btsh.org

Sascha Is Thrilled To Renew Acquaintances With The Demons

GAME OF THE WEEK
Denim Demons (12-1) at LBS, Inc. (6-6-0-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: LBS, Inc. leads 9-1-1
Game Notes: Two of the hottest teams in BTSH collide in this Rubens Division battle.  The Denim Demons have won their last 10 games, dating back to their only loss of the season in Week 4.  They have allowed the fewest goals in the league due to the stellar play of all-star goalie Aaron “Coach” Pagdon and a nearly impenetrable defense.  In addition, the team boasts two of the league’s top 10 scorers in Zack Tinkelman (16) and Mike Pereira (12).  LBS, Inc. has also looked impressive in recent weeks.  The Corporation has won three games in a row and is back at .500 for the first time since Opening Day.  The offense has been en fuego over this stretch with 19 goals, bumping the team to a tie for second in scoring.  LBS, Inc. also has two players in the league’s top 10 in Karsten Pichon (14) and “The Alpha Male” Ken Poulin (14).  With the first game between these divisional opponents canceled due to “rain fears,” both teams will be looking to make a statement in their only meeting of the 2010 season.
Keys To The Game:
1. Depending on the outcome of the Sky Fighters/Corlears Hookers game at 1:00, the Demons may have the opportunity to clinch the Rubens Division in this game.  The chance to win a second straight division title and secure the top seed in the playoffs should provide the Demons with plenty of motivation.
2. LBS, Inc. captain Sascha Puritz is clearly well-prepared and excited for the Corporation’s first game of the week of 2010.  She noted, “We have hockey on Sunday?  I thought it was a bye week.”  She continued with several expletives upon learning that her opponent would be the Demons.
3. Although the Denim Demons have torn through BTSH this season, they have historically struggled against LBS, Inc.  They have won just once in 11 meetings with the Corporation, which includes last season’s 3-2 loss in Week 22.
Eli’s Pick: LBS, Inc.  The Corporation’s mastery continues.
Derek’s Pick: Denim Demons.   With the potential to clinch the division title and four players involved in the All-Star Game, this could be a banner day for the Demons.
Watchability: 4.5 Poulins.  Two high-scoring offenses on hot streaks should make for a very exciting contest.

Continue reading ‘Week 15 Preview’

The Demons Have More Fans Than You

As per tradition, the Denim Demons once again hosted their annual “Demons Family Day” this past Sunday.  All players on the team were highly encouraged to invite their families for some good, clean Demons hockey.  Thus, the West Court dugouts were packed with red, as the honored guests  witnessed the Demons defeat the defending champion Sky Fighters 1-0  in a spirited Hockey Night in Tompkins national telecast.  This marked the second consecutive shutout for the Demons on Family Day, who also beat Cobra Kai 2-0 in 2009.

With record attendance and several family members making lengthy treks to reach the game, the event was viewed as a huge success.  Notable attendees included frequent btsh.org commenter Joe “Twinkle Toes” Tinkelman, Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens’ mother, the Carsons, and Abby “Tayne” Meisterman’s moms.  Rubens’ mother even donned a throwback Adam Rubens jersey to support her wonderful son.  She noted, “…the way my son took down the Sky Fighters, he truly is a legend killer!”

Continue reading ‘Week 13 News and Notes’

Anklebiters Caught!

Disciplinary Committee Chair Haanwa Chau has finally completed her thorough investigation into alleged hazing violations against the Gouging Anklebiters. She has put forth the following report:

The following charges are brought:

First, that the Gouging Anklebiters did knowingly violate the rules governing free agent recruitment by serving alcohol to new players during scrimmage weeks and after established drinking hours.

Second, that for the fifth consecutive season, the Anklebieters have achieved a deficient knowledge of league rules and guidelines.

Third, that the Anklebiters routinely provided dangerous performance-enhancing drugs to its players during the playoff weeks.

And most recently, that a Roman toga party was held, from which I have received two dozen reports of individual acts of perversion so profound and disgusting that decorum prohibits listing them here.

These are the charges as recorded this day July 27, 2010.  Faithfully submitted, Haanwa Chau, Disciplinary Chair.

After consulting with former Disciplinary Chair, Jeremy “The Foot” Schumacher, Chau has placed the Anklebiters on “double secret probation”.

Continue reading ‘Week 12 News and Notes’

Everyone Loves The Denim Demons

As a thank you to you, the loyal reader, we the writers thought we’d give you a snapshot of who’s going to btsh.org, and how they are getting there. Here are some interesting facts and figures we have noticed, taken directly from Google Analytics:

1. As expected, the United States and Canada rank as the first and second countries in terms of site traffic, combining for well over 90% of visits. However, it is a little surprising that Switzerland ranks third with 75 visits since June 1. We at the media can only infer that this is due to our unbiased and neutral approach to reporting the BTSH news. Also of note are Israel and South Africa, which each had three visits during this time. Thank you to the Denim Demons’ Jeff Kamen for checking the site while pursuing a Master’s Degree in Israel and Cobra Kai’s Will Kuhns for checking in while working at the World Cup in South Africa.

2. Site traffic peaked on Monday, June 7. Although visitors were most likely looking for the results of the Sega NHL 94 tournament from the previous day, they were instead treated to a picture of Denim Demon David Kenneth Fraser doing a butterfly stretch with the Week 7 box scores. Upon seeing how many people were interested in stretching techniques, Demon captain Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens graciously posted a full lesson on pre-game calisthenics several weeks later. As of now, that post has been viewed 209 times.

Continue reading ‘Week 11 News and Notes’

With the Denim Demons off to another hot start in the 2010 season, all of BTSH is studying their every move in order to glean what has been working so well for them. While captain Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens has steadfastly refused to divulge any of his in-game strategy, he has been gracious enough to provide a handy guide to pre-game calisthenics.

“Any good stretching regimen should take approximately 20-30 minutes.  Although the focus of your routine should be on the legs, young players are reminded to hit all parts of the body.”

Continue reading ‘Calisthenics With Rubens’