LBS Goes Corporate
When you’re an elite conglomerate like LBS is, simply being called a “team” is not enough. LBS is far more than a loose a collection of hipsters who get together on Sundays like the rest of BTSH. Instead, their ranks include stock brokers, government officials, and other community leaders who you aspire to be. As such, the board of directors of LBS has declared that–effectively immediately–you must now refer to them as LBS, Inc. Ken “The Alpha Male” Poulin explains, “We’re more than just a team. We’re a brand…a brand that people widely recognize as the gold standard of BTSH. Kind of like Mr. Clean.” As a result of this change in marketing direction, captain Sascha Puritz shall now be known as the CEO, Karsten Pichon shall be the CFO, Molly Jacobs shall be the Vice President of West Coast Operations, and Sam Anthony shall be the Director of Investor Relations. Seth Wachtell has been reassigned to the mail room.
GAME OF THE WEEK Filthy Gorgeous (4-2) vs. LBS (5-2)
Location: Corlears North, 5:00 PM All-Time Series: Filthy Gorgeous leads 2-1 Game Notes: Filthy Gorgeous enters this weekend on a four-game winning streak, with their most impressive victory coming last Sunday. Despite giving up a game-tying goal to the Denim Demons with just thirty seconds left in regulation, Filthy Gorgeous persevered and prevailed in the shootout on goals from two of their stars: Suvin “The Guru” Malik and James Pereira. After a two-game losing streak, LBS has responded by winning their last two games, including a hard fought victory against the Mathematics, when they were short a few players in the heat. Despite playing only a few games together so far, Ken “The Alpha Male” Poulin and Karsten Pichon are still one of the most formidable scoring tandems in BTSH. While these two teams may not get as much press as some of the flashier teams in the league, they are still just as talented. Keys to the Game:
1. This will be the second game of the day for Filthy Gorgeous, with the first being a very grueling matchup against the Rehabs. Will a two-hour break between games be enough to re-energize them?
2. Brian “Grandmaster B” Barrett of LBS had his first multi-goal game of the season last week. He claims it was because he gave up drinking beer the entire week. Filthy might want to buy him a cold one before the game.
3. Filthy Gorgeous might have a goalie controversy on their hands as Liza Watts was the winning goalie of the Women’s All-Star Game. Eli’s Pick: LBS. I was very impressed with their performance last week. Derek’s Pick: Filthy Gorgeous. I expect big things from Filthy’s most prominent player, Paul “Ashy Larry” Vernon.
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