As a thank you to you, the loyal reader, we the writers thought we’d give you a snapshot of who’s going to btsh.org, and how they are getting there. Here are some interesting facts and figures we have noticed, taken directly from Google Analytics:

1. The most viewed post to this point in the season has been the preview for the games of Week 6. Perhaps visitors were attracted by the main photo of Fresh Kills’ Nick Hobbs donning a pair of Hanson brother-like glasses to promote the Game of the Week between his team and Cobra Kai. However, as intriguing as this matchup and the photo are, we can only assume that traffic for the post would have easily doubled had Fresh Kills’ Justin “The Boss” Ross allowed us to use a similar picture featuring him as well as Hobbs.

2. An occasionally searched term over the past two months was “demon beauty contest.” Our readers are obviously quite savvy, because although the media never reported on it, the Denim Demons did in fact hold a team beauty contest over the Memorial Day weekend. Entrants included Dave Shyu, Lauren C., “Hacksaw” Jim Dandeneau, Danny Polinsky, and Dez Penascino. However, due to his perfect score in the swimsuit competition, David Kenneth Fraser was the clear cut winner and was thus declared the undisputed “Most Beautiful Denim Demon.”

3. BTSH.org accumulated the most pageviews for the season on March 21, the day the team previews for Cobra Kai and the Mathematics were posted. Sources indicate that a bulk of these pageviews came from Sky Fighters captain Dan Hopper, who repeatedly hit the reload button on his browser in disbelief that his former teammate Chris “Big Sexy” Shumaker had joined Cobra Kai. However, this explains only half the story. We can also verify that this picture of Mathematics defender Justin “Ballard” Perras and the intrigue surrounding the Mathematics anonymous general manager created a ton of buzz.

4. One of the most popular keywords over the past two months has been “btsh lady byng.” The Lady Byng was introduced last season as a way to recognize and honor sportsmanship and a high standard of playing ability. Refs were tasked with selecting one Lady Byng winner per game played, although the results are rarely (if ever) published. Well, look no further, because the competition for the 2011 season is already over.  Happy Little Elf Trevor “T-Beau” Beauclair has already exhibited that he is clearly the most gentlemanly, as well as talented, player in all of BTSH. He is a role model, and youngsters should aspire to be just like Trevor.

5. Overall youtube viewership has been down this season, as folks are most likely getting sick of seeing shootout goals. Nevertheless, the most popular videos include shootouts by Ariel Imas of Fresh Kills, Myrto Myloupoulous of the Tompkins Square Riots, and Gil Valdes of the Happy Little Elves. We are hoping that with the upcoming release of another “Tuques hockey.” commercial, the numbers will once again rise to previous levels.

6. Another random search phrase has been “hannah stark britians [sic] x factor.” It should be pointed out immediately that Stark’s teammate, Mike Woodsworth, is also known as The X-Factor. However, because of Stark’s legion of fans the United Kingdom, the media may have to be more specific with its nicknames for What The Puck’s two biggest stars (not counting the Mad Dog himself, of course). Perhaps we should start calling Woodsworth “The Canadian X-Factor” and Stark “The British X-Factor?” Maybe. But then, Woodsworth starts to infringe on “The All-American Canadian” Adam Skuse’s nickname. What a conundrum!

Three Stars of the Week

Seventy-Eighth Star: Shaun deLacy, Happy Little Elves.  The media promised Shaun a star if he photoshopped his own deLacy Watch photo.  Being the publicity whore that he is, he obliged, so the media must now fulfill their promise as well.  As for Shaun’s actual hockey statistics this week, he allowed four goals in the Elves’ winning effort against the Denim Demons.  For what it’s worth, loyal Demons commenter and fan of Game, Joe Tinkelman, was in Tompkins on Sunday and praised deLacy’s efforts in net.
Third Star: Derek Tagliarino, Mathematics. The league’s most popular player and reigning Hardcore Champion completed a perfect weekend on Sunday.  Following wins in both his Mofo and BTSH games, Tagliarino dominated the bar sports circuit on Sunday night.  He led the Mathematics to a convincing win over the Happy Little Elves in skeetball, defeated Rich Glanzer and Adela Ibric twice in billiards (alongside partner Jerome “Hornswoggle” Ramos), and notched another two wins in darts (alongside partner Joe Polowczuk).  Derek is truly a champion…some might even say a hero.
Second Star: Matthew Workman, Filthy Gorgeous.  Worky was one of the driving forces in Filthy’s shootout win against Cobra Kai.  In addition to his regulation goal, Worky converted the lone shootout goal of the game to lead his team to victory.  He also gets a big thumbs up for helping to organize Sunday’s Ref Appreciation Day, perhaps when the refs needed it the most.
First Star: Tom, Gut Rot.  In one of the most exciting BTSH finishes in recent memory, Tom’s game-tying goal forced overtime against the Tompkins Square Riots with two seconds remaining in regulation.  Three minutes later, Tom also scored the overtime game-winning goal to give Gut Rot its second victory of the season.  He also assisted on Gut Rot’s other goal, scored by Mark.

Shaun deLacy GAA Watch

This year, due to a series of stupid bets made by Happy Little Elves goalie Shaun deLacy, the media will track his goals against average over the course of the regular season.

Goals Allowed This Week: 4 (vs. Denim Demons)
Goals Allowed Previously: 35
Goals Allowed This Season: 39
Games Played: 12
Goals Against Average: 3.25
Next Opponent: Sky Fighters (2.62 goals per game)

Last week, Shaun’s goals against average rose a little more, after he surrendered four goals to the Denim Demons.  He has now allowed 39 total goals this season, and with just five games remaining, he has limited time to bring his GAA below 2.50.  This week, Shaun faces the Sky Fighters in a rematch of a 2010 semi-final playoff game that the Elves won 2-1 in a shootout.

Know Your Neighbor

Written by Tuques beat reporter Rich Glanzer

Name: Diane Johnston
Team: Tuques
Suggested Nicknames: Diane-o-mite!, Tuquie Spice
Rejected Nicknames: DiJo, La Johnsty, Di-Di-Anu
Origin: Wareham, Massachusetts
College: Emory University
Quote: “I was kinda hurt by Brian Ferry’s autobiography My Beard is My Only Friend. I mean, I always thought Brian and I were tight.”
First Job: Refrigerator Repairman for Vance Refrigeration
Current Job: Paralegal
Current Accomplishments: Placing first in a teenage talent show for her performance of “Wannabe” by the Spice Girls
Current Failures: Not repeating first place in the talent show
Hero: Jack Bauer, I mean isn’t he everyone’s hero?
Reason to Love Her: She detests the Anklebiters!!
Reason to Hate Her: She makes many men feel less manly, because she has the balls to skydive.
Best Known For: Needing to score at least a 180 in tskeeball in order for us to do this Know Your Neighbor, and scoring exactly 180.
Fast Fact: Before joining BTSH, she was a hostess at an oyster bar in Midtown.
Favorite Things: Sour straws, warm summers, sunshine, short distance walking, chicken wings
Favorite Former Tuque: The Great Frank Russo
Least Favorite Things: Feet
Hockey Comparison: Eddie Johnstone
Non-Hockey Comparison: Phil Donohue. I mean, do we really consider what Phil does as hockey?
Things The Media Will Continue to Overhype About Her: She will certainly be a First Team BTSHer if we ever do a league karaoke contest vs. Zog Sports and NYSSC.
Down the Road: Dave Ladanyi’s brilliant plan of strategically making Diane sit next to him and Andrea Grande-Capone so she can’t mingle with the other teams in BTSH falls apart, when Cobra Kai has the early game and steals the back booth at Ace Bar. Diane heads back to the pool table, tskeeball area and starts hanging out with those light blue creepers known as “Poutine Machine.” Tim Brown, the goalie for Poutine, tells her that chicks dig defense over scoring, so she leaves the Tuques and joins Poutine. Poutine wins several championships, but Diane feels unsatisfied and longs for a shot at winning the prestigious (yet imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup. Because of Sven Larsen’s marketing deal with Puma, Sven refuses to change Poutine’s name, so Diane tucks tail and turns back to Ladanyi. After much negotiation, Dave agrees to change his teams name to La Cinderella Tuques. Derek and Elly deem LCT eligible to participate in the triangular series between the Happy Little Elves, Unicorns and Dark Rainbows. However, after defeating the Rainbows and Unicorns, Dave sees a suspicious cloud in the sky, and forfeits his game against the Elves due to “suspicious cloud fears” and loses his team’s shot at the Cup. The Elves retain the Cup since they also had 4 points after losing to both the Unis and DR in OT. Distraught, Diane retires, a sad end to a fine career.

Denim Demons 4, Filthy Gorgeous 3
Denim Demons: Jeff Kamen 3 (7), Lauren C. (1)
Filthy Gorgeous: Jon Rick 2 (3), Monica Russo (1)
Goalie Win: Aaron “Coach” Pagdon

Butchers 8, Tompkins Square Riots 0
Butchers: “The Charismatic Enigma” Arthur Revechkis 3 (10), Mike Mincieli 2 (2), Ben Bloom (11), Gary Cohen (2), Arnold Sanchez (1)
Shutout: Eric Ramirez (3)

Mathematics 0, Sky Fighters 0 (OT-SO)
Shutout: Joe Boshko (1), Tim Brown (on loan from Poutine Machine)
Shootout: Tied 1-1.  Successful attempts by Ali Corsi (MATH) and Carley Demchuk (SKY).

Gouging Anklebiters 3, Unicorns 1
Gouging Anklebiters: Charles DeFranco (8), Nick Gardella (2), Dave Phillips (1)
Unicorns: Mark (1)
Goalie Win: “Quiet” Mike O’Connor

Corlears Hookers 9, Gut Rot 3
Corlears Hookers: Jason Eitel 4 (6), Tiffany Hagge 2 (4), Noelle “Slapshot” Safar 2 (4), Albert “Al” Huang (1)
Gut Rot: Tom 2 (8), Gilligan1 (4)
Goalie Win: Eric Devlin (on loan from Mega Touch)

Happy Little Elves 4, Rehabs 4 (OT-SO)
Happy Little Elves: Ryan Nakahara (10), Trevor “T-Beau” Beauclair (6), Gil Valdes (6), “The Chairman” Ben Chadwick (1)
Rehabs: Lateef Nurmohamed (6), Michael Nagin (4), Nora Nolan (1), Erica Stoller (1)
Shootout: Tied 0-0.
Game Notes: The Happy Little Elves scored twice in the final three minutes of regulation to force overtime.

La Famiglia 5, Cobra Kai 3
La Famiglia: Denis Miciletto 2 (18), Shafiq “Off-Black” Perry (11), Jon Fidge (5), Alfred Liu (3)
Cobra Kai: Sarab Lalri 2 (8), Mark Talercio (3)
Goalie Win: Jamie Batuwantudawe

Fresh Kills 7, Dark Rainbows 3
Fresh Kills: Patrick Moore 2 (2), Dave Sokolyansky (6), Scott Lee (5), Ariel Imas (4), Eugene Rha (1), Ashley Singer (1)
Dark Rainbows: Trevor “White Jesus” Tyrrell 2 (6), Josh Wilson (4)
Goalie Win: Patrick Barch

Poutine Machine 1, Mega Touch 0
Poutine Machine: Brodie St. John (5)
Shutout: Tim Brown (5)

LBS, Inc. 3, What The Puck 1
LBS, Inc.: Lawrence Goldstein (8), Karsten Pichon (8), Jason Bogdaneris (3)
What The Puck: Mike “The X-Factor” Woodsworth (3)
Goalie Win: Seth Wachtell

GAME OF THE WEEK
Filthy Gorgeous (7-4) at Denim Demons (7-3-0-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: Denim Demons lead 4-2-1
Game Notes: Rubens Division rivals face off for the first time this season with just one point separating them in the standings.  Filthy Gorgeous had a horrendous start to the 2011 season, winning just one of its first five games.  However, sparked by the return of “Gentleman” James Pereira, the team has gone on a tear, reeling off six consecutive victories.  During this streak, the team has scored 25 of its 30 goals on the season, with Pereira and his linemate, Suvin “The Guru” Malik accounting for 17 of them.  Despite being back to back regular season champions, the Denim Demons have very quietly assumed first place in the Rubens Division.  However, it will be tough for them to maintain this standing, as they can look forward to one of the toughest remaining schedules in the league.  All seven games left on their docket are against Weyersberg Conference teams, including four divisional games.  The Demons’ first challenge will be this weekend against a rejuvenated Filthy Gorgeous.
Keys To The Game:
1. After being swept by the Demons in 2010, Filthy Gorgeous will be looking for vengeance and retribution.  To motivate her squad, captain Monica Russo has forced the team to watch the broadcast of the New Orleans Saints’ Super Bowl victory.  She has also promised that, much like Drew Brees, she will lead the team in pre-game barking.
2. 2009′s leader in goals against, Aaron “Coach” Pagdon has been the backbone of the Demons.  He has recorded three shutouts this season, including one in the Demons’ last game.  These shutouts have been even more crucial than in past seasons, as all three came in one-goal games.
3. This will be the first time that Filthy’s “Gentleman” James Pereira and Joe Pereira face off against the Demons’ Mike Pereira since the three won the Best Family award last season.  Family members are already taking sides, as cousins Cletus, Merle, and Billy Ray have always been ardent Filthy Gorgeous supporters, while cousins Winston, Reginald, and Preston have always been Demons boosters.
Eli’s Pick: Filthy Gorgeous.  Make it seven.
Derek’s Pick: Filthy Gorgeous.  The Demons have been doing it with smoke and mirrors so far, and Filthy is too hot to stop right now.
Watchability: 4 DiProsperos.  At worst, the winner of this game will have a share of first place in the Rubens Division.

Butchers (6-4-1) at Tompkins Square Riots (2-9)
Location: Tompkins East, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 1-1
Game Notes: If it feels like these two Donohue Division teams just played each other, it’s because they just did in last week’s Hockey Night in Tompkins regional telecast.  Ben Bloom and “The Charismatic Enigma” Arthur Revechkis each chipped in two goals in the Butchers’ 6-4 win, but the biggest goal of the game was scored by Amanda Jenkins, who broke a 4-4 tie with 4:30 remaining in regulation.
Eli’s Pick: Butchers.  I’ll just assume that since they won last week, they’ll win again this week.
Derek’s Pick: Butchers
Watchability: 3 DiProsperos

Unicorns (6-3-0-2) at Gouging Anklebiters (3-8)
Written by Donohue Division correspondent Monica Russo
Location: Tompkins East, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Unicorns lead 8-4-1
Game Notes: Unicorns lead 8-4-1? I am not necessarily so good at these kinds of things, but does that mean they have played each other 13 times? [Ed: Yes!] Dang. And being that most of these folks have been in the league that entire time, I don’t really think there’s anything I can say about these two teams that they don’t already know. Though both teams have similar numbers of goals for, the Unicorns’ goal differential speaks for itself. However, this annoys me, because checking their goal differentials forced me to check my own team’s goal differential, and, seriously? -2? What the freaking hell? Anyway, GAB is not a team to be scoffed at. If anything, the power of their collective loud-ass voices is enough to distract Craigory and the Unis for at least a goal or two.
Monica’s Pick: I’m reffing this game, you irresponsible jackasses. You couldn’t have picked me another one?

Sky Fighters (7-2-1-1) at Mathematics (4-5-1-1)
Written by MacNeil Division correspondent Sven Larsen
Location: Tompkins West, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Sky Fighters lead 3-0
Game Notes: What’s dorkier? A team named after the good guys’ spaceships from STAR WARS or a team of self described Mathletes? The answer wouldn’t normally be an issue in our hipster-founded league, but this week it could be a game changer. Because this is Harry Potter premiere and Comicon week and the key to the game may be which team loses more players to early flights out to the West Coast for Nerd Prom (or marathon viewings of the whole HP series). Eli “the Calculator” Kazin and his squad may seem like the more obvious choices, but informed sources tell me that the Czech core of the Sky Fighters’ team are also secretly part of one of the country’s foremost Klingon rock bands. Let’s throw Math captain Derek a bone and talk hockey for a second. The Sky Fighters are among the league’s elite and have been struggling to score lately. But last week’s 1-0 triumph over Fresh Kills was definitely a case of an injured team gutting it out. Meanwhile Math all-star Andy Pratt seems to have found the scoring touch he’s been missing all year and the greyshirts’ 3-1 victory over the Rainbows was the upset of the week. With one team rounding in to form and the other team struggling with mid-season injuries and absenteeism, this will be a much closer game than anyone is expecting. If both teams show up (and no one is asking “what would Captain Picard do?”) this should be one of the week’s more hard fought matches.
Sven’s Pick: An extremely tight Sky Fighters win. Math is a team to watch but it’s going to be hard for them to match the emotional intensity of last week’s win.
Watchability: 3 1/2 Horcruxes

Gut Rot (1-10) at Corlears Hookers (7-4)
Written by Rubens Division correspondent Abby “Tayne” Meisterman
Location: Tompkins East, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: First Meeting
Game Notes: Abby is celebrating Bastille Day. Preview coming soon…

Rehabs (3-6-0-2) at Happy Little Elves (5-4-0-2)
Location: Tompkins West, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Rehabs lead 5-2
Game Notes: These Rubens Division opponents have already faced off this season, with the Rehabs emerging victorious in Week 6 by a 7-5 final score.  Three of the Rehabs’ goals were scored by Unicorn Joe Polowczuk, who was inexplicably allowed to play by the Elves’ power structure.  Howevver, Polowczuk’s status for this game is doubtful, even though he is expected to play in his own game earlier in the day.
Eli’s Pick: Rehabs.  Their offense is clicking into gear, and they’ve been sound defensively all season.
Derek’s Pick: Happy Little Elves. If they keep Joe off the court, they should be fine.
Watchability: 3.5 DiProsperos

Dark Rainbows (5-5-0-1) at Fresh Kills (7-3-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 4:30 PM
All-Time Series: Dark Rainbows lead 7-4
Game Notes: What began as an extremely promising season for the Dark Rainbows has quickly turned to mud.  After starting the season 4-0 and earning points in their first six games, the Rainbows have gone on a monumental losing skid with five straight losses.  This week, they will try to right the ship against Hackett Division foe Fresh Kills, whom they defeated 3-2  in the second week of the season on the strength of P.T. Walkley’s two goals.
Eli’s Pick: Fresh Kills.  I’m expecting a full roster this time, not last week’s skeleton squad.
Derek’s Pick: Dark Rainbows.  I’ll chalk their losing streak up to bad luck, because this team still has potential to be one of the league’s elite.
Watchability: 3.5 DiProsperos

Cobra Kai (4-5-1-1) at La Famiglia (7-1-1-2)
Written by La Famiglia beat reporter Rich Glanzer
Location: Tompkins West, 4:30 PM
All-Time Series: Cobra Kai leads 4-2-1
Game Notes: The Tuques will return with a hero’s welcome to Tuques Arena, when they face Cobra Kai this Sunday. After getting booed out of their own place against the Sky Fighters, the Tuques played an inspired game (from what I can tell reading the box score) to beat league-leading What The Puck. All the goals must have been legit, as Anthony Romeo didn’t even put any of the goals he gave up on his Facebook. Cobra Kai is coming off a tough loss to the two-time Presidents’ Cup champs, the Denim Demons.
Rich’s Prediction: While the Tuques may be favored by Jesse the Greek, this isn’t a team they can take lightly. Peter Lang looked very sharp in the net, and his girlfriend blocked six Demons shots (I reffed the game, it’s an approximation). But in the end, the Tuques will keep on their winning ways, and this time send their team home happy. Expect a 5-2 victory for the Tuques, and a plus 2 rating and an assist from Brian Ferry!

HOCKEY NIGHT IN TOMPKINS (National Telecast)
Written by Hockey Night in Tompkins Correspondent Jesse Kalb
What The Puck (8-2-0-1) at LBS, Inc. (7-3-0-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 5:30 PM
All-Time Series: LBS, Inc. leads 8-7
Game Notes: We’re past the halfway point in the BTSH season, and there is a tremendous amount of parity in the league. Eleven of the 20 teams are separated by just 4 points, and the race for a top playoff seed (and the chance to get knocked out by Wichita State or Valparaiso) is on. Big week for the Corporation, which has rebounded from a slow start to pull within 2 of division-leading WTP. Les Grandes Oranges, however, lead the league in goals scored, which is often cited as a causative factor in number of games won.
Vegas Line: What the Puck by 1
Jesse the Greek says: Take the points. LBS. in an upset.
Watchability: 4 carat Kardashian engagement ring

HOCKEY NIGHT IN TOMPKINS (Regional Telecast)
Written by Hockey Night in Tompkins Correspondent Jesse Kalb
Mega Touch (3-7-1) at Poutine Machine (7-2-1-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 5:30 PM
All-Time Series: Poutine Machine leads 3-1
Game Notes: Mega Touch is one of those teams that makes you wonder what the individual players are called. Touchers? Grabbers? How about Photo Hunters? Whatever you call them, the honeymoon is over for their big-time free agent signing, Adriano Bratta. The sometime commissioner has put up good numbers this season, but that hasn’t translated to many wins, and he seems distracted, perhaps by his league administrative responsibilities, or maybe last year’s embarrassing nip-slip at the Johnson’s is weighing on him. Poutine Machine, meanwhile, keeps rolling along, gorging themselves (to the tune of 4-0-1) on division opponents, with the 3rd-best goal differential in the league. Barring a huge collapse, they are a lock for one of the top 4 seeds. No change in that this week.
Vegas Line: Poutine by 2.5
Jesse the Greek says: It’s a lot of points to give, but it’s hard to see the Photo Hunters keeping this one close.
Watchability: 3 Vienna Sausages

Denim Demons 3, Unicorns 1
Denim Demons: Jeff Kamen (4), Dave Fraser (3), Scott Cohen (1)
Unicorns: Rod (1)
Goalie Win: Aaron “Coach” Pagdon

Happy Little Elves 4, LBS, Inc. 1
Happy Little Elves: Ryan Nakahara 2 (6), Rob “Smash” Muggeo (4), Jill Foley (1)
LBS, Inc.: “The Alpha Male” Ken Poulin (3)
Goalie Win: Shaun deLacy

Gut Rot 4, Gouging Anklebiters 3
Gut Rot: Tom 2 (3), Mark (2), Tommy (1)
Gouging Anklebiters: Charles DeFranco (4), Zach “Cryme Tyme” Weiner (2), Zack Papper (1)
Goalie Win: Bill Tucker

Poutine Machine 5, Mega Touch 0
Poutine Machine: Joe Coccimiglio 2 (2), Ashish Nagpal (5), Kevin MacDonald (4), Vincent Tracy (3)
Shutout: Tim Brown (3)

Butchers 6, Cobra Kai 1
Butchers: “The Charismatic Enigma” Arthur Revechkis 2 (4), Ben Bloom (8), Jeff “Hawk” Hawkins (3), Beth Bruder (1), Gary Cohen (1)
Cobra Kai: Rem “Canadian Strongman” Garavito (1)
Goalie Win: Eric Ramirez

Fresh Kills 3, What The Puck 0
Fresh Kills: Justin “The Boss” Ross (5), Dave Sokolyansky (5), Matt Kazior (3)
Shutout: Patrick Barch (1)

La Famiglia 6, Mathematics 3
La Famiglia: Shafiq “Off-Black” Perry 3 (8), Denis Miciletto 2 (8), Andrea Grande-Capone (1)
Mathematics: Adam Langer (2), Liz Hirsch (1), Justin “Ballard” Perras (1)
Goalie Win: Jamie Batuwantudawe

Filthy Gorgeous 3, Rehabs 2
Filthy Gorgeous: “Gentleman” James Pereira 2 (2), Suvin “The Guru” Malik (4)
Rehabs: Lateef Nurmohamed (3), Mike “Cupcake” Bartlett (2)
Goalie Win: Dan “D.O.” Owens

Corlears Hookers 2, Dark Rainbows 1
Corlears Hookers: Jason Eitel (1), Libby Lewis (1)
Dark Rainbows: Luisa Mirarchi (1)
Goalie Win: Dustin “Fake Dutch’s Brother” Olson

Sky Fighters 5, Tompkins Square Riots 0
Sky Fighters: Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka (6), Greg Infanti (2), Tim Conley (1), Carley Demchuk (1), Ruth Grossman (1)
Shutout: James Stein (1)

GAME OF THE WEEK
Denim Demons (3-2-0-1) at Unicorns (4-1-0-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Denim Demons lead 6-5-2
Game Notes: Two of the league’s top goaltenders go head to head in this inter-conference matchup.  After a slow start to the 2011 season, the Denim Demons’ Aaron “Coach” Pagdon has returned to the form that helped him capture last season’s “Best Goaltender” award second best goals against average.  In his last four games, he has allowed just two goals and recorded two shutouts.  During that stretch, however, the offense scored a paltry three goals, resulting in a 2-1-0-1 record.  With Craig “Ug” LaCombe between the pipes, the Unicorns have allowed the fewest goals in BTSH.  LaCombe, who had the top goals against average last season, has given up less than one goal per game and leads the league with three shutouts.  His goaltending, along with strong defensive play from the rest of the team, has boosted the Unicorns into a tie for first place in the Donohue Division.  With bragging rights at stake between good friends Pagdon and LaCombe, goals will be at a premium when these teams collide.
Keys To The Game:
1. After averaging 3.8 goals per game last season, the Denim Demons’ offense has struggled this year, averaging just two goals per game.  Zack Tinkelman and Mike Pereira, who combined for 31 goals in 2010, have scored just once so far.  It is clear that Pereira’s lack of attendance this season has hurt the team.
2. The Unicorns’ offense has revolved around the top line of Joe Polowczuk and Chris, who have collectively scored more than half of the team’s goals.  Polowczuk leads the team with five goals on the season.  In addition, after playing with the Rehabs in a guest role against the Happy Little Elves, he is also tied for their team lead with three goals.
3. Unicorns captains Courtney and Lindsay were recently spotted tape recording a supposedly closed Denim Demons practice in an attempt to procure footage of David Kenneth Fraser’s sprinting prowess.  Furious, Demons captain Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens has filed a formal complaint with league manager Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta and noted, “I’ll go to the papers if I have to.”
Eli’s Pick: Denim Demons.  Pagdon has been a little better than LaCombe in recent weeks.
Derek’s Pick: Denim Demons.  Their deeper bench gives them a boost when they need it most.
Watchability: 4 Joe Tinkys.  With both goaltenders keeping goals off the board, this game should stay close until the end.

Gut Rot (0-6) at Gouging Anklebiters (1-5)
Written by Early Game Correspondent Will Kuhns
Location: Tompkins East, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: Gouging Anklebiters lead 1-0
Game Notes: These two franchises joined forces in March to implement some of the most advanced scouting techniques in BTSH, which pretty much makes this game some form of incest — sweaty gloves and all. Hot. Both teams will go to great lengths to underestimate each other and both know that the column labeled “DIFF” in the standings displays the discount they receive on each check at ACE bar.
Will’s Pick: The ‘Biters. Gut Rot’s offense struggles despite Ellery’s invaluable absence, while Phil inspires his side with a damn good Martin St. Louis impression.
Watchability: 3 Joe Tinkys

LBS, Inc. (4-1-0-1) at Happy Little Elves (2-2-0-2)
Written by Early Game Correspondent Will Kuhns
Location: Tompkins West, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: LBS, Inc. leads 3-0
Game Notes: The Elves’ bout with Champions’ Complacency Syndrome is well documented, but their goals per game matches that of the Corporation. Three LBS games have gone into OT, thus causing multiple stick-manglings, but Tommy Capatosta has been a clutch scorer. This should be another high-scoring, see-saw affair.
Will’s Pick: Delighted Little Elves. A healthy dollop of D.B.A.D. karma pays dividends as Sascha says, “Sure, Accurate Bob and OchoCinco can play with Elves today …”
Watchability: 0.5 Joe Tinkys and 2.5 Sally Winkys

Poutine Machine (3-2-1) at Mega Touch (2-4)
Location: Tompkins East, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Poutine Machine leads 2-1
Game Notes: These MacNeil Division adversaries last met in the opening round of the 2010 playoffs, when a young Tim Brown and Poutine Machine shut out Mega Touch 5-0.  Wily veteran Dave Paglia led the offensive attack with two goals.  This result prompted Mega Touch’s new captain Julie Katz to initiate her offseason “get Adriano at all costs” plan to bolster the team’s anemic offense.
Eli’s Pick: No pick.  Eli will be reffing this game.
Derek’s Pick: Poutine Machine.  Mega’s offense is a lot more potent with Muscles, but Sven’s offseason additions have made the Poutine defense even stingier.
Watchability: 3 Joe Tinkys

Butchers (4-2) at Cobra Kai (3-1-1-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 1-1
Game Notes: After splitting their season series last year, these Donohue Division teams renew their rivalry this Sunday.  Last season, the Butchers defeated Cobra Kai in the inaugural matchup via a 6-0 shutout in Week 12, but the Dojo rebounded with a 4-2 win in Week 17.  This season, both teams currently sit just one point out of first place in the division.
Eli’s Pick: Butchers.  Through six games, goalie Eric Ramirez has allowed more than one goal just once.
Derek’s Pick: Cobra Kai.  Sarab Lalri already has six goals this season and is becoming an early favorite for Rookie of the Year.
Watchability: 4 Joe Tinkys

Fresh Kills (5-1) at What The Puck (5-0-0-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: What The Puck leads 9-7-1
Game Notes: These Hackett Division foes battled to a shootout in Week 1, when Fresh Kills handed What The Puck its lone loss of the season.  Since then, Larry’s Orange Juggernaut has run off five consecutive victories, winning each by an average of more than three goals.  Fresh Kills also enters this contest on a winning streak, having won its last four games, including a shutout against the Corlears Hookers.
Eli’s Pick: What The Puck.  Fresh Kills goalie Patrick Barch might want to stay in Pennsylvania for the weekend.
Derek’s Pick: Fresh Kills.  I’m not sure lightning will strike twice, but this seems to be the only team that has WTP’s number.
Watchability: 4.5 Joe Tinkys

Rehabs (1-5) at Filthy Gorgeous (2-4)
Location: Tompkins East, 4:30 PM
All-Time Series: Filthy Gorgeous leads 4-3
Game Notes: Although both of these Rubens Division teams have struggled this season, the Rehabs and Filthy Gorgeous are each coming off of a divisional win.  The Rehabs, on the strength of Joe Polowczuk’s hat trick, defeated the Happy Little Elves 7-5, while Filthy Gorgeous finally took down the Corlears Hookers 4-1.  When these teams faced off in Week 1, Filthy shut out the Rehabs 2-0.
Eli’s Pick: Filthy Gorgeous.  Monica Russo will not allow Joe to play for the Rehabs.
Derek’s Pick: Filthy Gorgeous
Watchability: 3 Joe Tinkys

La Famiglia (3-0-1-2) at Mathematics (2-3-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 4:30 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 3-3
Game Notes: La Famiglia remained undefeated in regulation with the team’s Week 6 thrashing of Gut Rot.  The team scored nine times in that contest, putting the offense at the top of the Schumacher Conference.  The Mathematics lost their last game 2-1 against the Denim Demons.
Watchability: 3.5 Joe Tinkys.  Half of La Famiglia’s games have gone to overtime, so the odds of a tight game are pretty good.

HOCKEY NIGHT IN TOMPKINS (Regional Telecast)
Written by Hockey Night in Tompkins Correspondent Jesse Kalb
Tompkins Square Riots (2-4) at Sky Fighters (3-2-0-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 5:30 PM
All-Time Series: Sky Fighters lead 1-0
Game Notes: It’s Imaginary Fistfight Week here at H.N.I.T. studios. The Riots and Skyfighters settle the question of who would win a fight between Bob Newhart and Don Knotts. This one will be all spread-collar plaid shirts, turtlenecks, witty asides, and slap-fighting. (All physical contact is metaphorical, of course. BTSH does not condone violence.) Obviously, the Riots are the goofball Knotts, bug-eyed and gangly, always the butt of the joke. The Skyfighters are the sardonic Newhart: quiet dignity in a rumpled sweater, hijinks ensuing all around him. You can follow him on Twitter @BobNewhart.
Vegas Line: ‘Fighters by 2
Jesse the Greek says: Is there really any question here? Go with Bob, and lay the points.
Watchability: 3 laugh tracks

HOCKEY NIGHT IN TOMPKINS (National Telecast)
Written by Hockey Night in Tompkins Correspondent Jesse Kalb
Corlears Hookers (4-2) at Dark Rainbows (5-0-0-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 5:30 PM
All-Time Series: Corlears Hookers lead 4-2
Game Notes: The second Imaginary Fistfight pits Raphael from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Hookers) vs. Penelope Pitstop (Rainbows). The aggressive-to-a-fault Raphael has only one gear: full speed ahead. Look for Penelope to weather an early barrage, then counterpunch their brasher opponent with a smile.
Vegas Line: Pick-em
Jesse the Greek says: Rainbows. The Hookers started out like a house afire, but have perhaps lost focus with 2 straight defeats.
Watchability: 4 bowls of Saturday morning cereal