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All-Star Game Coming Soon!

On September 13, 2009 at 5:30 PM, the BTSH media will host the second annual East-West All-Star Classic.  Once again, BTSH’s biggest and brightest stars from Queens, Brooklyn, and Long Island will comprise the East squad, while Manhattan, the Bronx, and New Jersey will fill out the West.  Under this unique format, players will sacrifice their team allegiances in the name of regional pride.

In the inaugural East-West battle, Phil “Sandy” Donohue and Rachel “A-Korn” Greene coached the Western squad to a 4-1 victory over Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens and Monica Russo’s Eastern team.  However, despite the competitive nature of the game, the Peaches Party Patrol kept the mood jovial with its usual assortment of food and beverages, which are once again expected this year. Sadly, due to prior commitments, Filthy Gorgeous’ Paul “Ashy Larry” Vernon is not expected to participate in this season’s event.

If you are interested in coaching your respective side of the river, please contact either Derek or Eli.

Continue reading ‘Week 17 News and Notes’

Not Pictured: Derek And Rich Shopping At Toys R Us Together

GAME OF THE WEEK
Happy Little Elves (4-6) vs. Mathematics (3-4-1-2)
Location: Tompkins East, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Mathematics lead 1-0
Game Notes: Despite the sub .500 records of both of these teams, few games have had as much buildup and intrigue to them this season.  The Happy Little Elves, based primarily on their 2008 performance and choice of team color, have become a favorite target of the Mathematics-run media’s jokes. The Elves have responded in kind by swamping the comments section of posts with non-sensical ramblings and incoherent jibber-jabber directed at the Mathematics. Although the volleys from each side generally remained friendly and lighthearted, the rivalry took a nasty turn two weeks ago, when Mathematics defender Sarah “T-Bone” Torneten defected to the Elves.  As a result, Mathematics captain Derek Tagliarino has ordered team goon Georgine “Mulva” Paulin to go after Torneten’s weak knees on their first shift together.  In an additional storyline, Happy Little Elves walking punch line Rich Glanzer and Tagliarino have pumped up the intensity even further, by wagering their prized championship belts on the outcome of this matchup.  Although there is only one point separating these two teams in the standings, more is at stake in this game than a simple win or loss.
Keys To The Game:
1. After serving a two-game suspension, recent Elves addition Eric “El Guapo” DiPierri is now eligible to play his first game with his new team.  Though sluggish at times, DiPierri does posses one of the better shots in the league.
2. With six of their nine points coming from games they trailed at the half, the Mathematics have proved to be a very resilient team.  However, they will need to play two solid halves to beat the Elves.
3. This is the first ever Game of the Week apperance for the Happy Little Elves, due to their residence at the bottom of the standings.  Will they rise to the occassion or crack under the pressure now that they are firmly in the spotlight?

Continue reading ‘Week 12 Preview’

Harmon’s New Shirt Looks Very Much Like His Old One

Form And Function
No longer content with displaying simple mathematical functions across their chests, the Mathematics unveiled a new, advanced jersey line on Sunday.  After years of sporting shirts with only addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division signs, the Mathematics added exponents and square roots to their repertoire.  In addition, a special “black out” jersey (bearing the same new logos) was also commissioned as an occasional alternate uniform.  Like their predecessors, the new shirts received rave reviews throughout BTSH.  One league member, Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens, was quoted as saying, “If Mathematics shirts were on sale, I would totally buy one.”

Continue reading ‘Week 8 News and Notes’

Mathematics ‘Stache Four On Cobra Kai

Mathematics 4, Cobra Kai 0
Mathematics: Adam Langer 2 (2), Eli Kazin (2), Bradley Schmidt (1)
Shutout: Joe Boshko (1)

What The Puck 3, LBS, Inc. 2
What The Puck: Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta (7), Mike “The X-Factor” Woodsworth (5), Darrell “Accurate Bob” Hartman (3)
LBS, Inc.: Karsten Pichon (9), “The Alpha Male” Ken Poulin (5)

Dark Rainbows 3, Filthy Gorgeous 2
Dark Rainbows: John Nielsen (8), Sean Reynolds (3), P.T. Walkley (2)
Filthy Gorgeous: “Gentleman” James Pereira 2 (9)
Game Notes: Reynolds’ game-winning goal broke a 2-2 tie with eleven minutes remaining in regulation.

Sky Fighters 6, Mighty Squirrels 1
Sky Fighters: Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka 2 (9), Alice Bertoni 2 (3), Mark Bloom (2), Dan Hopper (1)
Mighty Squirrels: Eric Ramirez (1)
Game Notes: For more information regarding this game, please check out Samantha Lee’s and Ritch Duncan’s blog.

Rehabs 2, Mexican Standoff 0
Rehabs: Rob Blandi (1), Mel Raoul (1)
Shutout: Anthony Romeo (1)
Game Notes: Former Rehab Stacy Kehoe was in attendance for this game and hinted at a possible return in the near future.

Corlears Hookers 6, Gouging Anklebiters 1
Corlears Hookers: Jason Eitel 2 (9), Gavin “Dutch’s Brother” Kearney (4), Anshu Sinha (2), Albert “Al” Huang (1), Dan Thompson (1)
Gouging Anklebiters: Peter “Geech” Prohaska (3)

Unicorns 2, Mega Touch 1
Unicorns: Chris (6), Mike (2)
Mega Touch: Alex “Coop” Eben Meyer (2)

Happy Little Elves 3, Fresh Kills 1
Happy Little Elves: Chris O’Neil (4), Jarome “Hornswoggle” Ramos (2), Rich Glanzer (1)
Fresh Kills: Bob “Olmec” Weyersberg (2)
Game Notes: The Happy Little Elves did not have any females in attendance for the first five minutes of this game.

Denim Demons 2, Tuques 0
Denim Demons: Mike Pereira (4), Danny Polinsky (2)
Shutout: Aaron “Coach” Pagdon (2)

The Mathematics Will Pickle Cobra Kai

GAME OF THE WEEK
Mathematics (1-2-1-1) vs. Cobra Kai (1-3-0-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 5:30 PM
All-Time Series: Mathematics lead 5-1
Game Notes: Last week marked a turning point in the season for the Mathematics.  After going winless in their first four games, Math found itself down by two goals with ten minutes remaining against the Tuques.  However, with three quick goals they were able to turn the game, and potentially their season, around.  Their opponent this week, Cobra Kai, also had a slow start to the season.  After losing its first three games, the Dojo has responded with three points in its last two games, including a win against Mega Touch.  With both teams having shaken off the early season rust, this bitter rivalry has all the potential to be a classic.
Keys To The Game:
1. After missing the Mathematics’ first four games with a lower body injury, Bradley Schmidt returned last week and assisted on their first goal.  His playmaking ability makes him dangerous whenever he touches the ball.
2. Rem “Canadian Strongman” Garavito has an innate knack to deliver in the clutch for Cobra Kai.  A late goal of his forced overtime with the Happy Little Elves last week, earning an extra point in the standings for his team.
3. League officials have been working around the clock to book Mathematics great Sharif “The Chocolate Buzzsaw” Corinaldi and Cobra Kai icon Peter “Ski” Oblamski to drop the ceremonial first ball.  It remains to be seen which team will draw more inspiration from its respective legend.

Continue reading ‘Week 7 Preview’