2016 BTSH Round of Four!

Welcome to the 2016 BTSH Round of Four, which will hopefully become the Round of Two (also known as the PBR Cup) later in the day. And, after the championship game, we celebrate the closing of the season at Parkside Lounge with awesome drink specials and the 2016 BTSH Championship team of ~~assholes~~ generally acceptable and friendly people, whose captain has still not fully paid the contract for the trade of two of my players. In other words, Brian, the PBR Cup currently has a lien on it.

On that same note thinking about the Cup–do we even know where the PBR Cup is?

Pounds v. Fresh Kills

LBS won the first two meetings this season. Can they win a third?

by Sam

This past week’s Pounds vs. Filthier was, in and of itself, a championship quality game the whole way through. How did the Pounds win that game? It came down to about 40% luck, as all one goal ball hockey games do, and 40% to Luke for breaking through so many players and potting two goals*.

Will Ali’s Pound Town show up again in full force? They’re going to need to against the Kills, but if Tim Brown shows up and Jake finally gets to a game, the Pounds have a big shot at winning this thing, which will line up a fantastic championship against either the Sky Fighters or Rehabs.

Fresh Kills are looking strong this year, again. Not only were they able to put 5 between the pipe against Tim B the Goalie, but they may do the exact same thing against Tim B the Original Goalie (reduced to Tim B the OG). If all the boys in blue show up Sunday and get ready to run their ass off against the fastest Pounds team in recent history, they may really rain some hell. I don’t really know any of the girls on FK, so that’s about the end of this preview, except that this game is likely going to overtime.

*I also don’t know how to allocate that other 20%.

by Isaac

Well I do know a couple of the women on Fresh Kills and they are fierce. LBS might be the first to a loose ball, but Sheena, Natasha & Co. usually have the last word.

The scary version of FK that no one has been talking about is how focused Gabe and Rush were against Karma and Butchers. If they bring that same determination against Karsten and Scott (where’s Jake been? he does know this is the playoffs? right?) then LBS could blow their top and lose their cool.

Prediction: Fresh Kills rediscovered how to have fun first and win second during the regular season. And as much as I like this LBS crew, Soko and his gang will be joking around right into the Finals against…

Rehabs v. Sky Fighters — Semi-final rematch gets you doubled up preview!

Balls are sure to be flying in this one.

by Sam

Who would have thought, except maybe Mike Teytelbaum, that the Sky Fighters would be now in the round of 4? I mean, I hoped they would have lost to my team, but after winning, I hoped they would of beaten (T)the Fuzz. Turns out they did, so I’m not sure what else they are capable of.

Mike T and Olivier may be smiling over their stellar offense, but the Sky Fighters tried and true power is in their, for lack of better words, “clusterfuck defense”. Seriously folks, I’ve never seen so many blocked shots. Three weeks ago, Math had about 15 shots blocked in front of the net and Bob W. wasn’t even there. Last week, they blocked nearly all of Jeff, Paul, Rob, and Brian’s. They knew they didn’t have to block Rich’s because his only shots would surely draw a high stick call, so they actually started passing him the ball.

If the Sky Fighters want this game, they are going to have to plug the middle and block even more shots. Also, they will need another solid goalie if James S. will be out for the day. I hope the Rehabs let any mid- to upper- tier goalie sub in for the Sky Fighters.

Now let’s get to those Rehabs: full of hustle, intensity, amazing wristers, and a captain who is about to forfeit their potential title due to a contractual lien on the PBR Cup. Will they be able to buy a round in time?! I don’t know, but I don’t see why not.

The Rehabs have more than the required ratio to win the PBR. They’ve got Eric R in net. They’ve got so many hunks, you wouldn’t even know what to do with. They’ve also got so many babes that say, “stop talking to me, creep,” that this match will get quite exciting, especially because I may be reffing their game with chief creep, [insert one of three potential creepy BTSH refs here]. Will their girls be able to say that to Sexy Olivier’s face, after they hear his accent?! Will the girls even be affected by the sheerly great male looks of the Sky Fighters? Something tells me no–they’re all about the hockey.

^^^ I was referring to Rich as the creepy one, but if you thought it was Cro or someone else, that works too.

Regardless of whether Roman plays, Greg will be bringing some nasty.

by Isaac

Rematch of last year’s Semifinal in which the upstart Rehabs knocked out the Hopper lead Sky Fighters sending a shock-wave throughout the league. But this year it is the Sky Fighters that are the underdog in this contest and neither will be taking the other lightly.

Olivier and Caroline have done an outstanding job captaining the Fighters this year (an award nominating worthy performance). Their in-season adjustments of moving Greg to defense and having Mia torment goalies Sean Avery style have paid dividends in the playoffs. (Just go ask Fuzz.) If they want to survive this battle, then they’ll need Roman the Destroyer to return IR to assist Alexis with stifling the potent Rehabs’ offense.

The Rebabs on the other hand chose to make adjustments by bringing in outside. They made significant upgrades at key positions at the expense of their captain’s BTSH spirit and soul. With the Showtime narrative of riding back and forth into and from the sunset being all too well known, the ‘Habs traded for the fundamentally sound Ramirez in net. Ensuring each contest wouldn’t end up being a defensive battle they brought back the lethal talents or Ryann and traded in-season for the masculinity of Joey-B and versatility Amber.

X-Factor for Sky Fighters: Scoops always steps up her game in the playoffs. She’s been creeping closer and closer to that sweet spot above the crease and could put one home.

X-Factor for Rehabs: Ramy is wicked fast and always plays like a possessed Wolverine. Last year he split the Sky Fighters defense late in the second half and drilled one up Stein’s five-hole. Will he be able to do it again?

Prediction: the Sky Fighters will keep this one competitive for the most part, but the Rehabs will be moving on to the Finals.

ATTENTION: don’t stray too far from the courts after these two games. The Finals will be played shortly after on the West Court. So grab some snacks, restock on beverages and sharpen your heckling banter because THIS IS IT! The Championship Game for the BTSH PBR Cup!!!

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