On Sunday we learned that jumbo bagels have better defenses than that of the Demons (except for Bar Down Brad, probably the most underrated player in the league, until I noted him as underrated, per the Chadwick paradox) and that Rich won’t tell us what happened in the hot legs competition. On to the box scores.

(Some Context: WTP does gag gifts for birthdays and that photo is going to be signed and framed for Co Captain Eric in 2019. Maris [photo cred] said the goal was a “lucky freebee shoot” so we’ll scold her later with fourth line minutes against Mega) Now, on the box scores.

 

Week Something “Rain” Out Replay

Hookers 1 @ Les Curdz 0

Hookers – Brian “obviously a garbage time goal” Cro (6)

Goalie Shutout Win – Dustin “TOKARSKI” (5-3-2, GAA of 1.90)

Goalie Loss – RJ (3-3, GAA of 1.14)

Game Notes: I think Sunday was cloudier than the day this game was called off.

 

Week 13/14/15

Butchers 2 @ Fuzz 8

Butchers – Dana (2), Brady (5)

Goalie Loss – Charlies O’D via Zog Days of Summer

Fuzz – Mike “I MAY or may not have run up the score with three late” Teyt x4 (15), Miles (14), Jeff x2 (14), Sarah “Not C but Zee” ugh Zed (1)

Goalie Win – Lester Patrick (9-1-1, GAA of 2 point blue 42)

Game Notes: When the power rankings asked who the new league scoring champ would be since Mike Teyt was playing defense now, I shrugged (unslouched) my shoulders and furiously typed a snarky sentence or two regarding him winning again in spite of the question being posted, or in spite of the younger, better looking, new look Sky Fighters who filled the void on his old squad.

 

La Banquise 2 @ Mega 1

Poutine – Brian “not a Business Student Association” Sulli (4), Connor “hopefully M and not L” M (2)

Goalie Win – RJ (4-3, GAA of 1.14)

Mega – Erik with a K like EK(65) ? (1)

Game Notes: La Banquise is a great late night poutine spot to fall asleep post meal at 3am. Can confirm.

Quick Shifts: RJ continues to literally and figuratively have the lightest workload of any “starter” in the league with only 6 7 games played and a GAA of a miniscule 1.14. I can already see the texts from Sizzler now “oh, can we go back to wins to rank goalies, GAA is dumb”.

Trending: I expect corrections to the above not for the Poutine stats but for Mega because the gamesheet had RJ playing for Mega and then the same guy scoring for Mega and playing goalie for Poutine…oyvey!

 

Filthier 3 @ Rehabs 1

Filthier – OP James (9), Ryan McLe (1), Always Sunny (13)

Goalie Win – Tim “who needs a backup anyway” K (10-3, GAA of 1.84)

Rehabs – Zach “I like it better on WTP” Gardner via Hicks’ Cardio is 4 Chumps Emergency Taxi Squad

Goalie Loss – Will “Ho Sang” via FA

Game Notes: This second half was fun to watch for anyone out there other than Tim as Rehabs sent a barrage of shots his way trying to overcome the deficit built in last week’s first half but he was up to the task only letting one late garbage time goal spoil the shutout bid.

 

ReEEEEEhabs 5 @ H00kers 0

Rehabs – Showtime via FA?, Alex wM (8), Charlie D (1), Monique R (3), HICKSY (4)

Goalie Shutout Win – Will “Ho Sang” via FA

Goalie Loss – Dustin “TOKARSKI” (5-4-2, GAA of 2.18)

Game Notes: Hookers finally end a game in regulation for the first time in about a month (ignoring the “rain” makeup) but get overpowered by a short Rehabs bench in a game they hope to forget as they look ahead at division 4 poaching season playoffs. (I think they still have 2 1 rain makeups and 4 other games left)

Quick Shifts: Charlie avenges his performance against Fresh Kills Tom Rush’s retirement comeback game going +5 with a relative corsi for of 58% and 29 minutes in time on black top making life easy for “Ho Sang” in net (or at least, easier less stressful than that game against Rainbows later in the day).

What’s in a name: I put two zero’s in the H00kers’ name to represent Cro’s attendance at the Olympics.

 

WTP 4 @ Demons 2

DaPucks – Ball Hogg (4) (Michaliga only because I needed him to win the opening faceoff to score 2.68 seconds into the game), Ball Hogg (5) (Unassisted obviously), Buffalo Zach (7) (Bagel Zac by accidental clearing attempt/not a pass/200 foot lucky freebee shoot attempt), Michaliga (Jon C NUMBER SITXY-NINE, Sam McI from the Thirsty Preview)

Goalie Win – Scott H (5-7, GAA of 3.16)

Demons – Josh R (2), Bar Down Brad (4)

Goalie Loss – Eitan via LemmeGoalieNotAgainstDaPucks

Game Notes: Brad and Jenn were quick to note that if I want assists tracked, I could show up on Tuesday nights….Wrong again! Although, Demons outplayed and held the balance of scoring chances, it was not to be on this day as they came up unlucky and/or were robbed by either great goaltending, excellent highsticking, clearances, or quick whistles keeping the ball from entering the Pucks’ net on this day.

Trending: Since being moved back up to forward full time, the division 4 namesake himself has 3 goals in WTP’s last two contests… After missing the few easier D4 games in the WTP schedule earlier this year, Scott saved one of his best of the season to grab DaPucks their first out of division win since Week 15 of 2017.

Quick Shifts: Two Zac/h’s who can score are better than an infinite number who cannot. Note how I spelt that, Popack.

Goalie Union: Even I don’t know how many times Eitan played for/against WTP this year.

 

 Filthier 3 @ Sky Fighters 2

Filthier – Jamie D (6), OP James x2 (11)

Goalie Win – Glenn Hall (10-3, GAA of 1.86)

SKY – Katie S (4), Showtime via definitely FA

Goalie Loss – OG James (3-8-1, GAA of 3.25)

Game Notes: OP James > OG James

Quick Shifts: That James guy embodies, look good, feel good, play good, cleaning up pretty well off the court too. No pics on hand, so we can get hot and bothered by him in the playoffs when the games really matter.

 

Riots 1 @ Karma 4

Riots – Margot S (4)

Goalie Loss – Eitan viaLemmeGoalieNotAgainstDaPucks

Karma – Matt S x2 (4), BBC Pluto (2), Derek Zed (5)

Goalie Win – Charlie O’D via Zog Days of Summer

Game Notes: With two goalies who played earlier in the day, both defenses kept a tight checked game exciting, but for the fact that Karma had an early lead and never looked back thanks to mighty defence of Thor himself hammering all loose balls out of harms way on Sunday, providing ample opportunities for Chadwick to play dump and chase with his nine foot pole long stick that makes Pierre McGuire hot and bothered a la HICKSY.

 

Gut Rot 2 @ Gremlins 1

The Bitzez – Tommy C x2 (2)

Goalie Win – Ed P (4-6, GAA of a Girl Scout Cookie, probably Mint)

Gremlins – The Mighty Tim (4)

Goalie Loss – Jamie B (8-3-2, GAA of a Bagel Breakfast Sandwich)

Game Notes: Mr Cho had a big return to the lineup scoring his first two of the season to give Ed enough breathing room to lower his GAA back to a respectable sub 4 level heading into the August stretch run.

 

Pounds 2 @ Biters 3

Pounds – Blink182 (15), Avery (4)

Goalie Loss – Sizzler (7-3-2, GAA of 1.92)

Biters – Probie (16), Sarah M (4), Joe “I don’t always score, but when I do, it’s with 2.68 second left” P (6)

Goalie Win – Tim Bwn (3-2-and an unfinished game against Fuzz!, GAA of 2.17)

Game Notes: Missing Bar Napkin Love Poems

Quick Shifts: At least this last second effort wasn’t denied by a phantom high stick this time around.

 

Cobra Kai 2 @ Dank Rainbows 1

CK – Some other Zack who doesn’t play on Demons via FA x2 (2)

Goalie Win – Will “that guy who replaced Showtime on Rehabs” via FA

Rainbows – Christina S (1)

Goalie Loss – Greenwald (1-9, GAA of 3.45)

Game Notes: Greenwald won the hot legs competition, at least, right? He may lament if his Riots shutout were to disappear (again) but he certainly earned one with his play in this game, keeping the game scoreless at half with a number of point blank ten-bell saves, similar to his performance earlier in the year against the Demons.

Quick Shifts: Even with a light lineup, CK came out with only 3 girls as Dani, Nabatty Light, and LJ shared Suter like minutes throughout the game (Who is the NWHL equivalent of Suter? Probably Shelly!). Two points is two points, and getting your “black top” time in is very valuable if you missed a Saturday scrimmage and a mofo game or two, so who can blame em?

Conceited or Confident: CK started Campbell at forward and Rainbows were up 1-0 in the second half, but CK were able to turn it around in the latter stages of the game to ensure they kept pace with the likes of…Fuzz! who blew out Butchers earlier in the day.

 

Fresh Kills 2 @ Math 3 (F/OT)

FK – French Babe (6), Eugene (3)

Goalie OT Loss – Jamie B via convenient last minute league sub

Math – Sam “I waited a week to ask Walker to post that photo of those green shoes” Norris (4), Jon M x2 (7)

Goalie Win – Liang (3-7)

Babe Watch: Gabe was there and tried Ariel’s move in OT. But that’s why he’s Gabe, and not Ariel. Score, he did not. You can’t do that. It’s Ariel’s move for a reason.

Quick Shifts: Jon snuck the winner off a bank shot from below/on the goal line to complete a great individual effort and finish this BTSH instant classic in style.

 

Week 14 in Tweets

Since all 8 of my non-bot followers did not appreciate social media free week (last week), I had Hootsuite post a few extra this week on my behalf. #DoubleClick