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What Celebrities Are Saying About The BTSH Final

The following views do not necessarily represent those of the editors or of BTSH. They do, however, represent those of Rich Glanzer.

Without a doubt, the Happy Little Elves and Corlears Hookers are two of the most polarizing teams in all of BTSH.  Regardless of which side you’re cheering for in this Sunday’s final, almost everyone has an opinion.

These teams first met two years ago on the last day of the 2008 regular season.  The Hookers were rolling through all of BTSH, while the Elves were on a collision course with the 1962 Mets.  Although the Hookers had no subs that day, they were still huge and heavy favorites.  However, the Elves proved exceeded everyone’s expectations and forced overtime with 30 seconds to go, before they eventually lost in a shootout.

Still the juggernaut of BTSH, the Corlears Hookers now face the former patsies of BTSH once again in the BTSH championship game.  As you might expect, the Elves’ postseason run has caught the eye of BTSH fans everywhere.  But what is a little surprising, is that this Good vs. Evil (Ed: which team is which?) matchup has also caught the eye of many celebrities.  After checking out www.celebretytweetsaboutBTSH.com, you can tell there are fans of both sides.  Let’s take a look:

Continue reading ‘Guest Columnist: Rich Glanzer’

Is This BTSH’s Best Duo?

This Sunday, BTSH will once again hold its annual year-end extravaganza.  Festivities will be held at Parkside Lounge following the conclusion of the championship game.  For the fourth straight season, the media will proudly present several prestigious awards at this event. To build your anticipation, here are this season’s media awards and nominees:

The Award For The Regular Season Scoring Co-Champions

• Trevor Beauclair (Happy Little Elves)
• Zack Tinkelman (Denim Demons)

The Award For Best Goals Against Average

• Craig “Ug” LaCombe (Unicorns)

Best Family

• Jennie Brown & Sean Reynolds (Dark Rainbows)
• Joe and Zack Tinkelman (Denim Demons)
• “Gentleman” James Pereira (Filthy Gorgeous), Joe Pereira (Filthy Gorgeous), & Mike Pereira (Denim Demons)
• La Famiglia (La Famiglia)

Best Duo

• Rich Glanzer (Happy Little Elves) & Karsten Pichon (LBS, Inc.)
• Patrick Barch & Nick Hobbs (Fresh Kills)
• Rich Glanzer (Happy Little Elves) & Matt Workman (Filthy Gorgeous)
• Mike Smith (Mathematics) & Rich Glanzer (Happy Little Elves)

Most Underrated Female

• Connie Chan (Denim Demons)
• Beth Costello (Butchers)
• Luisa Mirarchi (Cobra Kai)
• Angela Vicari (La Famiglia)

Most Underrated Male

• Alexandre Frenette (Tompkins Square Riots)
• Greg Infanti (Sky Fighters)
• Harvey Jaswal (Mega Touch)
• Scott (Gut Rot)

The Stacy S. Kehoe Award For Toughness & Grace

• Amy Farley (What The Puck)
• Ellen Marth (Butchers)
• Jo-Ann Provencher (Poutine Machine)
• Kristen Wise (Cobra Kai)

The Jon “Dinner Plate” Feldman Award For Agitation and Instigation

• David Cernan (Sky Fighters)
• Anita Khar (Rehabs)
• Adam Langer (Mathematics)
• Mark Talercio (Cobra Kai)

The Third Annual Bob Weyersberg Award For Outstanding Achievement In The Field Of Excellence

• Meredith Danberg-Ficarelli (Rehabs)
• Rich Glanzer (Happy Little Elves)
• Patrick “Sven” Larsen (Poutine Machine)
• Peter “Purple Rain” Putka (Corlears Hookers)

The Brendan “Flounder” Hay Memorial Award (Female)

• Julie Katz (Mega Touch)
• Amy Barrett Kovner (Gouging Anklebiters)
• Susannah Pasquantonio (Filthy Gorgeous)
• Meagan Vincent (Mathematics)

The Brendan “Flounder” Hay Memorial Award (Male)

• Bill (Gut Rot)
• Marcus Bonnee (Poutine Machine)
• Joe (Unicorns)
• Arnold Sanchez (Butchers)

Sorry, Doc, Your Game Is At Noon

After much speculation and anticipation, you can rest easy as we present to you the October 3 schedule:

Continue reading ‘October 3 Schedule Released’

Can You Guess Which Of These Elves Leads The League In Goals?

With just one week remaining in the regular season, the race for the 2010 BTSH scoring title is nearing a conclusion.  Here are the top contenders for this coveted honor, which guarantees one pull from the media’s Mystery Box at the end of season awards ceremony:

Gavin “Dutch’s Brother” Kearney, Corlears Hookers (14 goals): It’s no secret that Gavin’s offensive output is directly correlated to Jason Eitel’s busy summer schedule.  With Jason missing several games this season, Gavin has had the opportunity to play alongside teammates who actually pass the ball once in a while, a distinct difference from the days of Eitel.  However, Gavin still has his work cut out for him, as he faces the Denim Demons and the league’s toughest defense this weekend.  Odds of winning: 25-1.

Mike Pereira, Denim Demons (14 goals): Mike’s production has slid under the radar this season with teammate Zack Tinkelman getting the bulk of the media’s attention.  Although he has always boasted a strong goals per game average, this is the first season in recent memory that Mike’s attendance has been consistent enough to make a real impact.  Regardless, he will have to put up a hat trick against the staunch Corlears Hookers defense if he wants to win the scoring race.  Odds of winning: 20-1.

“The Alpha Male” Ken Poulin, LBS, Inc. (15 goals): One of the few certainties of BTSH is that year in and year out, Ken, along with his linemate Karsten Pichon, will always be among the top scoring tandems. This season is no different.  Once again, Ken has been extremely consistent throughout the season and has also produced the occasional outburst (4 goals vs. Tompkins Square Riots). He will face goaltender Craig “Ug” LaCombe and the Unicorns this Sunday.  Odds of winning: 12-1.

Continue reading ‘Week 17 News and Notes’

An Unauthorized Biography

By “The Chairman” Ben Chadwick and Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta (with supplementary material by Dr. Byron Clavicle, DDS, LDS, NIMBY, and BTO)

The Early, Canine Years
Rich Glanzer was born on February 30, 1957 in Southampton, New York, the child of Arthur Miller and Marilyn Monroe.  Controversy came immediately when the nurse told him he was “such a cute baby,” and he disagreed.  Refusing even to cry, he announced a boycott of the hospital and crawled off into the woods.  There, he was raised by a pack of coyotes who taught him everything he knows about diplomacy, a skill he still uses today.

Continue reading ‘The Indefatigable Rich Glanzer’