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Can Filthy Make It Seven?

GAME OF THE WEEK
Filthy Gorgeous (7-4) at Denim Demons (7-3-0-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: Denim Demons lead 4-2-1
Game Notes: Rubens Division rivals face off for the first time this season with just one point separating them in the standings.  Filthy Gorgeous had a horrendous start to the 2011 season, winning just one of its first five games.  However, sparked by the return of “Gentleman” James Pereira, the team has gone on a tear, reeling off six consecutive victories.  During this streak, the team has scored 25 of its 30 goals on the season, with Pereira and his linemate, Suvin “The Guru” Malik accounting for 17 of them.  Despite being back to back regular season champions, the Denim Demons have very quietly assumed first place in the Rubens Division.  However, it will be tough for them to maintain this standing, as they can look forward to one of the toughest remaining schedules in the league.  All seven games left on their docket are against Weyersberg Conference teams, including four divisional games.  The Demons’ first challenge will be this weekend against a rejuvenated Filthy Gorgeous.
Keys To The Game:
1. After being swept by the Demons in 2010, Filthy Gorgeous will be looking for vengeance and retribution.  To motivate her squad, captain Monica Russo has forced the team to watch the broadcast of the New Orleans Saints’ Super Bowl victory.  She has also promised that, much like Drew Brees, she will lead the team in pre-game barking.
2. 2009′s leader in goals against, Aaron “Coach” Pagdon has been the backbone of the Demons.  He has recorded three shutouts this season, including one in the Demons’ last game.  These shutouts have been even more crucial than in past seasons, as all three came in one-goal games.
3. This will be the first time that Filthy’s “Gentleman” James Pereira and Joe Pereira face off against the Demons’ Mike Pereira since the three won the Best Family award last season.  Family members are already taking sides, as cousins Cletus, Merle, and Billy Ray have always been ardent Filthy Gorgeous supporters, while cousins Winston, Reginald, and Preston have always been Demons boosters.
Eli’s Pick: Filthy Gorgeous.  Make it seven.
Derek’s Pick: Filthy Gorgeous.  The Demons have been doing it with smoke and mirrors so far, and Filthy is too hot to stop right now.
Watchability: 4 DiProsperos.  At worst, the winner of this game will have a share of first place in the Rubens Division.

Continue reading ‘Week 13 Preview’

Welcome Back, James!

Three Stars of the Week

Third Star: Greg Infanti, Sky Fighters. With regular captain Dan Hopper in California monitoring the Sky Fighters’ non-European farm team, Infanti was informed five minutes before game time that he would be the team’s captain for the day. With little time to prepare, Infanti rose to the challenge and crafted the perfect game plan: score more goals than the other team. He also contributed one goal of his own.
Second Star: Shafiq “Off Black” Perry, La Famiglia. Perry recorded his second multi-goal game in a row with a hat trick against the Mathematics. He is now tied for the league scoring lead with linemate Denis Miciletto and the Butchers’ Ben Bloom.
First Star: “Gentleman” James Pereira, Filthy Gorgeous. Returning from an injury much earlier than anyone anticipated, Pereira once again donned the beige V-neck and led Filthy to a much needed victory against the Rehabs. His two goals were instrumental in Filthy’s comeback from a 2-0 deficit.

Continue reading ‘Week 8 News and Notes’

This Is Exactly What Monica Wants

Color: Navy Blue/Peach
Year Founded: 2006
2010 Regular Season Finish: 10-5-0-1 (3rd, Rubens Division; 6th overall)
2010 Playoff Result: Lost to Corlears Hookers in quarterfinals
Conference: Weyersberg
Division: Rubens
2010 Leading Scorer: Sunny Mehra, 14 goals
Team Song: Scissor Sisters – Filthy/Gorgeous
Key Additions: Brett Karley
Key Losses: None

Continue reading ‘Season Preview: Filthy Gorgeous’

Who Farted?

GAME OF THE WEEK
Filthy Gorgeous (8-3-0-1) at Corlears Hookers (8-3)
Location: Corlears South, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Corlears Hookers lead 6-0
Game Notes: Filthy Gorgeous has never beaten the Corlears Hookers.  These Rubens Division rivals last met in Week 5 when the Hookers edged Filthy 3-2.  Although the game was tied deep into the second half, Corlears Hookers leading scorer Gavin “Dutch’s Brother” Kearney notched a late game-winning goal to continue his team’s dominance in this series.  Despite this loss, Filthy Gorgeous persevered, going 6-0-0-1 in its next seven games.  However, this streak ended last week, when the Dark Rainbows handed Filthy a 3-2 loss.  The Hookers, on the other hand, enter this game on a modest three-game winning streak in which they have outscored their opponents 14-5.  The team is looking forward to returning to its namesake park to clash with an old rival.
Keys To The Game:
1. With Filthy Gorgeous listed as the road team for this matchup, the team may be forced to wear its alternate jerseys.  However, instead of donning their usual beige V-necks, team members have expressed strong interest in sporting Filthy’s electric lime green throwbacks as part of the league’s farewell to Corlears Hook Park.
2. Corlears Hookers goalie Dustin “Fake Dutch’s Brother” Olson is clearly amped for this game.  He has volunteered this lengthy video featuring his analysis of Filthy’s strengths and possible conflicts of interest.
3. In response to Filthy Gorgeous’ recent addition of a third Pereira brother, John “Scooter” Pereira, the Corlears Hookers have added a third Kearney.  This week, Brendan and Gavin’s eleven-year old brother, Stephen “Dutch’s Fake Other Brother” Kearney will make his debut for the Hookers.
Eli’s Pick: No pick.  Eli will be reffing this game.
Derek’s Pick: Corlears Hookers.  It’s tough to bet against this history.
Watchability: 4.5 Mangans.  Only one point separates these adversaries in the standings.

Continue reading ‘Week 14 Preview’

Monica Didn’t Actually Play

Filthy Gorgeous 5, Sky Fighters 3
Filthy Gorgeous: Joe “Monster Mash” Essock 3 (6), “Gentleman” James Pereira (10), Chris Mangan (1)
Sky Fighters: Greg Infanti (7), Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka (6), Greg Cohan (6)
Game Notes: Filthy Gorgeous scored five unanswered goals after going down to an early 3-0 deficit.

La Famiglia 5, Poutine Machine 3
La Famiglia: Roger Ma (5), Denis Miciletto (5), Dave Ladanyi (1), Mark Wang (1), Jonathan Fidge (1)
Poutine Machine: Kevin MacDonald 2 (4), Jeff Jewett (1)

Mathematics 4, Unicorns 2
Mathematics: Andy Pratt 3 (4), Bradley Schmidt (7)
Unicorns: Joe (5), Mike (1)
Game Notes: As per the terms of a pre-game bet, Unicorns goalie Craig “Ug” LaCombe will have to sport a mustache similar to this next week.

Butchers 6, Cobra Kai 0
Butchers: Ben Bloom 2 (9), “The Charismatic Enigma” Arthur Revechkis 2 (3), Gary Cohen (6), Brian Friedman (1)
Shutout: Eric Ramirez (2)

Dark Rainbows 9, Mega Touch 0
Dark Rainbows: John Nielsen 3 (11), Jesse Gerstein 2 (2), P.T. Walkley (6), Mike Dudolevitch (3), Trevor “White Jesus” Tyrrell (2), Courtney (on loan from Unicorns)
Shutout: John Meyer (1)

LBS, Inc. 7, Tompkins Square Riots 2
LBS, Inc.: “The Alpha Male” Ken Poulin 4 (13), Dan Bernstein 2 (2), Tommy Capatosta (3)
Tompkins Square Riots: Alexandre Frenette 2 (7)

Rehabs 6, Happy Little Elves 5 (OT)
Rehabs: Alex Doucette 2 (11), Meredith “Danberg” Ficarelli 2 (2), Rob Blandi (4), Anita Khar (1)
Happy Little Elves: Trevor Beauclair 3 (14), Gil Valdez 2 (8)
Game Notes: Ficarelli tied the game with 4:30 remaining in regulation.  Blandi scored the game-winner in overtime.  The Happy Little Elves played the entire game shorthanded as Jenna Cruff was the only female in attendance.

Denim Demons 5, Gut Rot 2
Denim Demons: Zack Tinkelman 2 (16), Mike Pereira (11), Brad Weiger (2), David Fraser (1)
Gut Rot: Scott 2 (6)

Corlears Hookers 3, Fresh Kills 1
Corlears Hookers: Brendan “Dutch” Kearney 2 (3), Gavin “Dutch’s Brother” Kearney (12)
Fresh Kills: Mike Sokolyansky (6)

Gouging Anklebiters 10, What The Puck 0 (FORFEIT)