btsh.org

The Elves’ Fan Base Is Growing

Elves Win! Elves Win! (Seriously)
After several weeks of near misses, the Happy Little Elves finally notched their first regular season win since April 13, 2008, a drought that stretched for 378 days.  An early goal by forward Chris O’Neill set the tone immediately, as the Elves cruised to a 3-0 victory over the Unicorns.  Goalie Ronald Bettenhauser turned aside every shot he faced, earning the first shutout in Elves history.

With this victory, the Elves continue their relative mastery against teams that have yellow as a uniform color base.  They are now 2-1 overall against the Tuques and Unicorns, but 0-17-1-1 against all other teams.  As captain Ben Chadwick looks to continue this run of success, he has begun to analyze what went right against the Unicorns.  Ironically, he was shocked to discover that the absence of Ben Chadwick might have been the primary cause of their stellar play.  As Chadwick is known for keeping a trim roster, it is unclear whether he will leave Chadwick in the lineup for this Sunday’s game.

Despite this win, the Elves did not gain possession of the prestigious (yet imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup in 2009.

Continue reading ‘Week 4 News and Notes’

Ellery’s Wild Night

The evening begins like any other for our featured protagonist.

Continue reading ‘Photo(s) of the Week’

Ellery Signed It, So We Know It’s True

Editors Note: Please check the stats and standings page for the league’s leading scorers.

Filthy Gorgeous 3, Rehabs 2 (OT-SO)
Filthy Gorgeous: James Pereira (5), Matt Novick (2)
Rehabs: Alex “Villano VI” Zabala (2), Hector “$howT!m3″ Melendez (2)
Shootout: Filthy Gorgeous wins 1-0.  Successful attempt by James Pereira.

Dark Rainbows 3, What The Puck 0
Dark Rainbows: John Nielsen (9), P.T. Walkley (6), Jennie Brown (2)
Shutout: Trevor “White Jesus” Tyrrell (4)
Game Notes: P.T. Walkley’s band will be playing at Madison Square Garden on June 23 with Coldplay.

Corlears Hookers 4, Unicorns 0
Corlears Hookers: Jason Eitel 2 (6), Peter “Purple Rain” Putka (4), Josh Sadlier-Brown (3)
Shutout: Dustin “Fake Dutch’s Brother” Olson (2)

Sky Fighters 3, Bad Touch 2
Sky Fighters: Dan Hopper (2), Rich McConnell (1), Ted Shumaker (1)
Bad Touch: Alex “Coop” Eben Meyer (2), Joe Lops (1)
Game Notes: Bad Touch goalie Mike Tuckman wanted the game to finish as quickly as possible, because he had tickets to see Iron Maiden.

LBS 3, Filthy Gorgeous 3 (OT-SO)
LBS: Karsten Pichon (5), Ken “The Alpha Male” Poulin (2), SAED (1)
Filthy Gorgeous: Joseph Pereira (5), Jonathan Rick (2), Liza Watts (1)
Shootout: Tied 2-2.  Successful attempts by Tom Capatosta (LBS), Karsten Pichon (LBS), Liza Watts (FG) and James Pereira (FG).
Game Notes: LBS captain Sascha Puritz asserted that had she not injured her ankle in the first half and missed the rest of the game, it would have been a blowout in favor of LBS.

Fresh Kills 5, Mathematics 4 (OT)
Fresh Kills: Patrick Moore 2 (2), Jeff Lesser (2), Kevin “The Planet” Foster (2), Erik Cortes (1)
Mathematics: Bradley Schmidt (2), Sharif “The Chocolate Buzzsaw” Corinaldi (1), Eli Kazin (1), Mark “Sully” Sullivan (1)
Game Notes: Patrick Moore scored the game-winning goal one minute into overtime.

Gouging Anklebiters 4, Happy Little Elves 0
Gouging Anklebiters: Alex Owen 2 (2), Charles DeFranco (3), Eric “El Guapo” DiPierri (1)
Shutout: “Quiet” Mike O’Connor (1)

Mighty Squirrels 3, Mexican Standoff 3 (OT-SO)
Mighty Squirrels: Dave Paglia (2), Eric Breitman (2), Marie Marberg (1)
Mexican Standoff: Tommy Cho (3), Dave Wang (1), Ellery “The Nature Boy” Gillette (1)
Shootout: Tied 0-0

Rehabs 4, Cobra Kai 1
Rehabs: Lateef Nurmohamed (3), Hector “$howT!m3″ Melendez (3), Mike “Cupcake” Bartlett (1), Michael Lewis (1)
Cobra Kai: Ray “Domino” Chan (2)

Denim Demons vs. Tuques (PPD)
Game Notes: Game postponed due to “rain fears.”

Good night, sweet prince.

Aaron ”Coach” Pagdon of Denim Demons submits the following poem regarding his team’s ”loss” of Ellery “The Nature Boy” Gillette: 

An ignominious end to an otherwise glorious career.

The Demons have lost their Claude Lapointe……their Richard Park…..

Mexican Standoff?

I tell you, when I retire, it will be with a contender…..oh, wait…that’s us this year….

Do not go gently into that good night, Ellery.

And if ever we meet again on asphalt….I won’t hesitate to play the body.

Good night, sweet prince.