to Australia with his first career BTSH hat-trick.

Quick Shifts: I still don’t have a photo of my team in our newest alternate threads to share…wth!?



Fresh Kills 4 @ Rehabs 2

Fresh Kills – Ariel “didn’t even need to use my move” (6), Tom “he literally did come out of retirement just to beat the Rehabs again” Rush x3 (3)

Goalie Win – Barch Pile (4-2, GAA of 2.67)

Rehabs – Monique R (2), Alex WM (5)

Goalie Loss – Eric “don’t you dare add that EN-goal to my GAA” Ramirez (4-2, GAA of 1.83 but we all know it should be 1.67)

Game Notes: Rehabs dominated stretches (or all but the first 17 seconds when Ariel scored and the last 2:30 when Tom scored 3) of this game but could not put away FK and it cost them dearly.

Gabe Watch: No Gabe. Was away for that St Jean Baptiste Day (aka Separatist Day) thing, but as a Quebecor, he doesn’t celebrate Canada Day, so he’s likely back next Sunday.

Trending: Ryann making notes on the game sheets to explain to me how a goal was scored, albeit while I’m the other ref in that game….prove me wrong but here’s how this game went;

Ariel – opens scoring 17 seconds in after losing the faceoff, stealing on the half wall, and walking around Senna to Sedin shootout style snipe on the off wing at the high hash marks low block above the pad. FK 1-0

Monique – Hicks manages to find himself on a 2-on-1 and Eugene leaves her wide open on the door step and oh so close to stepping in the crease. Guess my Pavel Barber video paid off, but I don’t remember it discussing how to make passes with the True 6 series stick. 1-1

Alex WM – Alex clangs one off the post and while the ball sits between Barch’s legs, he turns and kicks the loose ball into the net. Good goal. Rehabs lead 2-1

A calamity of missed opportunities and apparent stick checks, as Rehabs dominate this portion of the game.

Tom – Steals off an inbound pass to the last defender in the Rehabs zone. Hicks maybe is aware it’s R3T!R3D T!M3 taking his last shift, or maybe I was. Tom waltzes around the defender still looking for their jock strap and coolly walks around Ramirez to tie the game. 2-2 with 2:23 remaining in the game.

Tom – Off a turnover near half Tom has the ball once again out against the Rehabs’ third line and takes a shot that hits Ramirez high in the shoulder, but has enough pace on it to end up going into the net. FK 3-2

Tom – Fires a shot on net from his own zone in the dying seconds to grab the natural hat-trick and a 4-2 FK win.



POUNDS 1 @ Butchers 2

POUNDS – ScottyK (12)

Goalie Loss – Fizzler (7-2, GAA of 1.56)

Butchers – Mike (3), Brady (4)

Goalie Win – Kevin “All Star Game 2018 Snubby” Longwell via Ligue 1 Free Transfer Market

Game Notes: The BTSH Power Rankings (and goalie sub) curse lives on as POUNDS find a way to not win this one.

Quick Shifts: In the most Kevin Longwell thing ever, he tells me he is not hung over (for the first time all week), but then proceeds to tell me he is playing for a different team than which he actually was supposed to be there playing for (FK instead of Butchers). Good thing you showed up at the right time man!


Week 10 in Tweets

Keeping it light, like my hockey attendance over the past couple weeks. #DoubleClick

by RichieHero

Disclaimer: The following is said with love from someone who believes in gay rights. This includes the right to be made fun of.

Sunday was Pride Day where we celebrate Scotty and the Lesbians, and all the other gays and only give stars to them! But Scotty lost and so did most of the Lesbians, and  I don’t know if there are any male gays in the league. So as gays do they can go F themselves and I’m going to stick to giving the stars to the ones who earned it on the court.

Third Star

Butchers you dummies, this is why you’re a top division team! Because you beat the #1 seed in BTSH with almost no subs. Mike and Brady score and the shorthanded Butchers playing with only one guy sub and two girl sub beat the vaunted Lbs. 2-1. With wins like this, they maybe staying in the top division longer than they like. (OK, you prob won’t since you’re still four points behind FK but still…tread lightly my friends.)

Corresponding Not a Star
Power Rankings. The LBS were the #1 team in the prestigious yet imaginary Power Rankings and much like Poutine last year, immediately shit the bed. These losers probably won’t win until August. [Continue Reading…]

The BTSH Media brings you the second 2018 installment of Know Your Neighbor, the longest ever to date, featuring Russell from the evil dojo, Cobra Kai!

“BigRuss” – Reason: I can do multiple push ups in a row. Used in a sentence: “BigRuss is awesome.”
“The Provider”- Reason: I provide for the people. Used in a sentence: “We want to thank The Provider for providing us with everything that was provided….”

Hometown: Northern Virginia. But people often say I’m from “the streets”

College: East Carolina, Go Pirates! Virginia Tech, Go Hokies!

Celebrity doppelgänger: Tom Brady. I often get told I look a lot like Tom Brady… that’s pretty much the only one I get through.
Pump up song: “Not Ready to Make Nice” by the Dixie Chicks… for you it’s about the Iraq war… for me it’s about Winning a BTSH championship. [Continue Reading…]