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Where’s Lateef’s Left Hand?

GAME OF THE WEEK
Poutine Machine (8-2-1-1) at Rehabs (3-6-1-2)
Location: Tompkins West, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: First Meeting
Game Notes: Two of the league’s top goalies face off in this inter-conference showdown.  Poutine Machine’s Tim Brown has dominated the competition in his first full season.  He leads the league in shutouts with five, and has been the backbone of the league’s top defense.  In addition, his goals against average of 1.17 ranks second in BTSH.  However, this game goes beyond just the stats for Brown, as he began his career with a two-game cup of coffee with the Rehabs last season.  Undoubtedly, he will want to put on a stellar showing against his former squad.  Unfortunately, winning will not come easily, as the Rehabs new goalie, Hilary Meyer, has picked up where Brown (and Anthony Romeo) left off.  Her solid goaltending has been the lone constant for the Rehabs this season, and her goals against average of 1.57 ranks fourth in the league.  After a slow start to the season, her team has finally picked up its offense as well, and has now earned points in six of its last seven games, including wins over the Corlears Hookers and defending champion Happy Little Elves.  With both goaltenders playing at such a high level, a low-scoring game is almost a certainty.
Keys To The Game:
1. Poutine Machine rookie Brodie St. John has led the team’s offense in recent weeks, tallying four goals in Poutine’s last four games.  He is part of a virtually unknown offense that is loaded with hidden talent and a man named Mike Haas.
2. Some of the lesser known players on the Rehabs have also gotten hot lately.  Mike Nagin led the team in their upset win against the Corlears Hookers in Week 12 with a hat trick, and notched another goal in the team’s tie against the Elves last week.
3. With interim Rehabs captain Stacy S. Kehoe scheduled to miss this Sunday’s game, the team has turned to BTSH veteran Mike “Cupcake” Bartlett for leadership.  When told of this, Cupcake simply shrugged his shoulders.
Eli’s Pick: Rehabs.  With 16 goals in the past three games, their offense is finally clicking.
Derek’s Pick: Rehabs.  They (Gina) threatened me with violence when I didn’t pick them last week.
Watchability: 4 Caruanas.  Both goalies should keep this game tight until the end.

Continue reading ‘Week 14 Preview’

Meredith And Stacy Are Almost As Tight As Rich And Karsten

Color: Black
Year Founded: 2001
2010 Regular Season Finish: 10-5-0-1 (1st, Hackett Division; 2nd overall)
2010 Playoff Result: Lost to Butchers in round of 16
Conference: Weyersberg
Division: Rubens
2010 Leading Scorer: Alex Doucette, 12 goals
Team Song: AC/DC – Back in Black
Key Additions: Approximately half of the roster
Key Losses: Brock Bosacker, Alex Doucette, Anita Khar, “Con” Ed Lau, Anthony Romeo, “The All-American Canadian” Adam Skuse

Continue reading ‘Season Preview: Rehabs’

Victory Tastes Sweet

Rehabs 3, Dark Rainbows 1
Rehabs: “The All-American Canadian” Adam Skuse (10), Brock Bosacker (7), Mike “Cupcake” Bartlett (1)
Dark Rainbows: Trevor “White Jesus” Tyrrell (6)
Game Notes: The Rehabs clinched the Hackett Division and #2 seed in the playoffs.

Tompkins Square Riots 4, Gut Rot 3
Tompkins Square Riots: Patrik Blohmé 2 (12), Alexandre Frenette (13), Joe Fiore (6)
Gut Rot: Scott 2 (11), Tom (4)
Game Notes: The Tompkins Square Riots clinched the MacNeil Division and #4 seed in the playoffs.

Poutine Machine 5, Gouging Anklebiters 2
Poutine Machine: Kevin MacDonald (5), Salman Haq (4), Jo-Ann Provencher (4), Dave Kucharsky (2), Leah Vickers (1)
Gouging Anklebiters: Alex Derhohannesian (12), Annika Sweetland (1)

Corlears Hookers 4, Denim Demons 2
Corlears Hookers: Jason Eitel 2 (9), Gavin “Dutch’s Brother” Kearney (15), Peter “Purple Rain” Putka (8)
Denim Demons: Zack Tinkelman (17), Noah Farkas (3)

LBS, Inc. 2, Unicorns 1 (OT-SO)
LBS, Inc.: Fernando Limonic (2)
Unicorns: Courtney (5)
Shootout: LBS, Inc. wins 1-0.  Successful attempt by “The Alpha Male” Ken Poulin.

La Famiglia 4, Butchers 2
La Famiglia: Shafiq “Off-Black” Perry 2 (8), Roger Ma (7), Angela Vicari (3)
Butchers: “The Charismatic Enigma” Arthur Revechkis (6), Arnold Sanchez (3)
Game Notes: Perry’s game-winning goal broke a 2-2 tie with five minutes remaining in regulation.

Mega Touch 5, Mathematics 1
Mega Touch: Harvey Jaswal (6), Eric Devlin (4), Alex “Coop” Eben Meyer (3), Greg Kellerman (2), Mark Anderson (1)
Mathematics: Scott Lee (1)

Fresh Kills 5, Cobra Kai 2
Fresh Kills: Justin Ross 3 (12), Nick Hobbs 2 (7)
Cobra Kai: Bryan Niddrie (4), Scott Rice (4)

Filthy Gorgeous 6, What The Puck 3
Filthy Gorgeous: Sunny Mehra (14), Joe Pereira (4), Chris Mangan (3), Dana Kravis (2), Jean Hebert (2), Jon Rick (2)
What The Puck: Tom MacDonald 2 (10), Lisa Harrington (2)

Sky Fighters 6, Happy Little Elves 1
Sky Fighters: Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka 3 (10), Greg Infanti (9), Dan Hopper (5), Dan Lee (3)
Happy Little Elves: Trevor Beauclair (17)

Unicorns 3, Poutine Machine 0
Unicorns: Joe 2 (10), Chris (7)
Shutout: Craig “Ug” LaCombe (3)

At Least It’s Not The Feldman Division

GAME OF THE WEEK
Dark Rainbows (8-5-0-2) at Rehabs (9-5-0-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Dark Rainbows lead 5-4
Game Notes: Two teams in contention for the Hackett Division crown face off for the first time this year on the final Sunday of the regular season.  After leading the division for the last few months, the Dark Rainbows now find themselves in third behind the Rehabs and Happy Little Elves.  However, a Dark Rainbows win and a Happy Little Elves loss or tie is all the Rainbows need to claim the division.  The Rehabs, on the other hand, have the benefit of being in control of their own destiny.  If they defeat the Rainbows, they win the division.  In addition, if they tie and the Happy Little Elves lose or tie, they would still win the division.  Of course, regardless of the exact order of finish within the Hackett Division, the Dark Rainbows, Rehabs, and Happy Little Elves should all enter the playoffs with a fairly high seed.
Keys To The Game:
1. Dark Rainbows captain Sean Reynolds has already assigned teammate John Nielsen with the task of adding an extension to the Rainbows’ trophy case.  Reynolds has noted that he fully expects it to house the Hackett Division trophy as well as the Fairy Tale Cup and 2007 championship trophy following this game.
2. The Rehabs recent five-game winning streak has coincided with the addition of explosive newcomer Brock Bosacker.  He has already chipped in six goals in his short time with the team, and is reminiscent of a young Adam Skuse in 2009.
3. Due to “rain fears,” the first meeting of the season between these teams was canceled.  Their last meeting was in Week 20 of the 2009 season, when the Rehabs defeated the Dark Rainbows 6-3.  “The All-American Canadian” Adam Skuse tallied a hat trick in that game.
Eli’s Pick: Rehabs.  This result will save all of us from a deluge of potential Elves gloating.
Derek’s Pick: Rehabs.  The division trophy presentation is tentatively scheduled to take place at Anita Khar’s beach house on the Connecticut shoreline.
Watchability: 4.5 Meyers.  The Elves will be watching this one intently.

Continue reading ‘Week 18 Preview’

Congratulations To Your 2010 Fairy Tale Cup Champions!

After several grueling weeks of competition, a new team has emerged as the 2010 Fairy Tale Cup champions: the Dark Rainbows.  With their 3-2 defeat of the 2008 and 2009 cup holders, the Unicorns, last Sunday, they have clinched this prestigious (yet imaginary) trophy.

Continue reading ‘Week 10 News and Notes’