btsh.org

Josh Wilson Lurks In The Shadows

GAME OF THE WEEK
Fresh Kills (6-2-0-1) at Dark Rainbows (5-2-0-2)
Location: Tompkins East, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: Dark Rainbows lead 6-3
Game Notes: Division leaders collide as Fresh Kills and the Dark Rainbows face off for the first time since their opening round contest in the 2009 playoffs.  Fresh Kills has ascended to the top of the Donohue Division thanks to the stellar play of its youth, something the team has not possessed in the past.  Rookie forward Justin Ross has overshadowed his veteran teammates with seven goals and has scored in four of his last five games.  Fellow rookie, goaltender Patrick Barch leads the league in shutouts with three and has been the backbone of a defense that has allowed the fewest goals in BTSH.  The Dark Rainbows, after a disappointing 0-2 start, have climbed to a share of the Hackett Division lead with no regulation losses in their last seven games.  John Nielsen is tied for fifth in the league scoring race with eight goals, including a stretch of five consecutive games with at least one.  With each team fighting for supremacy in its respective division, can the veteran experience of the Rainbows win out over the relative youth of Fresh Kills?
Keys To The Game:
1. Fresh Kills captain Dave Sokolyansky and his brother Mike are not twins.  Despite this fact, however, they have both scored four goals this season, and they also wear matching shirts for each game.
2. The Dark Rainbows are still on a high from capturing the prestigious (yet imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup for the first time in franchise history.  They hope to carry the momentum over into this game, despite a three-week layoff.
3. In their last meeting, during the 2009 playoffs, the 11th seed Fresh Kills upset the 6th seed Dark Rainbows 3-1.  However, a lot has changed for Fresh Kills since then, as one of their three goal scorers, as well as their starting goalie for that game now play for the Tompkins Square Riots.
Eli’s Pick: Fresh Kills.  I can’t pick against a sensitive guy like Kevin “The Planet” Foster.
Derek’s Pick: Dark Rainbows.  They seem to have shaken the early season rust and are in prime position for another solid run.
Watchability: 4 Sokolyanskies.  It should be noted that this rating scale is named after Mike, and not Dave.

Continue reading ‘Week 11 Preview’

Who Doesn’t Enjoy A Good Popsicle?

GAME OF THE WEEK
Denim Demons (7-1) at Corlears Hookers (5-2)
Location: Tompkins West, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Corlears Hookers lead 3-1
Game Notes: In the short time since the establishment of the Corlears Hookers in 2007, the Denim Demons have become one of their fiercest opponents.  The rivalry took off in 2008 when the Demons became the first team to hand the Hookers a loss at Moffo.  In 2009, the animosity intensified even further when league scheduler Jeremy “The Foot” Schumacher assigned both teams to the same division (later named the Rubens), forcing them to face off twice in the regular season.  The Hookers took the first of these games in Week 2, when they squeezed past the Demons with a 3-2 win in a shootout.  In Week 19, the Hookers completed the season sweep with a 4-1 win.  However, the Fightin’ Rubens had the last laugh, as they ultimately won the Rubens Division title and were the top seed in the playoffs.  With both the Denim Demons and Corlears Hookers once again in the Rubens Division, they will duel twice more this season, with the second matchup taking place on September 26.  As this rivalry opens a new chapter in its history, expect an intense game from both sides.
Keys To The Game:
1. After a string of four successive one-goal victories, the Demons won another close game last Sunday, 4-2 against Mega Touch. Their ability to come through in high-pressure situations will only serve them well against the veteran and talented Hookers.
2. Due to excessive absences and freak injuries, Jason Eitel has been a very small part of the Hookers’ offense this season.  However, proud parent of Dutch’s niece, Gavin “Dutch’s Brother” Kearney has picked up the slack and leads the team with eight goals.
3. Congratulations to Denim Demon Steve Chernoski, who will be tying the knot on Saturday. Although he is happy to have several of his teammates in attendance for this joyous occasion, he may be in for an unexpected surprise. Unfortunately, when Chernoski requested to have “Rubens’ Rock” at the wedding, the DJ misunderstood him and will thus be playing only Steely Dan.
Eli’s Pick: Corlears Hookers.  I’m not quite sure what the state of the Demons will be after an intense night of partying.
Derek’s Pick: Denim Demons.  An intense game in the summer heat goes to the team with the deeper bench.
Watchability: 5 Chernoskis.  May your first child be a masculine child.

Continue reading ‘Week 10 Preview’

Sven Is In No Mood To Deal With Bob Again

GAME OF THE WEEK
Poutine Machine (3-3) at Tompkins Square Riots (4-3)
Location: Tompkins East, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tompkins Square Riots lead 1-0
Game Notes: The top two teams in the MacNeil Division face off for the second time this season on Sunday.  In the first meeting between Poutine Machine and the Tompkins Square Riots, the Riots blanked the Machine 5-0.  Five different players scored a goal, while Dave Gil de Rubio recorded his only shutout of the season.  However, Poutine captain Patrick “Sven” Larsen did not let the loss destroy his squad’s spirits.  Since then, the team has split four games to stay within striking distance of the division lead.  With a win on Sunday, Poutine Machine would split the season series with the Riots, but more important, move into a tie for first in the division.
Keys To The Game:
1. Poutine Machine currently ranks last in BTSH with only eight goals and has already been shutout twice this season (including Week 2 against the Riots).  In order to win, Sven and Company will need to rediscover the offense they exhibited in Week 3, when they defeated Gut Rot 4-3.
2. Patrik Blohmé and Alexandre Frenette have combined to account for half of the Riots’ goals this season.  One league member remarked last week that this Swedish-Canadian combo is reminiscent of Peter Forsberg and Joe Sakic when they led the Avalanche to two Stanley Cup championships.
3. Poutine Machine’s Kevin MacDonald has an unusual way of getting amped prior to every game.  He eats a complete breakfast, begins stretching 20 minutes before the opening whistle, and listens to rock songs on his iPod.
Eli’s Pick: Tompkins Square Riots.  This game will be closer than their first matchup, but in the end, the Riots sweep the season series.
Derek’s Pick: No pick.  Derek will be reffing this game.
Watchability: 3.5 Blohmés.  Both of these new teams are still trying to establish a name for themselves.

Continue reading ‘Week 9 Preview’

Can The Elves Upset What The Puck Once Again?

GAME OF THE WEEK
What The Puck (5-0) at Happy Little Elves (4-1-0-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 1-1
Game Notes: High-octane offenses will collide, as the top two scoring teams in BTSH face off in a Weyersberg Conference showdown this Sunday.  What The Puck has lit the lamp an impressive 28 times this season, good for second most in the league.  However, with one fewer game played than a majority of the league, Larry’s Orange Juggernaut ranks first in per game scoring.  Salvatore Malguarnera, Jr. and Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer lead a balanced attack with six and five goals, respectively.  The Happy Little Elves lead all of BTSH with an astounding 31 tallies through six games.  Rookie Trevor Beauclair has quickly made his presence known with his team-leading eight goals, which also ranks him second in the league.  Even more stunning are the six goals from Elves captain “The Chairman” Ben Chadwick.  With both teams averaging more than five goals per game, expect a lot of offense in this brightly colored battle.
Keys To The Game:
1. As a by-product of their prolific scoring, What The Puck and the Elves are also ranked one and two in goal differential.  However, WTP’s defense and goaltending have been stingier, as it has allowed the second fewest goals in the league, even on a per game basis.
2. The Happy Little Elves stunned the league in Week 22 of the 2009 season with a 7-1 thrashing of What The Puck at Moffo.  This outcome prevented What The Puck from clinching the coveted Prince of Weyersberg Trophy.  The win, however, did not help the Elves to gain possession of the prestigious (yet imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup.
3. Unhappy with recent acquisition Jeremy Roenick crying on national television, What The Puck captain Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer has exercised his option to rescind last week’s trade that saw Corey “Chongo” Winters go to the Winnipeg Jets.  Winters will take over Roenick’s place on the third line with grizzled veteran Tom MacDonald and Lisa Harrington.
Eli’s Pick: What The Puck.  They’ve scored at least five goals in each game, and I don’t see the Elves getting six or more here.
Derek’s Pick: What The Puck.  The normally carefree What The Puck players will have revenge on their minds.
Watchability: 4 Beauclairs.  Roderick “Guy LeDouche” Cruz’s wild antics and unorthodox goaltending style are worth a Beauclair on their own.

Continue reading ‘Week 8 Preview’

Chuck Has A Lot On His Mind

GAME OF THE WEEK
Gouging Anklebiters (4-1) at Denim Demons (4-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 5-5-1
Game Notes: Upon hearing that the media would promote his matchup against the Denim Demons as the Game of the Week, the normally reserved Charles DeFranco of the Gouging Anklebiters went off on one of his now infamous rants about his opponents:

Adam is a legend only in his own mind, Abby has too much dirty laundry, Steve is a Devils fan, Lena hates puppies, Jeff is out of the country, Zack’s dad always gets in the way, Gabby wears too much red, Emily doesn’t wear enough red, Brad is not sexy, Aaron can’t play the drums, Tara sings off key, Danny’s cooking sucks, Bob disgusts me, Lauren is an elitist, Miranda isn’t civic-minded, Mike only plays for personal stats, Dave needs a shower, Connie drives too slowly, Bill is not a sweetie, Val cried during Baseketball,  Dez is frequently truant, Noah chews with his mouth open, and Sara has never watched The A-Team.  As for Jim, there’s nothing bad I can say about him.

When reached for comment, Denim Demons captain Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens was reportedly not pleased with DeFranco’s remarks.  However, teammate “Hacksaw” Jim Dandeneau was elated.
Keys To The Game:
1. Since vicious hazing allegations against the Gouging Anklebiters were made public prior to Week 2, the team has reeled off four consecutive victories, including a seven-goal output against Cobra Kai.
2. Despite the absence of last season’s team scoring leader, Jeff Kamen, the Denim Demons have had no trouble finding the back of the net this year.  They are third in the league with 19 goals, a league-leading seven of which are from forward Zack Tinkelman.
3. Denim Demon newcomer Bob DiProspero is quickly making a case for himself to be the Little Chernoski Demon Achiever for top rookie on the team.  He has already scored three goals this season and also tallied a shootout goal against the arch-rival Rehabs.
Eli’s Pick: No pick.  Eli will be reffing this game.
Derek’s Pick: Denim Demons.  Rubens is clearly incensed by DeFranco’s comments and has vowed to kill the legend of his trash-talking.
Watchability: 4 Derhohannesians.  With both teams on hot streaks, neither will want to lose any momentum.

Continue reading ‘Week 7 Preview’