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2012 Season Preview ā€“ Fresh Kills

Color:Ā Royal Blue
Year Founded:Ā 
2002
2011 Regular Season
Finish:Ā 11-4-2 (1st, Hackett Division; 3rd overall)
2011 Playoff Result:Ā 
Beat What the Puck to Win Championship
Conference:Ā 
Tagliarino
Division:Ā 
Bratta
Team Song:Ā Fresh – Kool & the Gang

by ORG Editor Emeritus Eli Kazin

When Fresh Kills won the 2008 BTSH championship, “Hollywood” Jeff Lesser, a former team captain and longtime league member, decided to retire as a champion.Ā  So when captain Dave Sokolyansky alerted the media to an off-season press conference regarding a major personnel announcement, much of the speculation centered on whether former team captain and longtime league member, Kevin “The Planet” Foster, would execute a move similar to Lesser.Ā  However, the assembled media were stunned when Scott Lee appeared on the dais with Sokolyansky to announce his retirement as a full-time BTSH player.

For those who may have missed it, the full text of Lee’s brief statement read as follows: I am truly sorry to my legion of fans, but after two thrilling but strenuous seasons in BTSH, I am no longer a full-time player.Ā  My passion for a weekly recreational league has waned substantially since I first joined BTSH back in 2010.Ā  Now that I have my degree from university and I am starting my professional career, I have decided to prioritize my activities.Ā  Regretfully, another full season with Fresh Kills is just not in the cards.Ā  Once again, I am truly sorry.

Despite the loss of Lee, Fresh Kills is well positioned to once again sit amongst the league’s premier teams.Ā  Foster, who scored the game-winning goal in the 2011 championship game against What The Puck, is returning, and despite his overwhelmingly sensitive nature, he is focused on winning another championship.Ā  It is rumored that Foster also came back for another season in order to reclaim the title of “Hardest Shot in BTSH” from current champion David Kenneth Fraser (Denim Demons) at the league’s annual Skills Competition.Ā  Sokolyansky has also quietly built a deep rotation of female players, including Alice Bertoni, the only league member to win two championships in the past three seasons, and Ashley Singer, who in her rookie season put forth a playoff performance reminiscent of Esa Tikkanen, with goals in both the quarterfinals and semifinals.

Another reason for optimism from the Fresh Kills camp this season is the highly anticipated return of Justin “The Boss” Ross, a 2010 All-Rookie selection, from a lower-body injury.Ā  Ross led the team with 12 goals in 2010, and was on his way to repeating this feat in 2011 with five goals through seven games.Ā  However, during a Week 9 contest versus the Sky Fighters, an unbalanced Lee lost his footing and crashed into an unsuspecting Ross on the sideline, ending Ross’ season prematurely.Ā  Sokolyansky was quick to praise Ross, noting, “Getting Justin back this year will really improve our offense.Ā  His presence was greatly missed during the second half of the regular season and the playoffs.”Ā  Nick Hobbs, Ross’ linemate, agreed with his captain’s sentiments, adding, “My assists dropped dramatically without Justin on my wing.”

Of course, Fresh Kills would not be anywhere without its last line of defense, goaltender Patrick Barch.Ā  While his 2010 All-Rookie season was a tough act to follow, Barch put forth an even better performance in 2011, finishing fourth in the league with a 1.60 goals against average.Ā  In the playoffs, Barch stepped up his game even more, allowing just five goals in four games.

Last year, Sokolyansky’s deep squad surprised the skeptics, and every straw poll voter except for Sky Fighters goalie James Stein, by winning the extremely competitive Hackett Division.Ā  A third consecutive division title is certainly within reach for the defending champions, but Sokolyansky and company have their sights set on a bigger goal, as another championship would be the team’s third in five seasons, and certainly begin talk of a dynasty.

Entity They Most Resemble (According to Rich Glanzer)

Entity:Ā Elly Manning. Truth be told, this was the easiest one. 2008 was my first season and everyone told me the Hookers were going to win, so when Fresh Kills won, I thought it was a fluke. They made it to the semi’s in 2009, surprising me, but I knew WTP would kill them. In 2010 I nearly jumped for joy when I found out I was playing them in the QF’s. See, much like the debate with Elly Manning, I did not think Fresh Kills were elite. But after the first period where we dominated and were only up 1-0, I knew we were in trouble. FK scored two goals and deLacey was standing on his head when the great Eric DiPieri used our timeout without my permission to stop the bleeding. It worked, the play evened out but we were down by a goal and out of timeouts. Luckily, Kevin Foster miraculously called a timeout with a minute left for some un-Godly reason and we set up a play, tied the game and won in OT. After the game I realized, man was I wrong about these guys. They are legit.

But going into last season, I still didn’t think they were as good as WTP, or the Hookers. However much like the Giants this year, as the season went on, I knew I was wrong. Manning and Fresh Kills aren’t legit, they are elite. Two championships in four seasons, with one other semi-finalĀ appearance…this is BTSH’s premier team. I exclude the Elves in all of these, so my pick to win the championship is going to be the Hookers. But I cant really exclude the Elves entirely, because I think we are going to face FK in the QF’s and eliminate them 4-2.Ā 
Fun Fact: 95% of these are lies, this is not. I was told by a very reliable yet unnamed source who has shaggy hair and hails from Chicago and likes Patrick Kane, that Dave Soko wanted to buy rings after winning the championship. Even I’m not that crazy.
Fun Fact 2: Steph Opitz has forged my signature.
Fun Fact 3: As you all know I’ve impressed very few people in BTSH. Count Patrick Barch as the exception. I beat him 4-0 at Bubble Hockey and he was shocked.
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