The There Stars of Week 14
By Rachel
THIRD STAR
Chuck of the Biters
That’s him, to the RIGHT of Cheekbones.
This long time stalwart ankle-biter finally has his day of glory. We in the media are guilty of focusing too much on Phil’s epic Johnson’s Olympics, Princess Joe’s frequent injuries and Diana’s Cheekbones. But Chuck has been consistently grinding away for years and has one hell of a shot. Anyone at the courts Sunday saw Chuck score two of the three regulation goals for the biters and then snipe the crap out of the Rainbow’s goalie in the shootout.
SECOND STAR
Mega Touch, featuring Mike Tuckman
Mick Tuckman, he’s a regular Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.
Mega Touch, this Hi-Fi division darling who probably hasn’t had a winning season since….ever? In Sunday’s heat they out-hustled the Hookers with a strong message, “Make BTSH Great Again.” In a league that is trending towards getting more competitive every year, Mega still takes players who don’t know how to hold a stick, and are winning.! Also, TUCKMAN?!?!?! Two shutouts in a row! He made Danillo look like…well, someone who can’t score.
FIRST STAR
Jimmy Kinney
Look at that perfect example of waist high stick rule.
Does he get a star because it’s so much fun to say Jimmy Kinney? Maybe. But also maybe because he scored five goals in one game. Three of those on his backhand. Can I make up another fun word to say? back-trick? Not sure if you read this kid’s rookie profile last week, but he’s making good on his word. Ben Probert, your puppy is coming for you.
Honorable Mentions:
The Website
Thanks for finally giving us division names. Special thanks to Mike Mincielli for the genius idea. Double special thanks to whoever gave us the Johnson’s division.
Aaron Friedman
For nominating the guy who beat his team in an OT shootout. Classy.
Tim Burke
Dude played TWO games in net yesterday. It was like a bajillion degrees and he stood in the net wearing goalie gear for TWO HOURS. Also, he won both games. Atta boy, Timmy.