For the second season in a row, the media hosted the BTSH East-West All-Star Classic, pitting teams from opposite sides of the East River against each other. The East, looking to avenge its loss in 2008, jumped to an early 1-0 lead, as the extremely dangerous $howT!m3-Mungo duo struck the first blow of the contest. The teams then exchanged goals, as the game see-sawed for the remainder of the first half, which ended in a 2-2 tie. However, the West dominated the second, with Sunny Mehra (Filthy Gorgeous) and Jefferson (Mexican Standoff) scoring quickly to provide a two-goal cushion. Bill MacGregor (Mega Touch) continued the onslaught with a goal of his own and celebrated by leaping onto the dugout fence behind the goal, where he was warmly received by his Mega Touch teammates. Derek Tagliarino (Mathematics) added another goal for the West just a few minutes later and attempted to duplicate MacGregor’s celebration. Unfortunatley, the entire Mega Touch section remained seated, prompting East co-coach Stacy Kehoe (Rehabs) to declare the spectacle “the saddest celebration in BTSH”. The West ultimately won 8-2.
Once again, the contributions of the coaches buoyed the enjoyment of the afternoon. West co-coach Steve Chernoski (Denim Demons) donned an electric lime track suit, headband, and sunglasses in an homage to New Jersey culture. The other West co-coach, Georgine “Mulva” Paulin (Mathematics) came dressed as a “douchebag real estate agent” (her words) to represent her home borough of Manhattan. In addition, Paulin provided a sack of chocolate gold for her team as an incentive to win. East co-coach Rich Glanzer did nothing to help his team win. In fact, he even tried playing a shift in the second half, resulting in yet another goal for the West (and a -1 for Glanzer).
At the conclusion of the game, several players participated in an impromptu shootout (although this had NO bearing on the game’s result). Some of the highlights included Chris “Big Sexy” Shumaker’s pre-attempt flip and perfect landing, a salute to “Thriller” before Ariel Imas’ shot, and Susannah’s goal off of a multi-teammate screen. However, upon further review, Susannah’s goal has been disallowed due to the fact that teammate Rob “Mungo” Gorden was in the crease.
Happy Birthday $howT!m3!
Despite a flurry of activity this past weekend, the most monumental event was easily league side show Hector “$howT!m3″ Melendez’s 26th birthday. Although many festivities were brainstormed for the occasion, only a handful came to fruition. $howT!m3 planned on making a grand entrance via car (or cat, we’re not sure) on to the Tompkins courts, but was unable to procure said means of conveyance (even the cat!). Thus, he was reduced to walking through the gates like a commoner. Even with this setback, the Rehabs’ victory was the sweetest present of all.
To continue celebrating his birthday and the Rehabs’ win, $howT!m3 planned on holding a 20 person Irish Car Bomb drinking session. Although he was only able to convince four other people to join him in this endeavor, it didn’t make his birthday any less special. Love for $howT!m3 was definitely in the air.
Bad Touch (2-17-1) vs. Mexican Standoff (4-13-2-1)
Location: Corlears North, 2:00 PM All-Time Series: Tied 5-5-1 Game Notes: With both teams picking up wins in the last few weeks, they are both trying to finish the season on a high note.
Denim Demons (12-4-2-1) vs. What The Puck (14-4-0-1)
Location: Corlears South, 2:00 PM All-Time Series: What The Puck leads 9-2 Game Notes: If a couple of plays had gone the other way last week, this could very well have been an outstanding semi-final matchup.
Mathematics (6-13) vs. Gouging Anklebiters (4-15)
Location: Moffo, 2:00 PM All-Time Series: Mathematics lead 3-1 Game Notes: Eric “El Guapo” DiPierri of the Gouging Anklebiters claims the Mathematics’ victory against his team in the regular season is “tainted”…because the Mathematics did not have Andy Pratt that day.
Happy Little Elves (2-15-1-1) vs. Tuques (9-10)
Location: Corlears North, 3:00 PM All-Time Series: Happy Little Elves lead 1-0 Game Notes: According to Tuques goalie, Minkus, “No Elves are scoring on me.”
Rehabs (10-6-1-1) vs. Mighty Squirrels (7-9-3)
Location: Moffo, 3:00 PM All-Time Series: Rehabs lead 3-1-1 Game Notes: The Squirrels are looking to snap a nine game losing streak.
Dark Rainbows (12-6-1) vs. Unicorns (11-6-0-2)
Location: Corlears North, 4:00 PM All-Time Series: Dark Rainbows lead 4-3 Game Notes: The outcome of this game does not affect the Unicorns’ possesion of the (imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup.
Cobra Kai (6-11-1-1) vs. Sky Fighters (11-7)
Location: Moffo, 4:00 PM All-Time Series: Cobra Kai leads 2-1 Game Notes: We assume that the Sky Fighters will actually show up for this one. Their captains would expect nothing less.
It’s Rex Manning Day!!!
A buzz was in the air last weekend. Although, on the face of it, Sunday seemed like it would just be a normal day of BTSH hockey, league commissioner Bob “Olmec” Weyersberg had other ideas. Through his extensive connections in the music industry, Weyersberg arranged for famed recording artist Rex Manning to appear at Welcome to the Johnson’s. He dubbed it “Rex Manning Day”. Despite the long lines this created at BTSH’s favorite hockey bar, everyones excitement level was sky-high for a chance to meet the British pop star. One BTSHer, Filthy Gorgeous’s Monica Russo, even fainted upon meeting the icon, when Manning gave her a light peck on the cheek. What The Puck’s Corey “Chongo” Winters described the spectacle, “This was truly the happiest day in my life. I have all of his albums, so to finally meet Rex Manning in person is a dream come true, eh?” The best news of the day came at the end of the evening, when bartender Brent Smith announced that the event had raised enough money to prevent the Johnson’s from turning into a Music Town.
GAME OF THE WEEK Rehabs (6-3-1-1) vs. Denim Demons (6-0-2-1)
Location: Corlears South, 5:00 PM All-Time Series: Rehabs lead 6-4-1 Game Notes: This game represents one of the most storied and bitter rivalries across all of BTSH, as both teams are very open about their dislike for one another. The combative history begins with their original meeting in 1932, when Rehabs captain Sean “Nine Toes” O’Malley scored the game winning goal in octuple overtime in a game featuring more than 100 minutes of penalties. The next series milestone occurred in 1966 when Demons prankster Lisa “Moonbeam” Williams laced the Rehabs pre-game meal with LSD. Tensions boiled over again in 2003, when the Demons changed their color scheme to the Rehabs’ signature Red and Black, from their previous teal and fuchsia. Finally, just last season, when Rehabs schemer Jon Feldman discovered that the Demons were pre-emptively planning a celebratory dinner, he snuck into the team clubhouse (Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens’s apartment) and smashed all of their fine China. This earned him the nickname, “Dinner Plate”. Fireworks are expected this Sunday when the rivalry continues. Keys To The Game:
1. Rehabs defender Stacy Kehoe’s high school class will be taking a field trip to watch this game on Sunday. She has promised them no homework on Monday if the Rehabs are victorious, so the fan support will be boisterous.
2. Upon further review, it’s summer, so ignore the previous note.
3. But then again, she might teach summer school…see note one. Eli’s Pick: Rehabs. “Con” Ed Lau turns off the power at the Demons’ hotel, causing most of them to oversleep. Derek’s Pick: Denim Demons. Micael Holmstrom never sleeps.
recent comments