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Looks Like The Jets Are Going To Beat The Raiders

Denim Demons (15-2-2-4) vs. Rehabs (12-7-1-3)
Location: Tompkins East, 12:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 6-6-1
Game Notes: This is expected to be the cleanest game of the day, with minimal whining from both sides.

Mathematics (5-14-1-3) vs. Filthy Gorgeous (16-6-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 11:00 AM
All-Time Series: Filthy Gorgeous leads 4-2
Game Notes: Filthy Gorgeous is 2-0 against its Woodsworth Division rival the Mathematics this season, with one of the wins coming in OT.

Mighty Squirrels (7-15-1) vs. Gouging Anklebiters (8-13-2)
Location: Tompkins West, 12:00 PM
All-Time Series: Mighty Squirrels lead 5-2-1
Game Notes: These Schloeder Division rivals split their season series.

Unicorns (11-11-0-1) vs. Cobra Kai (5-14-1-2)
Location: Moffo, 12:00 PM
All-Time Series: Unicorns lead 5-0
Game Notes: There are no game notes for this matchup.

LBS, Inc. (16-4-0-1) vs. Happy Little Elves (10-12-1)
Location: Moffo, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: LBS, Inc. leads 2-0
Game Notes: BFFs Rich Glanzer and Karsten Pichon will face off for the first time since patching up their differences earlier this season.

Mexican Standoff (5-16-1-1) vs. Mega Touch (5-17-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: Mega Touch leads 7-6-1
Game Notes: Something wacky is planned for this game.

Tuques (7-14-0-1) vs. Dark Rainbows (15-7-0-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: Dark Rainbows lead 5-1
Game Notes: Dark Rainbow Dan “Danny Abs” Abdo will make one final push to win the Jon “Dinner Plate” Feldman Award for Agitation and Instigation in this game.

Corlears Hookers (16-4-1-2) vs. BTSH “All-Stars”
Location: Tompkins East, 2:00 PM
Game Notes: With 15 teams eliminated from the playoffs, the Corlears Hookers are the odd team out and will face a loose conglomeration of BTSH “All-Stars”.  These ”All-Stars” will probably be the Rehabs.

“Don’t Tell Bob, Our Game Time Has Changed”

Due to rain fears, the games of October 18 will made up this Sunday, October 25. Although the matchups remain the same, some of the times and locations have changed. Please see below.

#1 Denim Demons (15-2-2-3) vs. #11 Fresh Kills (10-10-1-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 12:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 5-5

#4 Corlears Hookers (15-3-1-2) vs. #5 Filthy Gorgeous (16-5-1)
Location: Corlears West, 12:00 PM
All-Time Series: Corlears Hookers lead 4-0

#2 What The Puck (17-5) vs. #8 Rehabs (12-6-1-3)
Location: Tompkins East, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: What The Puck leads 9-5

#3 LBS, Inc. (16-4-0-1) vs. #7 Sky Fighters (15-7)
Location: Tompkins West, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: LBS, Inc. leads 8-3

Cobra Kai (5-14-1-2) vs. Tuques (7-14-0-1)
Location: Moffo, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 2-2

Unicorns (10-12) vs. Gouging Anklebiters (8-12-2)
Location: Tompkins East, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Unicorns lead 6-4-1

Mathematics (4-14-1-3) vs. Mighty Squirrels (7-14-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Mathematics lead 4-1

Dark Rainbows (14-7-0-1) vs. Happy Little Elves (10-11-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 3:30 PM
All-Time Series: Dark Rainbows lead 2-0

Mega Touch (5-16-1) vs. Mexican Standoff (4-16-1-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 3:30 PM
All-Time Series: Mega Touch leads 7-5-1

Semifinal #1
Location: Tompkins East, 4:30 PM
Pending advancing captains’ agreement

Semifinal #2
Location: Tompkins West, 4:30 PM
Pending advancing captains’ agreement

Tuques hockey.

Cobra Kai (5-14-1-2) vs. Tuques (7-14-0-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 2-2
Game Notes: Cobra Kai still has to produce a commercial in praise of the Tuques.

Unicorns (10-12) vs. Gouging Anklebiters (8-12-2)
Location: Tompkins West, 12:00 PM
All-Time Series: Unicorns lead 6-4-1
Game Notes: Charles DeFranco has nothing to say about the Unicorns…possibly because he doesn’t know who any of them are.

Mega Touch (5-16-1) vs. Mexican Standoff (4-16-1-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Mega Touch leads 7-5-1
Game Notes: This matchup features the two teams that lost in the play-in games last week.

Mathematics (4-14-1-3) vs. Mighty Squirrels (7-14-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Mathematics lead 4-1
Game Notes: These two rivals are making up a game that was postponed due to rain fears from week 21.

Dark Rainbows (14-7-0-1) vs. Happy Little Elves (10-11-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 3:30 PM
All-Time Series: Dark Rainbows lead 2-0
Game Notes: This game will NOT count towards the prestigious (yet imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup.

We Just Used Up Our One Good Unicorns Photo

GAME OF THE WEEK
Unicorns (10-9) vs. Sky Fighters (13-7)
Location: Tompkins West, 3:30 PM
All-Time Series: Unicorns lead 5-3-1
Game Notes: The Sky Fighters enter their matchup with the Unicorns playing some of their best hockey of the season.  They have won five of their last six games, including victories over the Corlears Hookers and Filthy Goregous.  It comes as no suprise that Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka has led the team with six goals during this span, bringing his total to 20 for the season.  Unlike the Sky Fighters, the Unicorns enter this game on a bit of a skid.  They have lost their last two contests to LBS, Inc. and Mega Touch, scoring just one goal in each game.  In fact, their offense has scored only 37 goals on the season, ranking it 17th in BTSH.  However, their defense and goaltending have been solid enough throughout the year to keep nearly all of the team’s games close.  The Unicorns have already taken down What The Puck and the Corlears Hookers, and they will look to add the Sky Fighters to this list of impressive victims.
Keys To The Game:
1. The Sky Fighters are currently ranked seventh, but a win could move them as high as fifth.  However, a loss could drop them to eighth.
2. The Unicorns are currently ranked ninth and cannot improve their seeding, even with wins in this game and their earlier matchup against the Denim Demons.  However, they can fall as low as the 11th seed.
3. The Unicorns’ Susannah currently has three goals on the season, which is two more than Rich Glanzer of the Happy Little Elves.  Unless something dramatic happens, it appears she will win the right to call herself the “bigger fairy”, as per the terms of an extremely stupid mid-season bet between the two.
Eli’s Pick: Sky Fighters.  Ironically, a win here could result in them playing the Unicorns again in the opening round of the playoffs.
Derek’s Pick: Sky Fighters.  Even with this win, the Sky Fighters would fall a little short of captain Dan Hopper’s pre-season prediction for a record of 21 wins and -4 losses.
Watchability: 3.5 Cejkas

Continue reading ‘Week 22 Preview’

Stork Has Finally Passed The Torch

GAME OF THE WEEK
Fresh Kills (9-8-0-1) vs. Rehabs (11-5-0-3)
Location: Tompkins West, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Rehabs lead 5-4
Game Notes: Both of these Rubens Division foes enter this tilt playing some of their best hockey of the season.  Fresh Kills has now won its last four games and finally has a record above .500.  The recent surge started with an upset victory over LBS, Inc., when Fresh Kills held the league’s fourth ranked offense to just three goals.  In the three games since, the defense has stiffened up even more, as the team allowed just two goals (including two shutouts).  The Rehabs have won five of their last six games.  It is no coincidence that their recent run of good fortune began when they added free agent Adam Skuse to the team.  He has scored all nine of his goals during this six-game stretch, making him the team leader in goals.  The Rehabs opened their season with a 4-1 win over Fresh Kills, a feat they will look to duplicate as the season winds down.
Keys To The Game:
1. Dave Sokolyansky leads Fresh Kills with 12 goals.  His brother, Mike, is also on the team and has assisted on all of Dave’s goals.  However, he has repeatedly declined to be recognized, due to his modest nature and acute shyness.
2. During one of Alex “Villano VI” Zabala’s two goals last week, Rehab defender Stacy Kehoe ran to congratulate her teammate but tripped over a crack in the Tompkins pavement.  This instantly elevated the celebration to the status of “saddest ever in BTSH.”
3. Rehab forward Rob Blandi has scored six goals in the team’s last six games.  Interestingly, the only time he did not score during this stretch was in their one loss.
Eli’s Pick: Rehabs.  A win will be a nice belated birthday present for captain Meredith “Danberg” Ficarelli.
Derek’s Pick: Rehabs.  Another big game for Skuse will lead the team to victory.
Watchability: 4.5 Lessers

Continue reading ‘Week 21 Preview’