From the monthly archives: "April 2018"

Cobra Kai and Poutine Machine finished their game that was rained out a couple weeks ago with Cobra Kai getting the win and Campbell the shutout.

Cobra Kai then got right back at it and narrowly defeated the Gremlins on a controversial crease goal.  So, that guy Tom is that good.  Note to self.

Rehabs thwarted Filthier in an exciting early day game.

Hookers went toe-to-toe with the class of the league, but Fresh Kills got the win via a shootout.  [Continue Reading…]

Message from Rose Charities

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU all for coming out to play hockey and drink for Rose Charities! This year’s tournament was our most successful yet and we owe it all to you.

We had a record breaking year, raising over $9,000 for Physical Therapy Training in Cambodia!! This money goes further than you may realize. By supporting Physical Therapy in Cambodia, you are helping people heal from injuries – keeping them healthy, working and out of poverty.  Your contributions are more than just a handout; Physical Therapy means that our patients can work and support their families, empowering them to help themselves. Rose Charities believes in supporting local communities by employing and training locals within the community for greater and longer lasting impact. We are a volunteer organization that operates on close to zero overhead, ensuring all of your donations go directly to the project.

[Continue Reading…]

Gouging Anklebiters at Mathematics
by Izzy

It is possible that Sarah and the Biters may have peaked too early this year.  After starting off the season by lighting the lamp on fire with 19 goals scored and only allowing a measly 3 they were labeled the ‘team of destiny’.  However, after last week’s stale fart of a performance their fan base has been left wondering if they pulled the trigger too early on ordering those Derho jerseys. This Sunday we’ll find out if they are who think they are.

Mathematics on the other hand are right where they usually seem to be this time of year – hovering above .500 and rounding into mid-season form.  What’s puzzling though is that a Norris has yet to register a single point and the Kazinator is on pace to score 9 goals this year.  But none of that seems to matter thanks to John having elevated his game to a Bergeron-esque level.

Prediction: Both teams manage to stay out of the crease and Rebecca snipes the OT winner for Math, 4-3. [Continue Reading…]

Cobra Kai at Gremlins
by Arya Stark

Putting together two position-by-position previews in week five seems totally unnecessary but hey, it’s 2:30 AM, my apartment is full of (mostly legal) drugs and there’s only so many times I can watch SNL sketches (old and new).  So what the hell, let’s do another one for this pivotal D3 showdown.

Forwards
Cobra Kai has returned their 2017 core and even improved upon it with the addition of Olivier “Derrick” Brassard.  They’ve handed the Rehabs their only loss and, right before this game, will finish up their rained out week 3 matchup with the also undefeated Poutine whom they lead 1-0 at the half.  The Gremlins, meanwhile, have an impressive group of forwards led by Erich, Cody and the Magic Man himself (along with Rockoff, the best player agent BillsMafia tears can buy).  It’s surprising, then, that they’ve underwhelmed thus far, having scored the same number of goals as their opponents despite having an extra game factored into the stats.

EDGE: Even

Defense
Liam is one of the very best in the league at generating offense from the backline while LJ will be fresh off forcing the 24th retirement of $h0wt!m3 shortly after demolishing the city of Philly.  Her wanton destruction of public property aside, she’ll have her hands full with the aforementioned Gremlins offense and Marcella’s surprisingly effective golf-swing slapshot.  The Gremmies have a strong core of defenders but rumor has it they’re more concerned with their playing time, +/-ratings and being mad at the media for snarky reporting of the Mega Touch incident (Mega Touch incident referring to a tense confrontation in week 3 and not a euphemism for team-wide sexual assault) than the Evil Dojo. [Continue Reading…]

by Richiepoothang

The Rose Charity will get their own writeup, but if we were doing three stars for that, Rachel would get the third for all her hard work putting it together. Rachel would also get the 2nd for answering my 20 texts, 5 gchats, and 2 emails. But the first star would go to the MVP of the tournament and that of course is my nephew/Godson Adam, who never played hockey before and got an assist on one of his first shift. It is odd he won the MVP despite going 1-2 but that’s the way the voters voted.

Now onto the three stars of Week 4! [Continue Reading…]