Tag Archive for 'Hockey Rich'

Thank You

Raise Our Hands!

Before we being with our traditional end-of-year thank you post, allow us to present a brief anecdote from Sunday’s awards ceremony.  For the most part, we generally put serious thought into the acknowledgments we bestow upon the BTSH community, despite the vacuousness of the prizes and categories themselves (aside from the Stacy S. Kehoe Award, of course).  However, as a direct result of choosing the nominees and winners every season, neither of us had ever actually won one of our own media awards.  This had to change.  We came in with the intention of getting booed off the stage for giving ourselves the award for Best Duo, especially following a planned self-centered acceptance speech.  Instead, we were met with a chorus of cheers and applause.  Even Craig withheld his usual heckles and slurs.  It was actual quite heartwarming.

Adriano and others have repeatedly acknowledged us for putting a lot of work into what most consider to be a thankless task.  While true that this has had to be a labor of love over the past few seasons considering the small compensation we receive (thank you to those who voted to give us anything though!), calling our job “thankless” is not entirely accurate.  Throughout our tenure as editors for the website, and especially during this past weekend, we have been showered with effusive praise and accolades.  As writers, we thrive on knowing that people are reading and enjoying our work, and the comments and good tidings have kept us motivated throughout the years.

However, we could not have done this without the help and contributions of several dedicated staffers.  Jesse Kalb has provided his thoughts on the Hockey Night in Tompkins matchups for two seasons, and they have become a highlight of the weekly previews.  Sven Larsen saved us from the unenviable task of covering the MacNeil Division with his weekly submissions.  Abby “Tayne” Meisterman’s work may not have been enjoyed by everyone (T-Beau, Hockey Rich), but it was always entertaining.  Monica Russo decided to use the space we gave her to write about herself and Fitlhy Gorgeous, instead of the Donohue Division, as she was assigned…but at least, we didn’t have to write about Cobra Kai.  Rich Glanzer surprised us all with coherent, well-researched musings and relatively accurate predictions.  Plus, his Know Your Neighbor contributions were actually quite funny.  Ben Chadwick wrote far too much far too often, no matter what he called himself.  Last and certainly least, Shaun deLacy was the media intern, and he should not be acknowledged.

In addition, we’d also like to thank the past two league commissioners.  Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta supported us throughout the creative process, and Bob “Olmec” Weyersberg allowed us to take control of btsh.org in the first place.

As we look back at our years of service, we leave with no regrets and are excited to hand the reigns to someone else (hopefully).  It has been a pleasure using the website as a platform to get to know most of the league so well, but it will also be nice to have more free time to spend with our newfound friends.

Your humble Editors Emeriti,
Eli Kazin & Derek Tagliarino

Week 6 News and Notes

Do You Smell What Tommy Is Cooking?

Three Stars of the Week

Third Star: Myrto Mylopoulos, Tompkins Square Riots. Myrto scored the only shootout goal in the Riots’ win against the Unicorns, and we’re looking for any excuse to get this video on the site one more time.
Second Star: Joe Polowczuk, Unicorns/Rehabs. As a borrowed player, who was inexplicably allowed to play by the Elves power structure, Joe recorded a hat trick to lead the Rehabs to their first victory of the season.  In addition to giving his Fairy Tale Cup rivals a taste of things to come, Polowczuk also scored the game-tying goal in his own game for the Unicorns.
First Star: Tommy Capatosta, LBS, Inc.  The Corporation’s Security Manager had all five of the team’s goals in LBS, Inc.’s 5-4 overtime win against the Sky Fighters.  He has dubbed the accomplishment the “Capatostrick.”

Continue reading ‘Week 6 News and Notes’

Guest Columnist: Rich Glanzer

The following views do not necessarily represent those of the editors or of BTSH. They do, however, represent those of Rich Glanzer.

For winning the Survivor Pool for the second straight year [Ed: Factual inaccuracy #1], I get to make yet another guest column. Here it is:

This is the true story [Ed: Factual inaccuracy #2], of two strangers, picked to run a co-ed hockey team, work together, and get their asses kicked. Find out what happens when captains stop being polite, and start getting real. The real story of the Happy Little Elves.

In 2008, the Happy Little Elves were formed. Two men, one loved, and the other me, fought for control of the franchise. The tall one they call Ben Chadwick eventually won the power struggle (because he paid Bob W. the league fee, and I didn’t), and that is how the Happy Little Elves came into existence. Years later, many books, movies, and inaccurate stories on the BTSH website [Ed: Including this very guest column] detailed how the Elves went from Lime Green Losers to champions of the BTSH world. But finally the secret tapes came out as I knew they would, and the true story has finally been revealed.

How did I know the tapes would come out???  [Ed: Two of these question marks are superfluous] Well, I leaked it on my Facebook account a few months ago. But here are the secret conversations between Ben Chadwick and myself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmF42fFSnLc

As you can see, the friction between the 2009 Duo of the Year, Ben Chadwick and myself, has not thawed. We hate each other as much as we did the first day when I said to him, “Hi, my name is Rich Glanzer, but you can call me Captain.”

However, we both agree on three things:

  1. The Simpsons is way better than Family Guy
  2. Jan Erixon would still be the best Ranger
  3. Shaun deLacey [sic] is a jerk, but he’s our jerk

No Box Scores Tonight…

…But You Already Know That.

Your humble correspondents are watching Alberto Del Rio fulfill his destiny by winning the World Heavyweight Championship at Wrestlemania 27.  So, no box scores tonight.

In the mean time, here are Rich Glanzer’s WM27 predictions:

  • C.M. Punk defeats Randy Orton
  • Team Big Show defeats CORRE
  • Sheamus retains his title over Daniel Bryan
  • Snooki pins Dolph Ziggler
  • Undertaker defeats Triple H
  • Alberto Del Rio wins the World Heavyweight Championship from Edge
  • Miz retains his title from John Cena
  • Monday night, Rock defeats the Miz for the WWE Championship

Let’s see how well he does…

Championship Game Box Score

Congratulations Happy Little Elves, 2010 BTSH Champions!

Elves Boycott Losing For An Entire Playoffs

TOMPKINS SQUARE PARK – Happy Little Elves rookies Trevor Beauclair and Ryan Nakahara have known each other since their high school days in Burlington, Ontario, Canada. They’ve played hockey together for more than a decade and continued that partnership by joining the Happy Little Elves together this season. Their impact was felt throughout the regular season and playoffs, and the championship game was no different, as the duo played an integral role in the Elves’ 3-1 victory over the Corlears Hookers.

Nakahara led the Elves with two unassisted goals in the championship game, both of which came off of turnovers that he created. The brunette rookie’s first goal gave his team an early 1-0 lead, when he stole the ball from a Hookers’ defender and netted the shot from about 15 feet out. Nakahara’s second goal came late in the second half when he intercepted an errant Hookers clearing pass and scored on a breakaway, giving the Elves a 3-0 lead and effectively sealing the victory.

Beauclair also played a key role in the Elves’ championship victory. The flaxen-haired rookie’s shot with about 10 minutes remaining in the first half caused a big rebound, allowing teammate Melanie Pessin to easily tap in the game-winning goal. In addition, as a defenseman, Beauclair was a crucial part of the New Elves Defensive Initiative, which held the high-scoring Hookers offense to just one goal.

Never at a loss for words, Elves co-captain Rich Glanzer noted, “We had a gameplan, stuck to the NEDI (New Elves Defensive Initiative) and ended up winning the whole thing.” Throughout the season, Glanzer has consistently demanded a maximum effort from his team and has long preached the virtues of sacrificing oneself for the greater good.  This game, the Long Island Lynbrook Loudmouth led by example as he dove across the unforgiving blacktop in the closing minutes of the game to clear the ball out of the Elves’ defensive zone. Glanzer added, “In 20 years of hockey, I’ve never been on a team that wanted to win one game–one championship–as much as the 2010 Happy Little Elves did.”

The Happy Little Elves were established prior to the 2008 season as a team of free agents. The team finished that year with just one win, ironically in their first game, and were hardly viewed as championship material. Co-captain Ben Chadwick, who became captain of the Elves because he was the first to pay the league fee, remarked, “Nobody ever expected much when our ragtag crew of free agents and castaways first came together. Well, now you are all witness to what a team can do simply by practicing hard, working together, and dumping horse tranqs in your opponent’s water bottles.”

The Corlears Hookers’ only goal, scored by Brendan “Dutch” Kearney, came late in the second half, a minute after Nakahara’s second goal. The tally seemed to ignite the Hookers’ spirit, as the team pressed the Elves’ defense incessantly for the remainder of the game. However, Elves’ goalie Shaun deLacy played his best game of the season and staved off the late attack. This is the Corlears Hookers’ third loss in a championship game, as they were defeated by the Dark Rainbows in 2007 and Fresh Kills in 2008.

CHAMPIONSHIP GAME
#8 Happy Little Elves 3, #5 Corlears Hookers 1

1 2 Total
#8 Happy Little Elves 2 1 3 Final
#5 Corlears Hookers 0 1 1

First Half:
Happy Little Elves – 6:18, Ryan Nakahara (3) (unassisted)
Happy Little Elves – 14:45, Melanie Pessin (1) (Trevor Beauclair, Gil Valdes)

Second Half:
Happy Little Elves – 16:08, Ryan Nakahara (4) (unassisted)
Corlears Hookers – 17:03, Brendan “Dutch” Kearney (1) (Gavin “Dutch’s Brother” Kearney)