From the daily archives: "Friday, April 13, 2018"

Filthier at Fuzz
By A Young Padawan and their Jedi Master

So, we got to thinking this week…what would happen to these two teams in a post-apocalyptic world? If civilization collapsed, modern technology ceased to exist, and food and water became extremely scarce, we ask you…WWFAFD? (What would Fuzz and Filthier do?)

We’d choose the apocalypse over having to spend more than 30 seconds in the Tompkins restrooms.

Well, we have some predictions, which (surprise!) have nothing to do with hockey…

  • In a pathetic grab at power, Glanzer would quickly attempt to crown himself King of this new society…but, the King and Queen would clearly be James and Ann. Let’s be real.
  • Sig, in pre-apocalyptic world is a teacher, so in a post-apocalyptic world, naturally he would set up a school and teach everyone the Earth’s tattered history.
  • Walsh would STILL be sitting at his desk, attempting to work. (Come out foraging with us Walshy, quarterly earnings aren’t a thing anymore.)
  • Sunny blankly stares at a non-functioning rusted out old TV, still waiting for a Leafs game that will never happen.
  • Kate would be the REAL leader. James and Ann are just figureheads.
  • Ryann would obviously be the most instrumental to the survival of the group. Spoiler alert: You all die of thirst, starvation, or worse, without Ryann. (We see you, girl.)
  • Alexa still keeps all the ref assignments in her Rainbow Brite Trapper Keeper, hoping to one day rebuild BTSH. (Do you get THIS reference, Alexa??)
  • Coach doesn’t see how this is any more dangerous than a Sunday matinee at CBGB in 1987.
  • Tim K doesn’t even realize the apocalypse has happened because he is still looking for parking at Moffo.
  • Amongst the rubble, Jeff comes upon the illustrious PBR Cup. But he won’t touch it…
  • JJ and Jean attempt to start a Lucy van Pelt-style “Psychiatric Help” roadside stand. Sarah T. shows them how it’s done, starting one of her own and putting them out of business in one week.
  • Where are Suvin and Dennis??

(Hockey) Prediction: James didn’t score last week, so he’ll be hungry. In the tightest contest of the week, this one goes to OT…with Danielle netting the game winner.  4-3, Filthier. [Continue Reading…]