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2015 BTSH PBR Cup Championship

Who is in the finals this week?  The New York Yankees, the Toronto Blue Jays, the Pittsburgh Pirates, the LA Dodgers, what about the San Francisco Giants?!  Nope, it’s the fucking Mets REEEHAABBBSSSS!!!! 

The Rehabs, just like the Mets, are fueled by naysayers.  “Rehabs suck, Rehabs suck!”  And guess what—they love it!  Who do you know on the Habs?! 

Terry Collins Bryan Welch? Bartolo Colon Hector Melendez?  Matt Harvey Brad Starr?  Travis D’Arnaud Sena Some Unknown Last Name Defensive Superstar? Daniel Murphy Shawn Kirkham?

Congrats new people. You earned it. I wish these two could join the fun. They earned it too.

Congrats new people. You earned it. I wish these two could join the fun. They earned it too.


Yeah, that’s right—no one with a reasonable mind thought this team would go this far.  And yet, they are killing teams in BTSH and have the opportunity to beat the #1 seed team, Filthier. 

Well, right now, the Mets have lost Game 2 of the World Series—everyone who is not in NYC already knew this was a long time coming, but DID THEY KNOW that there is a team in Tompkins Square Park that finds itself in the same situation, but that there is only one game, with close to a hundred fans, likely in costume, that is far more important than any World Series match?!  No, they did not. 

Sam’s Pick: As much as I have grown attached to the Rehabs over the past couple of weeks—a team of scrappers—it is tough for me to see Filthier falling prey to the boys in black.  Filthier has guns—hired guns (sorry Jenna!)—so it’s hard to imagine nonstop offense from the boys in black and pink.  This raises the most important question of this matchup: who is the home team?  Who is going to have to ditch their main jerseys because it is going to be so confusing to have two dark gray/black teams on the court?  Well, in the Rehabs defense and in a non-sequitur, their defense is stellar, so if they score a few early, it may be the downfall of Filthier.  Of course, if this happens, Filthier will be rebranded and repositioned after acquiring some Fresh Kills as “Filthiest”, as is tradition.

Rich’s Pick: Getting to the BTSH finals, is usually wrought with either gigantic upsets (If you are a team like the Rehabs), or fantastic matchups (if you are a team like Filthier). But honestly, I’m not sure any two teams had an easier run to the finals. The Rehabs beat Karma (17th seed), Math (2nd Division, but no James) and Sky (2nd Division). Meanwhile Filthier beat maybe the Riots or Rainbows, Gremmies and Anklebiters. In other words, neither team had to go through a top division team. Who the hell stole Soko, Eitel, Rubens and Karstan? But you play who you play and if you don’t like it you shoulda been there to beat them. (For the record I don’t like it. I was hoping to play the Dark Rainbows in the finals for not only the BTSH Championship, but also for the Fairy Tale Cup and Bernstein’s girlfriend). But I digress. Filthier was built not to play, but to win this game. They have two stacked lines, a great goalie and a competent but not great defense. The Rehabs have some dudes I don’t know, and a goalie I truly love. I’m a $h0wT!m3 Guy.

The only time I ever wore a non-Elves BTSH shirt. The only time I ever will. (Sorta)

The only time I ever wore a non-Elves BTSH shirt. The only time I ever will. (Sorta)

If I was black, and he was white and he had cancer like Brian Piccolo did, I would make a movie and say, “I love Brian $h0wT!m3 Piccolo.” Oh why bother, none of you saw that movie besides maybe Coach, Craig, Dave de wishehwasasgoodasGIL Rubio, and of course Rob Walsh.

Brian's Song. One of the few movies men are legally allowed to cry.

Brian’s Song. One of the few movies men are legally allowed to cry.

Since 2007, the BTSH Gods have been very generous to the Cinderella teams. $h0wT!m3, get your championship. You deserve it brother. 3-2 in OT. Black Rob with the wrestling winner.

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