Happy Little Elves (1-15-1-1) vs. Bad Touch (2-16-1)
Location: Corlears North, 1:00 PM All-Time Series: Bad Touch leads 1-0 Game Notes: The Elves are looking to snap a 14 game losing streak.
Mighty Squirrels (7-8-3) vs. Tuques (8-10)
Location: Corlears South, 1:00 PM All-Time Series: Tuques lead 6-1 Game Notes: The Squirrels are looking to snap an eight game losing streak.
Gouging Anklebiters (4-14) vs. Mexican Standoff (3-13-2-1)
Location: Corlears North, 2:00 PM All-Time Series: Gouging Anklebiters lead 8-3 Game Notes:Eric “El Guapo” DiPierri of the Gouging Anklebiters is questionable for this game, as he may be serving a team suspension.
Sky Fighters (11-7) vs. Rehabs (10-6-1-1)
Location: Corlears South, 2:00 PM All-Time Series: Sky Fighters lead 4-3 Game Notes: This is actually a decent game.
Mathematics (6-12) vs. Cobra Kai (5-11-1-1)
Location: Corlears North, 3:00 PM All-Time Series: Mathematics lead 5-0 Game Notes: Sheena Otto of the Mathematics will be looking for revenge against her former team.
It’s Rex Manning Day!!!
A buzz was in the air last weekend. Although, on the face of it, Sunday seemed like it would just be a normal day of BTSH hockey, league commissioner Bob “Olmec” Weyersberg had other ideas. Through his extensive connections in the music industry, Weyersberg arranged for famed recording artist Rex Manning to appear at Welcome to the Johnson’s. He dubbed it “Rex Manning Day”. Despite the long lines this created at BTSH’s favorite hockey bar, everyones excitement level was sky-high for a chance to meet the British pop star. One BTSHer, Filthy Gorgeous’s Monica Russo, even fainted upon meeting the icon, when Manning gave her a light peck on the cheek. What The Puck’s Corey “Chongo” Winters described the spectacle, “This was truly the happiest day in my life. I have all of his albums, so to finally meet Rex Manning in person is a dream come true, eh?” The best news of the day came at the end of the evening, when bartender Brent Smith announced that the event had raised enough money to prevent the Johnson’s from turning into a Music Town.
Sascha Was Too Embarrassed Even To Show Up
In one of the marquee matchups of the day, a highly motivated LBS, Inc. defeated the Corlears Hookers and officially established themselves as the “white team” of BTSH. Although this game had important implications regarding playoff seeding, there was far more at stake between the two teams. As the self-proclaimed cleanest player in the league Ken “The Alpha Male” Poulin explained earlier this summer, “We’ve been wearing white since this league was initiated!” However, when the Corlears Hookers formed last season, they also adopted white as one of their primary team colors. Although the game had no formal stakes to it, it was clear that the winner would be perceived as the top “white team” of BTSH.
The game proved as intense as one might expect with such a large payout, but LBS, Inc. eventually emerged victorious from the battle. The Alpha Male’s fiery (albeit, somewhat nonsensical) pre-game ramblings had actually motivated his team to go the extra mile. Following the game, the media presented him with a box of Crayola crayons featuring 64 different colors to honor his now famous rant. The Alpha Male claims he will continue to find ways to pump up his team as they prepare for a deep run in the playoffs.
