Filthier (4) vs. Cobra Kai (1)
by Donnie Shulzhoffer and Doug McLeod
Disclaimer: We have absolutely no association with this league. The BTSH Media was so desperate for content, they hired two people off the internet. Neither of us know what street hockey is nor how to count, especially when it comes to calculating your pluses and minuses.
So somehow a Division 3 team ended up as number 1 in the league by achieving an impressive 16-0-2 record. Let’s take a moment to recognize that feat. But let’s also take a moment to point out that Will G. thinks shootouts are a joke, and yet, the CK/Biters shootout is what led CK to this point.
Reasons They’ve Made It This Far:
Pound for Lb, these teams seem pretty evenly matched. With both teams relatively close in total goals CK (61) and Filthy (58), it could come down to solid defense and goaltending. And lucky for Will, there are NO shootouts in the semis. For the entertainment portion of this piece we wanted to provide you all with the best.ever. (did that sound biased?) shootout video since you won’t get this on Sunday.
Rachel Report: We heard Nabatz is injured. Frowny face. (Get well soon!)
As for Longley and Iwanyszyn, they should be good to go.
Suvin and Dennis report: Still missing.
Wedding report: No one in Charlotte’s family is getting married this Sunday, so most key players should be present for each team this go ’round.
Hopefully Filthy and CK have taken off from work the week leading up to playoffs and are spending quality time in the locker room studying highlight video and drinking plenty of Hi-C because both have top goalies, skilled scorers, and a JJ each – it’s no wonder these 2 teams have found themselves in the semifinals.
Prediction: It was a great run for the Dojo, but they fall to the veteran know-how of Filthy, 2-1.
LBS (3) and Fuzz (2)
How they got here: After taking care of Math 3-1 in the round of 16, Fuzz finally got over the hump and defeated their demons and beat the Rehabs for the first time since 2016. LBS dispatched the actual Demons 3-1 in the round of 16 then took care of business against Poutine 2-1 in the Elite Eight.
All Time Series: Luckily since Fuzz came into existence seemingly out of nowhere in 2016, I only had to go through 3 years of hockey history for this. Fuzz is 1-2 all time against LBS (LBS are 2-0-1) with the win coming in an LOLSHOOTOUT this season. Someone tell Fuzz that won’t be an option this round.
Fuzz is as frightening as: An old dude well past his prime screaming at you on one leg while a bunch of super talented 20 somethings and an ageless wonder endlessly fire shots at your goalie. And we’re not talking about fireball or tequila shots.
LBS is as frightening as: A roster full of studs fresh off the bus from their various QMJHL/OHL/D5/MOFFO/YMCA/ZOG games who no one knows for sure if half of them played 5 games (no exemption request, they must’ve!) and a guy on the sidelines screaming “JUSTIN TUCKERRRRR” who we all wish was out there.
Fuzz should worry about: Frey pulling in subs D5 style without informing captains he’s doing it. Just roster check their whole team. Is Alexa coming this week? There’s a home Jets game.
LBS should worry about: Who’s guarding Ryann? She’s somehow always open in front of the net and after hitting a post last week, is well past due for a goal.
Fuzz can sleep soundly about: This probably won’t be the defensive struggle you endured last week. If LBS wants to run and gun, Fuzz will run and gun away with this one. Plus, #playoffsCoach.
LBS can sleep soundly about: Fuzz probably has their whole bench there this week. While that means their defense will be bolstered with Paul coming back, it also means that there will be a lot more male forwards and therefore less playing time for Jeff, Miles, and Gil until they decide to shorten the bench late. We might even see #forwardGlnzr. Put Avery or Frey out on defense when members of the aforementioned big 3 are out and force their depth players to beat you.
Prediction: If you asked me to predict this a week ago I would have gone with LBS easily. But after experiencing first hand #playoffsCoach last week, I had to give this more thought. Both teams have little to no holes, so this might just come down to which team finds a way to get their best players on the court the most. In that case, I’m giving the nod to LBS still and they avenge the LOLSHOOTOUT loss from earlier this year. This feels more like last year’s championship game where you go in expecting it to be a 3-2 game but it ends up being a 6-5 final. LBS 6 Fuzz 3.
PBR Cup Final
Filthier (4) and LBS, Inc. (3)
The road to the PBR Cup Final has been well documented by the media throughout the playoffs. Both of these teams have championship pedigree and the thirst to finish atop the BTSH Mountain.
Why You Should Get Behind Filthier: they play a beautiful team game and have a near squeaky clean infraction record. Their passion and chemistry also make them a near must-see-BTSH team each Sunday. James is arguably the best player in the league and Tim K is arguably playing like the best goalie in the league. That combination along with the elevated play of Kate and Becky earn them the media stamp of approval to support them.
Why You Should Get Behind LBS: they have been in the Tompkins Square Dance the past three seasons, including the Finals in 2016, but have come up short each trip. Last season Karsten, the ageless wonder, was inducted into the BTSH Hall of Fame and during his speech he declared that LBS would win the Cup in 2018. We like bold statements. We like Avery and Big mac. And we love this LBS team. You should too.
Prediction: eh, perhaps 2019 will be LBS’s year. The speed on Filthier along with the ferocious fore-checking by their forwards will be too much for a Scotty K – less pound team to overcome. Filthy wins their second franchise title, 4-2.