Tag Archive for 'what the puck'

Week 9 News and Notes

Will Hurricane Sharif Hit NYC On August 1?

Although Summer has just begun, the BTSH calendar is rapidly filling up with special events and social festivities. Here is a look at what is upcoming:

August 1Old Timers’ Game.  To commemorate BTSH’s 10-year anniversary, Randy Locklair of the Butchers is organizing an Old Timers’ Game.  The game will feature long-standing veterans of the league, as well as a few retired players.  Although none of the retired players have been confirmed as of yet, some of Randy’s targets include “Hollywood” Jeff Lesser, Sharif “The Chocolate Buzzsaw” Corinaldi, Brendan “Flounder” Hay, Molly Jacobs, Peter “Ski” Oblamski, and Jeremy “The Foot” Schumacher.

August 8Farewell to Corlears & Johnsons Olympics.  BTSH will return to Corlears Hook Park for one last hurrah before NYC converts it to a turf field.  Relive some memories as you experience for the last time the joys of the heckle wall, peeing alongside the FDR, and celebrating a goal on the bird bath.  After the games, head on over to Welcome to the Johnsons, where Phil “Sandy” Donohue (GA) and bartender Brent Smith will once again host the Johnsons Olympics.  Just make sure you don’t accept any cupcakes from Minkus while there.

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Week 8 Box Scores

Rod Has A Big Tongue

What The Puck 2, Happy Little Elves 1
What The Puck: Tom MacDonald 2 (4)
Happy Little Elves: Jenna Cruff (1)
Game Notes: MacDonald’s game-winning goal broke a 1-1 tie with ten minutes remaining in regulation.

Denim Demons 2, Filthy Gorgeous 1 (OT)
Denim Demons: Mike Pereira (6), Bob DiProspero (4)
Filthy Gorgeous: Joe Pereira (2)
Game Notes: Mike Pereira scored the game-winning goal in overtime.

Mathematics 3, Mega Touch 2
Mathematics: Bradley Schmidt 2 (4), Justin “Ballard” Perras (1)
Mega Touch: Jonathan Hanson (2), Harvey Jaswal (1)

Cobra Kai 5, Fresh Kills 2
Cobra Kai: Mark Talercio (5), Scott Rice (3), Rem “Canadian Strongman” Garavito (2), Bryan Niddrie (2), Luisa Mirarchi (1)
Fresh Kills: Dave Sokolyansky (4), Nick Hobbs (2)

Sky Fighters 5, LBS, Inc. 2
Sky Fighters: Mark Bloom 2 (3), David Cernan 2 (2), Alice DuBois (1)
LBS, Inc.: “The Alpha Male” Ken Poulin 2 (6)

Tompkins Square Riots 5, Gut Rot 1
Tompkins Square Riots: Alexandre Frenette 3 (4), Patrick Blohmé 2 (5)
Gut Rot: Tom (1)

Dark Rainbows 3, Corlears Hookers 2
Dark Rainbows: John Nielsen 2 (8), Trevor “White Jesus” Tyrrell (1)
Corlears Hookers: Josh “Doc” Sadlier-Brown (2), Noelle “Slapshot” Safar (2)

Rehabs 3, Butchers 1
Rehabs: “Con” Ed Lau 2 (2), Alex Doucette (6)
Butchers: Gary Cohen (2)

Poutine Machine at Unicorns (PPD)
Game Notes: Game postponed due to “rain fears.”

La Famiglia at Gouging Anklebiters (PPD)
Game Notes: Game postponed due to “rain fears.”

Week 8 Preview

Can The Elves Upset What The Puck Once Again?

GAME OF THE WEEK
What The Puck (5-0) at Happy Little Elves (4-1-0-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 1-1
Game Notes: High-octane offenses will collide, as the top two scoring teams in BTSH face off in a Weyersberg Conference showdown this Sunday.  What The Puck has lit the lamp an impressive 28 times this season, good for second most in the league.  However, with one fewer game played than a majority of the league, Larry’s Orange Juggernaut ranks first in per game scoring.  Salvatore Malguarnera, Jr. and Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer lead a balanced attack with six and five goals, respectively.  The Happy Little Elves lead all of BTSH with an astounding 31 tallies through six games.  Rookie Trevor Beauclair has quickly made his presence known with his team-leading eight goals, which also ranks him second in the league.  Even more stunning are the six goals from Elves captain “The Chairman” Ben Chadwick.  With both teams averaging more than five goals per game, expect a lot of offense in this brightly colored battle.
Keys To The Game:
1. As a by-product of their prolific scoring, What The Puck and the Elves are also ranked one and two in goal differential.  However, WTP’s defense and goaltending have been stingier, as it has allowed the second fewest goals in the league, even on a per game basis.
2. The Happy Little Elves stunned the league in Week 22 of the 2009 season with a 7-1 thrashing of What The Puck at Moffo.  This outcome prevented What The Puck from clinching the coveted Prince of Weyersberg Trophy.  The win, however, did not help the Elves to gain possession of the prestigious (yet imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup.
3. Unhappy with recent acquisition Jeremy Roenick crying on national television, What The Puck captain Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer has exercised his option to rescind last week’s trade that saw Corey “Chongo” Winters go to the Winnipeg Jets.  Winters will take over Roenick’s place on the third line with grizzled veteran Tom MacDonald and Lisa Harrington.
Eli’s Pick: What The Puck.  They’ve scored at least five goals in each game, and I don’t see the Elves getting six or more here.
Derek’s Pick: What The Puck.  The normally carefree What The Puck players will have revenge on their minds.
Watchability: 4 Beauclairs.  Roderick “Guy LeDouche” Cruz’s wild antics and unorthodox goaltending style are worth a Beauclair on their own.

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Week 1 News and Notes

Anklebiters Under Investigation

BREAKING NEWS – BTSH.org has just been notified that the league’s new Disciplinary Committee manager, Haanwa Chau, has launched a formal investigation regarding potential hazing violations committed by the Gouging Anklebiters. Although it is suspected that these infractions have actually gone on for several years, it seems the former DC manager, Jeremy “The Foot” Schumacher, never pursued any complaints. Part of Chau’s investigation will thus include a review of whether Schumacher himself has or had any ties to these allegations as well.

Several witnesses have testified that they saw two Anklebiter rookies, as well as one veteran, in Parkside Lounge on Friday sporting embarrassing and demeaning costumes that the senior members of the team forced them to wear.  Despite these personal accounts, team captain Phil “Sandy” Donohue remains adamant in his stance that his team has done no wrong.  He comments, “I fully anticipate that upon completion of this investigation, we will be absolved of all charges.” Your humble correspondants will continue to track this story as it unfolds.

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Week 1 Box Scores

What The Puck Can’t Think Of A Good Caption Either

What The Puck 5, Sky Fighters 1
What The Puck: Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta (1), Darrell “Accurate Bob” Hartman (1), Salvatore Malguarnera, Jr. (1), Corey “Chongo” Winters (1), Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer (1)
Sky Fighters: Greg Infanti (1)

Corlears Hookers 5, LBS, Inc. 3
Corlears Hookers: Gavin “Dutch’s Brother” Kearney (1), Peter “Purple Rain” Putka (1), Josh “Doc” Sadlier-Brown (1), Noelle “Slapshot” Safar (1), Dan Thompson (1)
LBS, Inc.: Sam Anthony (1), Erica Lee (1), Karsten Pichon (1)

Rehabs 4, Happy Little Elves 3 (OT)
Rehabs: Lateef Nurmohamed 2 (2), Alex Doucette (1), Tom Houston (1)
Happy Little Elves: Garrett “Ax” Carrino (1), Ryan Nakahara (1), Gil Valdez (1)
Game Notes: Carrino scored the tying goal with one minute remaining in regulation, just two minutes after Houston scored to give the Rehabs a one-goal lead.  Nurmohamed scored the game-winning goal in overtime.

Denim Demons 5, Filthy Gorgeous 1
Denim Demons: Mike Pereira 3 (3), Bob DiProspero (1), Zack Tinkelman (1)
Filthy Gorgeous: Sunny Mehra (1)
Game Notes: Tinkelman scored the first goal of the 2010 season.

Tompkins Square Riots 2, Butchers 1
Tompkins Square Riots: Patrik Blohmé (1), Grant Mason (1)
Butchers: Rob Neilson (1)
Game Notes: Blohmé gave the Riots a two-goal lead with two minutes remaining in regulation. Neilson scored for the Butchers one minute later, but they were unable to complete the comeback.

Cobra Kai 3, La Famiglia 1
Cobra Kai: Will Kuhns 2 (2), Mark Talercio (1)
La Famiglia: Roger Ma (1)
Game Notes: Kuhns’ game-winning goal broke a 1-1 tie with 11 minutes remaining in regulation.

Poutine Machine 2, Mathematics 1 (OT-SO)
Poutine Machine: Salman Haq (1)
Mathematics: Bradley Schmidt (1)
Shootout: Poutine Machine wins 1-0.  Successful attempt by Salman Haq.

Mega Touch 5, Gut Rot 2
Mega Touch: Joe Lops 2 (2), Eric Devlin (1), Jonathan Hanson (1), Brett Oppedisano (1)
Gut Rot: Christopher (1), Tommy (1)

Unicorns 4, Dark Rainbows 0
Unicorns: Joe (1), John (1), Mark (1), Sara (1)
Shutout: Craig “Ug” LaCombe (1)

Fresh Kills 6, Gouging Anklebiters 0
Fresh Kills: Justin Ross 2 (2), Nick Hobbs (1), Brice Rosenbloom (1), Dave Sokolyansky (1), Mike Sokolyansky (1)
Shutout: Patrick Barch (1)