By some poor innocent bystander who happened to walk into Parkside Lounge one Sunday evening hoping for a quiet place to drink a cold Tecate.

Since pictures are worth a 1,000 words and picture taking is absolutely forbidden at this event, I decided to recap the Olympics for you using photo evidence.

Arm Wrestling – Sam M and Nicole H

Also wrestles unicorns in his spare time.

Nicole has proven she lifts a lot.

Silver Medals went to Hicks and Nicolette H.

2017 Arm Wrestling Competition

Flip Cup – Team Poundtown – Scotty K (the Blink 182 one), Alex F, Rachel K

Pounds confidence was running high. Rumor has it they played with their dominant hand tied behind their back

Tecate Chug – Rainbows – Cat B, Bryan L, and Brett S

Upon further review Cat still has some beer left in her bottle.

2 girls, 1 cup – Morgen S, Rachel K

Morgen dominated again, for the 3rd year in a row. Astonishing the crowd, she sucked, and sucked, and sucked until it……..finished.

Bar Napkin Love Poem – Phil D.

Lampooning teams and walking us through what BTSH really means, Phil drew huge applause from the crowd, and took home the medal in this one.  (Marko, his teammate and former champion in this event…was suspiciously absent.)

Phallic Fluffer Eating Contest – Lee B.

Lee made that phallus disappear quicker than the Hookers disappear when it’s their day to clean up the courts.

Phallic Fluffer Competition

Hot Legs – Zach F.

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