it's on asshole.
With BTSH games switched to Saturday this past weekend, league members were given a rare chance to relax and hang out after their games without having to worry about their jobs the next day. As a result, the situation created a perfect opportunity for BTSH to go on a Saturday night pub crawl of the Tompkins Square area. Throughout the evening, the festivities circulated to four official stops with plenty of good times and good drinks along the way.
Although BTSH is now in its second year of playing at Tompkins Square Park, the league returned to Corlears Hook Park this past Sunday for one final afternoon of hockey and good cheer at its old stomping grounds. The festivities, however, did not end on the sloped and cracked playing surfaces near Jackson and Cherry Streets. After the games, all league members were invited to relive old memories with another Johnson’s Olympics.
At Corlears
For some of the more veteran players of BTSH, playing one final game at Corlears was a terrific treat to recapture the nostalgia of the “Golden Age” of the league. Others, however, were shocked and appalled at the conditions of the league’s former home. Regardless of one’s opinion, everyone was happy about the addition of a vertiable smorgasbord of food and drink at courtside. Highlights of this appetizing spread included the Anklebiters’ famous Booze Berries, Jeremy “The Foot” Schumacher’s deep fried mac and cheese, and Peaches’ mixed drinks with unknown ingredients. This, of course, was just the beginning, as “ring girls” reminded league members of the Johnson’s Olympics that evening. As a brief piece of trivia, the final game ever at Corlears Hook Park was the Mathematics’ 4-3 win over the Tompkins Square Riots.
Due to consistent underappreciation and limited access to the league power structure, the goalies of BTSH are in the initial stages of forming a union. As labor conditions continue to deteriorate and goalies have become just an afterthough in league policymaking, this union will finally give the netminders a united front to protect their interests. Cobra Kai’s Peter Lang, who is the founder of the movement, notes, “Goalies get no respect in this league. We’re the ones wearing pounds of equipment in the 90 degree heat, and no one cares.” The Mathematics’ Hector “$howT!m3″ Melendez, who is Lang’s second in command, adds, “This collaboration is necessary as our plight continues to be exacerbated under the tyrannical rule of the BTSH despots.”
GAME OF THE WEEK
Cobra Kai (2-0) at Corlears Hookers (1-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: Corlears Hookers lead 3-1
Game Notes: Cobra Kai is on top of the world, as well as the Donohue Division, as the team is off to the best start in its five season history. In week 1, the Dojo rallied from a halftime deficit against La Famiglia to secure its first opening day victory ever. The momentum carried to week 2, when Cobra Kai notched a solid win over Mega Touch. The Corlears Hookers also won their first game of the season with an impressive triumph over Rubens Division rival LBS, Inc. However, the Hookers stubbed their proverbial toes in week 2 with a stunning loss to the underrated, yet generally uninspiring, Happy Little Elves. After overlooking the Elves, have the Hookers learned their lesson as they take on a much improved Cobra Kai team?
Keys To The Game:
1. For the second straight season, Will Kuhns leads Cobra Kai’s offensive attack. He has scored two goals in each of the team’s first two games and attributes his success to his camouflage t-shirt, which he claims keeps him hidden from the opposing defense’s view.
2. Jason Eitel led the Corlears Hookers with 22 goals in the 2009 season, but has missed the team’s first two games due to a long bout with measles. However, he was granted a clean bill of health earlier this week by team doctor Josh “Doc” Sadlier-Brown and is now listed as probable.
3. Cobra Kai and the Corlears Hookers last met in week 21 of the 2009 season. The Dojo prevailed in a shootout 4-3, even though the afternoon was otherwise marred by ”rain fears”.
Eli’s Pick: Corlears Hookers. They rarely lose two games in a row.
Derek’s Pick: Corlears Hookers. Eitel should have a big game if he does return.
Watchability: 3.5 Biagionis.
Color: Camouflage
Year Founded: 2006
2009 Regular Season Finish: 5-13-1-2 (14th place)
2009 Playoff Result: Lost to LBS, Inc. in first round
Conference: Schumacher
Division: Donohue
Home Arena: The Dojo
2009 Leading Scorer: Will Kuhns, 14 goals
Key Additions: Laura Suchoski, Mark Kleinkecht, Max Maier, Peter Lang,
Shep Halsey, Scott Rice (All Free Agents)
Key Losses: Kevin Au (Tuques), Brian “The Flashlight” Morrison
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