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BREAKING: Commish Caught Cheating In 2009!

GAME OF THE WEEK
Sky Fighters (8-3-2-2) at What The Puck (8-5-1-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 3:30 PM
All-Time Series: Sky Fighters lead 8-3
Game Notes: Playoff seeding implications are on the line as these Hackett Division foes face off for the second time this season. When the Sky Fighters and What The Puck met in Week 14, the Fighters prevailed with a solid–though somewhat forgettable–3-1 victory. Since then, however, they have hit a skid, losing to the Happy Little Elves and the Dark Rainbows. The slump has greatly reduced the team’s chances at the division title and with it, the all-important second seed in the playoffs. What The Puck is in even worse shape. The team tied the Rehabs last week, which halted a four-game losing streak. This summer swoon, along with the team’s 0-4-0-1 record in Hackett Division games, has officially eliminated WTP from the division race. However, strong out of division play earlier in the season has provided a cushion to soften the recent fall, and Larry’s Orange Juggernaut sits squarely in the middle of the rather large BTSH bell curve. With two weeks remaining before the playoffs start, both the Sky Fighters and What The Puck will be looking to reverse their recent trends.
Keys To The Game:
1. As one of the few Sky Fighters to exhibit regular attendance, captain Dan Hopper has shouldered much of the offensive load himself. After scoring twice last week against the Dark Rainbows, Hopper is now tied for fifth in the league with 12 goals.
2. After dealing with a revolving door of goaltenders throughout the season, What The Puck has finally regained some stability between the pipes, as offseason acquisition Anthony Romeo is back to close out the season. Although it remains to be seen if this will result in more wins, at the very least, WTP will now have a definitive count on how many saves their goalie makes each game.
3. We haven’t seen Brock in a really long time, and we’re extremely concerned. He’s little.
Eli’s Pick: What The Puck.  Wait, it’s technically still summer?  Crap.
Derek’s Pick: Sky Fighters.  Martin has returned to the States after teaching another generation of Czechs how to play 50 minutes a game.
Watchability: 4 Watkinsons.  Just two points separate these evenly matched teams in the standings.

Continue reading ‘Week 18 Preview’

A Draaaaawwwww!

Sky Fighters 1, Fresh Kills 1 (OT-SO)
Sky Fighters: Dan Hopper (7)
Fresh Kills: Scott Lee (3)
Shootout: Tied 1-1.  Successful attempts by Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka (SKY) and Ariel Imas (FK).

What The Puck 1, Corlears Hookers 0
What The Puck: Tom MacDonald (2)
Shutout: Corey “Chongo” Winters (2)
Game Notes: MacDonald scored the only goal of the game with eight minutes remaining in regulation.

Happy Little Elves 4, Unicorns 3 (OT-SO)
Happy Little Elves: Jerome “Hornswoggle” Ramos 2 (3), Garrett “Ax” Carrino (3)
Unicorns: Joe Polowczuk (6), Chris (3), Rod (2)
Goalie Win: Shaun deLacy
Shootout: Happy Little Elves win 2-0.  Successful attempts by Gil Valdes and Ryan Nakahara

Cobra Kai 3, Gut Rot 2
Cobra Kai: Marc Beland (4), Adam Jacque (2), J.J. Murphy (1)
Gut Rot: Tom 2 (5)
Goalie Win: Peter Lang
Game Notes: Jacque’s game-winning goal broke a 2-2 tie with three minutes remaining in regulation.

Filthy Gorgeous 5, Dark Rainbows 3
Filthy Gorgeous: “Gentleman” James Pereira 2 (4), Suvin “The Guru” Malik (5), Matt Novick (3), Jon Rick (1)
Dark Rainbows: John Nielsen (3), P.T. Walkley (3), Sean Reynolds (1)
Goalie Win: Dan “D.O.” Owens
Game Notes: Malik’s game-winning goal broke a 3-3 tie with 2:30 remaining in regulation.

Mega Touch 6, Gouging Anklebiters 3
Mega Touch: Harvey Jaswal 2 (7), Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta (6), Joe Lops (2), Brett Oppedisano (1), Scott Rosenthal (1)
Gouging Anklebiters: Charles DeFranco (5), Alex Derhohannesian (4), Nick Gardella (1)
Goalie Win: Mike Tuckman

LBS, Inc. 3, Mathematics 1
LBS, Inc.: Karsten Pichon 2 (6), Lawrence Goldstein (5)
Mathematics: Sean “$howJu” McClain (1)
Goalie Win: Seth Wachtell

Poutine Machine 5, Tompkins Square Riots 0
Poutine Machine: Vincent Tracy 2 (5), Ashish Nagpal (6), Joe Coccimiglio (3), Dave Paglia (1)
Shutout: Tim Brown (4)

La Famiglia 4, Butchers 0
La Famiglia: Dmitry Gurvits 2 (3), Denis Miciletto (9), Gabe Wilson (1)
Shutout: Kevin Au (1)

Denim Demons 2, Rehabs 1 (OT-SO)
Denim Demons: Zack Tinkelman (2)
Rehabs: Vinny Caruana (1)
Goalie Win: Aaron “Coach” Pagdon
Shootout: Denim Demons win 1-0.  Successful attempt by Jeff Kamen.

How Did Scott Get In The Bar?

GAME OF THE WEEK
Fresh Kills (6-1) at Sky Fighters (4-2-0-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 7-7
Game Notes: Former league champions collide in this Hackett Division battle.  Fresh Kills enters on a five game winning streak, and most recently beat What The Puck for the second time this year.  That win propelled the team into sole possession of first in the division, and Fresh Kills now has the best record in BTSH.  Captain Dave Sokolyansky has led by example during this run, tallying all five of his goals in the last four games.  Although the Sky Fighters are now fourth in the division, they sit just three points behind Fresh Kills.  Due to a combination of explosive offense and rock solid defense, the Fighters have compiled a goal differential of +11, good for fourth in the league.  Their last game exemplified these attributes, as they scored five goals against the Tompkins Square Riots, and goalie James Stein recorded his first shutout of the season.  As we near the midpoint of the season, the Hackett Division remains the tightest from top to bottom.  Thus, each divisional matchup takes on extra importance, as these teams jostle for position.
Keys To The Game:
1. Fresh Kills goalie Patrick Barch played his best game of the season in the team’s 3-0 win against What The Puck.  Barch turned aside every shot from the league’s top-ranked offense, exhibiting the form that earned him a spot on the media’s 2010 All-Rookie team.
2. While 11 different players have scored a goal for the Sky Fighters, nearly half of their goals have come from Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka and team captain Dan Hopper.  Each has netted six goals on the season, putting them in a tie for fifth in the league scoring race.
3. In addition to boasting league prodigy Sam Lassner, the Sky Fighters also have the league’s top future superstar in Cory Watkinson.  He has already scored in his first and only game (Week 6), and he was touted by Mega Touch captain Julie Katz as being one of the league’s elite goal scorers before he even stepped on the court.
Eli’s Pick: Fresh Kills.  You never know who will actually show up in a given week for the Sky Fighters.
Derek’s Pick: Fresh Kills.  They have been a lot more consistent this season.
Watchability: 4.5 Fosters.  Both teams have a legit shot at winning the Hackett Division and capturing the second seed in the playoffs.

Continue reading ‘Week 9 Preview’

He’d Be Even Sweatier If He Actually Got Back On Defense

Color: Sky Blue
Year Founded: 2007 (current version), 2002 (original version)
2010 Regular Season Finish: 9-6-0-1 (2nd, Hackett Division; 7th overall)
2010 Playoff Result: Lost to Happy Little Elves in semifinals
Conference: Weyersberg
Division: Hackett
2010 Leading Scorer: Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka, 10 goals
Team Song: Eiffel 65 – Blue
Key Additions: Ivo Mocek, Cory Watkinson
Key Losses: Danielle Block (injury), Alice DuBois, Chris “Big Sexy” Shumaker

Continue reading ‘Season Preview: Sky Fighters’

Rob Knows His Team Has Two Wins To Go

#8 Happy Little Elves (10-5-0-3) at #7 Sky Fighters (11-6-0-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 2-2
2010 Result: Week 16 – Happy Little Elves 3, Sky Fighters 2; Week 18 – Sky Fighters 6, Happy Little Elves 1
Game Notes: After splitting their first two games, these Hackett Division rivals will play their rubber match in the semifinals.  In their first game, the Happy Little Elves unveiled their new “Elves Team Defense Initiative,” designed to improve what was then the worst defense in the league.  The strategy worked, as the Elves held the Sky Fighters to just two goals and won the game 3-2.  League scoring co-champion Trevor Beauclair scored twice for the Elves in the victory.  Beauclair also had a goal in these teams’ Week 18 contest, but alas, that was the only offense for the Elves that day.  The Sky Fighters blitzed the porous Elves defense for six goals, including a hat trick by defender Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka, who did not play in the first matchup.  In spite of this setback, the Elves’ defense has been a little more passable during the playoffs.  After nearly blowing a big lead against La Famiglia in the round of 16, the Elves stiffened up against Donohue Division champion Fresh Kills with a solid 3-2 overtime victory.  The Sky Fighters have been even more impressive in their two playoff wins, a 2-1 victory over the Fairy Tale Cup champion Dark Rainbows and a 4-0 shutout against the MacNeil Division champion Tompkins Square Riots.  As the defending champions strive to win their seventh straight playoff game en route to a second title, the Elves’ defense will need their best effort of the season to advance to the championship game.
Keys To The Game For The Sky Fighters:
1. Because of his team’s tremendous offensive depth, goaltender James Stein is often overlooked.  However, he has allowed just one goal in two playoff games and contributed to the Sky Fighters’ third ranked defense in the regular season.
2. The Sky Fighters were proud to welcome Robert Kucera back into their lineup last week after he missed several games with an unspecified upper body injury.  His presence was felt immediately, as he tallied two goals in their quarterfinal win.
3. Forward David Cernan does not like to play defense (how very Elf-like of him!), sometimes to the extent that he will refuse to cross mid-court into the Sky Fighters’ defensive zone.  Regardless, this gambit paid off last week, as he notched his first goal of the playoffs.
Keys To The Game For The Happy Little Elves:
1. Believe it or not, the Elves actually owe much of their success to the gameplanning abilities of co-captain Rich Glanzer.  Although he is often a tad sluggish on defense, his strategies, including opportunistic water breaks and timeouts, have led to several of the team’s biggest moments.  However, there has yet to be a strategy that has been as successful and effective as that of Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka.
2. In addition to being the team’s (and the league’s) leading scorer, rookie all-star Trevor Beauclair has also been one of the Elves’ most clutch performers.  His game-winning goal in overtime against Fresh Kills sent the Elves to the semifinals.
3. Although Beauclair steals most of the spotlight, the Elves’ brunette rookie Ryan Nakahara has also been integral to the team’s success.  He scored seven goals during the regular season, and his game-tying heroics forced overtime in last week’s quarterfinal.
Eli’s Pick: Happy Little Elves.  I’m hoping to pick their game incorrectly for the third straight week.
Derek’s Pick: Sky Fighters.  I’m hoping to pick the Elves’ game correctly for the third straight week.
Watchability: 4.5 Long Island Loudmouths