After the West squad’s convincing 4-1 win last season, the East will be looking to even the series in their 2009 contest.  In an effort to revitalize the squad from last year’s defeat, Rich Glanzer and the extremely photogenic Stacy Kehoe replace former East coaches Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens and Monica Russo.  The new tandem is already very optimistic as Glanzer and Kehoe will have some of BTSH’s top players at their disposal.  Forwards Ben, Susannah, and Arthur Revechkis will lead the scoring attack, while Peter “Purple Rain” Putka and Amy Jones anchor the defense.  In addition, Glanzer and Kehoe will coach two of the league’s most feared enforcers in Jeremy “The Foot” Schumacher and Libby Hartle-Tyrrell.  However, the West has also made some enhancements, as the team looks to maintain its dominance.  Co-coaches Steve Chernoski and Georgine “Mulva” Paulin take over for Phil “Sandy” Donohue and Rachel “A-Korn” Greene with high hopes of continuing their legacy.  Chernoski, a defender himself, is thrilled to have several of BTSH’s premier players on his blue line, most notably Sam Anthony, Courtney McBride, and Adam Robertson.  A goon at heart, Paulin is also excited, as she will have several gritty forwards to utilize, including Ariel Imas, Caroline Morrissey-Bickerton, and Will Kuhns.

Sadly, for the second season in a row, Paul “Ashy Larry” Vernon was not selected to participate in this game.  Those who were selected, however, are listed after the jump.

EAST TEAM (white/light)

Coaches:
Rich Glanzer (Happy Little Elves)
Stacy Kehoe (Rehabs)

Goalies:
Craig “Ug” LaCombe (Unicorns)
“Quiet” Mike O’Connor (Gouging Anklebiters)

Roster:
Ben (Mexican Standoff)
Molly Brown (Mega Touch)
Garrett Carrino (Happy Little Elves)
Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka (Sky Fighters)
Chris (Unicorns)
Libby Hartle-Tyrrell (Dark Rainbows)
Amy Jones (Fresh Kills)
Tom MacDonald (What The Puck)
$howT!m3 (Rehabs)
Denis Miciletto (Tuques)
Sheena Otto (Mathematics)
Susannah (Unicorns)
Becky Pear/Rem “Canadian Strongman” Garavito (Cobra Kai)
Mike Pereira (Denim Demons)
Peter “Purple Rain” Putka (Corlears Hookers)
Arthur “Lil Weezy” Revechkis (Mighty Squirrels)
Kirby “Cheek” Ruffner (Mighty Squirrels)
Jeremy “The Foot” Schumacher (Gouging Anklebiters)

WEST (black/dark)

Coaches:
Steve Chernoski (Denim Demons)
Georgine “Mulva” Paulin (Mathematics)

Goalies:
John Meyer (Dark Rainbows)
Dan “D.O.” Owens (Filthy Gorgeous)

Roster:
Greg “Lysol” Altman/Will Kuhns (Cobra Kai)
Sam Anthony (LBS, Inc.)
Alice Bertoni (Sky Fighters)
Gary (Mexican Standoff)
Darrell “Accurate Bob” Hartman (What The Puck)
Ariel Imas (Fresh Kills)
Jeff Kamen (Denim Demons)
Erica Lee (LBS, Inc.)
Bill MacGregor (Mega Touch)
Courtney McBride (Happy Little Elves)
“The Masterpiece” Ashley McMasters (Filthy Gorgeous)
Sunny Mehra (Filthy Gorgeous)
Caroline Morrissey-Bickerton (Gouging Anklebiters)
Mel Raoul (Rehabs)
Adam Robertson (Tuques)
Noelle Safar (Corlears Hookers)
Derek Tagliarino (Mathematics)
Michel Walkley (Dark Rainbows)

This game will once again feature the dapper referee tandem of Patrick Larsen (Mighty Squirrels) and Bryan “Stork” Welch (Rehabs).

Your long weeks of speculation and anticipation are finally over.  Although Paul “Ashy Larry” Vernon of Filthy Gorgeous will not be an all-star this year due to educational commitments, this year’s field of competitors is still extremely talented.  In addition, this year will mark the beginning (hopefully) of a new rivalry, as the players who live on the East bank of the East River will be pitted against those on the West bank.  Without further ado, here are your 2008 BTSH All-Stars (after the jump):

EAST TEAM (black/dark)

Coaches:
Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens (Denim Demons)
Monica Russo (Filthy Gorgeous)

Goalies:
Craig “Ug” LaCombe (Unicorns)
Randy Locklair (Mexican Standoff)

Starters:
Demetri Adrahtas (Happy Little Elves)
Jason Bogdanaris (LBS, Inc.)
Adriano Bratta (Cobra Kai)
Allison (Unicorns)
Gabrielle Carson (Denim Demons)
Jane Cramer (Bad Touch)
Eric Devlin (Bad Touch)
Michelle Doucet (What The Puck)
Nelson (Unicorns)
Lindsay Foerhenbach (Dark Rainbows)
Jeff Goldberg (Fresh Kills)
Dana Kravis (Filthy Gorgeous)
Rob Kucera (Sky Fighters)
Samantha Lee (Sky Fighters)
Alfred Liu (Tuques)
Marie Marberg (Mighty Squirrels)
Alex Owen (Gouging Anklebiters)
Peter “Purple Rain” Putka (Corlears Hookers)

Alternates (will only play if one of the starters cannot):
Chris Beauvois (Corlears Hookers)
Jason Eitel (Corlears Hookers)
Rem “Canadian Strongman” Garavito (Cobra Kai)
Brendan (Unicorns)
Jaclyn Lee (Fresh Kills)
Laura MacNeil (Mathematics)
Rob “Gnarls” Nitschke (Happy Little Elves)
Arthur “Lil Weezy” Revechkis (Mighty Squirrels)
Sean Reynolds (Dark Rainbows)
Michael Ross (Gouging Anklebiters)
Zack Tinkelman (Denim Demons)
Corey “Chongo” Winters (What The Puck)
 

WEST (white/light)

Coaches:
Phil “Sandy” Donohue (Gouging Anklebiters)
Rachel “A-Korn” Greene (Mighty Squirrels)

Goalies:
Tommy Mayoros (Mighty Squirrels)
Anthony Romeo (Rehabs)

Starters:
Tom Capatosta (LBS, Inc.)
Martin Cejka (Sky Fighters)
Beth Conroy (Mexican Standoff)
Caroline Currie (Fresh Kills)
Meredith Danberg-Ficarelli (Rehabs)
Karen Erickson (LBS, Inc.)
Gina Hackett (Rehabs)
Micael Holmstrom (Denim Demons)
Amy Kovner (Gouging Anklebiters)
Gary Kowalski (Mighty Squirrels)
Libby Lewis (Corlears Hookers)
Courtney McBride (Happy Little Elves)
Sarah Moore (Tuques)
Andy Pratt (Mathematics)
Derek Tagliarino (Mathematics)
Matt Workman (Filthy Gorgeous)
Alex “Villano VI” Zabala (Rehabs)
Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer (What The Puck)

Alternates (will only play if one of the starters cannot):
Danny Canarick (Bad Touch)
Bill Monahan (Tuques)
Patrick Moore (Fresh Kills)
John Nielsen (Dark Rainbows)
Dan Owens (Filthy Gorgeous)

This game will also feature the dapper referee tandem of Patrick/Sven Larsen (Mighty Squirrels) and Bryan “Stork” Welch (Rehabs).

GAME OF THE WEEK
Mighty Squirrels (6-0-3) vs. Filthy Gorgeous (7-2-1)
Location: Moffo, 5:00 PM
All-Time Series: Filthy Gorgeous leads 2-1
Game Notes: Both of these teams enter the weekend tied for first place in BTSH, alongside LBS, Inc. and What The Puck.  Although Filthy Gorgeous boasts the second highest goal total in the league with forty, they have relied on several different players to account for their scoring.  Joseph Pereira currently leads the team with just six goals, while Matt Novick, James Pereira, and Paul “Ashy Larry” Vernon have each contributed five.  The Mighty Squirrels’ offense, on the other hand, ranks in the middle of the pack, but their defense is tied for second in goals allowed.  Although captain Rachel “A-Korn” Greene’s “back to fundamentals” approach to hockey is a large factor in their new found defensive prowess, much of the credit can go to new goaltender Tommy Mayoros, who has allowed only nine goals in eight games.  The winners of this game could find themselves in the unexpected position of first place as the break rapidly approaches.
Keys To The Game:
1. Arthur “Lil Weezy” Revechkis now has six of the Mighty Squirrels’ twenty-four goals.  With Revechkis accounting for twenty-five percent of the offense, keeping him in check should be a priority for Filthy.
2. While Filthy Gorgeous goalie Dan Owens’s goals against average is not as sterling as Mayoros’s, he has been just as effective.  He is coming off of his first shutout of the season and has not lost a game since week two.
3. Mighty Squirrels superstar defenseman Gary Kowalski has a hearing scheduled with the city of New York on Sunday at 4 PM to discuss seventy-six unpaid parking tickets.  Although the meeting is downtown, it is unclear if he will be able to make the game.
Eli’s Pick: Filthy Gorgeous.  Monica 1, Sven 0.
Derek’s Pick: Filthy Gorgeous.  Offense beats defense, and the Squirrels suffer their first loss of the season.

Happy Little Elves (1-8-1) vs. Bad Touch (0-9-1)
Location: Corlears North, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: First Meeting
Game Notes: Both of these teams enter this game on six game losing streaks.
Eli’s Pick: Bad Touch
Derek’s Pick: Happy Little Elves

Denim Demons (6-0-1-1) vs. Dark Rainbows (7-3)
Location: Corlears South, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Dark Rainbows lead 7-1
Game Notes: Dark Rainbows goalie Trevor “White Jesus” Tyrrell has been upgraded to questionable for this important game of top teams.  In somewhat Bill Belichick-like fashion, Demons captain Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens has downgraded his entire team to probable.  They don’t call him the “Cerebral Assassin” for nothing.
Eli’s Pick: Dark Rainbows.  Captain Sean Reynolds is too crafty to fall for Rubens’s mind games.
Derek’s Pick: Denim Demons.  Trevor probably has one more week of recovery before he can play, and the Rainbows are a different team without him.

Rehabs (6-1-1-1) vs. LBS, Inc. (7-2-1)
Location: Moffo, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: LBS, Inc. leads 6-4
Game Notes: This matchup was a close runner-up for the Game of the Week, as the Rehabs sit just a point out of first, and LBS, Inc. is in a four-way tie for first.  This battle will also serve as a reunion of sorts for the dissolved Pork Fried Rice, as former members “Con” Ed Lau (Rehabs), Mike “Cupcake” Bartlett (Rehabs), and Brian “Grandmaster B” Barrett (LBS, Inc.) will all play. 
Eli’s Pick: Rehabs.  Captain Bryan “Stork” Welch claims former PFR members Mike Sayre and J.P. Chaput will start coming to games soon as well.
Derek’s Pick: Rehabs.  Welch also claims he may have worked out a deal with former PFR member, Pat Verbeek.

Tuques (3-6) vs. Fresh Kills (4-5-0-1)
Location: Corlears North, 4:00 PM
All-Time Series: Fresh Kills leads 9-1
Game Notes: Although the series history of this matchup is severely lopsided, the Tuques claimed their first victory over Fresh Kills last season in a shootout.
Eli’s Pick: Fresh Kills.  By the way, Kevin “The Planet” Foster is very happy with his new nickname.
Derek’s Pick: Fresh Kills

Mexican Standoff (1-6-2-1) vs. Unicorns (5-5)
Location: Corlears South, 4:00 PM
All-Time Series: Unicorns lead 8-0
Game Notes: Ellery “The Nature Boy” Gillette has now scored two goals in his last three games.  Although Ellery has claimed to lead the league in scoring every year, this is the first time anyone has actually seen him put the ball in the net.  This may turn out to be one of the top offseason acquisitions…at least, until the Redskins begin their season.
Eli’s Pick: Unicorns.  Craig “Ug” LaCombe is not going to let Ellery put one past him.
Derek’s Pick: Unicorns

Cobra Kai (3-6-1) vs. Corlears Hookers (7-1)
Location: Moffo, 4:00 PM
All-Time Series: Corlears Hookers lead 1-0
Game Notes: As the Corlears Hookers prepare for games against the Mighty Squirrels and Denim Demons in the two weeks preceding the break, they cannot overlook a feisty Cobra Kai team.  Although the Dojo enters this game on a three-game losing streak, Ski’s squad does hold a victory over the Sky Fighters and a tie against the Denim Demons.
Eli’s Pick: Corlears Hookers
Derek’s Pick: Corlears Hookers

Gouging Anklebiters (2-8) vs. What The Puck (7-2-0-1)
Location: Corlears North, 5:00 PM
All-Time Series: What The Puck leads 5-4
Game Notes: Captains Phil “Sandy” Donohue and Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer are both easily recognizable by their curly locks.  However, the two have agreed for the this game’s winning captain to shave the losing captain’s head.
Eli’s Pick: What The Puck
Derek’s Pick: What The Puck

Sky Fighters (5-4) vs. Mathematics (3-7)
Location: Moffo, 6:00 PM
All-Time Series: Sky Fighters lead 1-0
Game Notes: The prime time Moffo game will have more than just pride at stake.  The Sky Fighters and Mathematics have bet each other that the losing team will have to cheerlead for one of the winning team’s upcoming games.  In addition, captains Amy Lott and Derek Tagliarino have agreed to allow the winning captain to write a nickname on the back of the losing captain’s game jersey.

Media Records:
Eli: 53-24
Derek: 51-26

Filthy Gorgeous 6, Happy Little Elves 0
Filthy Gorgeous: Matt Novick 3 (5), Joseph Pereira (6), Paul “Ashy Larry” Vernon (5), Suvin “The Guru” Malik (4)
Shutout: Dan Owens (1)

LBS 6, Mexican Standoff 5 (OT-SO)
LBS: Ken “The Alpha Male” Poulin 2 (6), Karsten Pichon (11), Tom Capatosta (4), Jason Bogdaneris (2)
Mexican Standoff: Gary Cohen (3), Ellery “The Nature Boy” Gillette (2), Len Guinto (2), Jefferson Hendricks (2), Hannah Stark (1)
Shootout: LBS wins, 2-0.  Successful attempts by Karsten Pichon and Sam Anthony.
Game Notes: Mexican Standoff rallied from a 4-0 deficit and scored twice in the final five minutes of regulation to force overtime.  Despite showing up to support her team (in Mexican Standoff’s colors), LBS captain Sascha Puritz did not play due to an apparent “ankle injury”.  She looks fine to us.

Gouging Anklebiters 6, Bad Touch 0
Gouging Anklebiters: Eric “El Guapo” DiPierri 4 (5), Phil “Sandy” Donohue (5), Caroline Morrissey-Bickerton (3)
Shutout: Alex Owen (1)

What The Puck 4, Fresh Kills 2
What The Puck: Mike “The X-Factor” Woodsworth 2 (9), Corey “Chongo” Winters (10), Darrell “Accurate Bob” Hartman (4)
Fresh Kills: “Hollywood” Jeff Lesser (5), Patrick Moore (3)

Denim Demons 3, Sky Fighters 2 (OT)
Denim Demons: Micael Holmstrom 2 (7), Jeff Kamen (4)
Sky Fighters: Chris “Big Sexy” Shumaker (2), Imraan Farukhi (1)
Game Notes: Jeff Kamen scored the game-tying goal with thirty seconds remaining in regulation with the goalie pulled.  Happy birthday to Denim Demons’ Abby Meisterman, whose birthday is today (June 30).

Rehabs 1, Mathematics 0
Rehabs: Alex “Villano VI” Zabala (3)
Shutout: Hector “$howT!m3″ Melendez (1)
Game Notes: Alex “Villano VI” Zabala scored the game-winning goal with eight minutes left in the game.

Unicorns 2, Dark Rainbows 1
Unicorns: Mark (5), Caitlin (1)
Dark Rainbows: John Nielsen (10)
Game Notes: Caitlin had the game-winning goal with one minute to go in regulation.  In an odd coincidence, this is the second consecutive year she scored a late winner while Craig “Ug” LaCombe’s parents were in attendance.

Mighty Squirrels 2, Cobra Kai 1
Mighty Squirrels: Eric Breitman (3), Miky Wolf (1)
Cobra Kai: Ray “Domino” Chan (3)

Corlears Hookers 2, Tuques 1
Corlears Hookers: Jason Eitel 2 (8)
Tuques: Bill Monahan (6)
Game Notes: Zack Tinkelman of Denim Demons played goalie for the Tuques.

GAME OF THE WEEK
Filthy Gorgeous (4-2) vs. LBS (5-2)
Location: Corlears North, 5:00 PM
All-Time Series: Filthy Gorgeous leads 2-1
Game Notes: Filthy Gorgeous enters this weekend on a four-game winning streak, with their most impressive victory coming last Sunday.  Despite giving up a game-tying goal to the Denim Demons with just thirty seconds left in regulation, Filthy Gorgeous persevered and prevailed in the shootout on goals from two of their stars: Suvin “The Guru” Malik and James Pereira.  After a two-game losing streak, LBS has responded by winning their last two games, including a hard fought victory against the Mathematics, when they were short a few players in the heat.  Despite playing only a few games together so far, Ken “The Alpha Male” Poulin and Karsten Pichon are still one of the most formidable scoring tandems in BTSH.  While these two teams may not get as much press as some of the flashier teams in the league, they are still just as talented.
Keys to the Game:
1. This will be the second game of the day for Filthy Gorgeous, with the first being a very grueling matchup against the Rehabs.  Will a two-hour break between games be enough to re-energize them?
2. Brian “Grandmaster B” Barrett of LBS had his first multi-goal game of the season last week.  He claims it was because he gave up drinking beer the entire week.  Filthy might want to buy him a cold one before the game.
3. Filthy Gorgeous might have a goalie controversy on their hands as Liza Watts was the winning goalie of the Women’s All-Star Game.
Eli’s Pick: LBS.  I was very impressed with their performance last week.
Derek’s Pick: Filthy Gorgeous.  I expect big things from Filthy’s most prominent player, Paul “Ashy Larry” Vernon.

Rehabs (4-1-1) vs. Filthy Gorgeous (4-2)
Location: Moffo, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Rehabs lead 3-0
Game Notes: This game was originally scheduled to take place during the torrential downpours of May 18, but was postponed for unrelated reasons before gameday.  So it would seem Monica Russo and Bryan “Stork” Welch are two of the smartest captains in the league…or just really lucky.
Eli’s Pick: Rehabs
Derek’s Pick: Rehabs.  Their big win against What The Puck has once again made me a believer.

Denim Demons (5-0-1-1) vs. Tuques (2-5)
Location: Corlears North, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Denim Demons lead 6-0
Game Notes: Since ”Hacksaw” Jim Dandeneau failed his physical with the Mathematics, the potential trade agreed to earlier in the week has collapsed.  Demons captain Adam “Legen(d) Killer” Rubens is despondent and thirsty.
Eli’s Pick: Denim Demons
Derek’s Pick: Denim Demons

Gouging Anklebiters (0-7) vs. Happy Little Elves (1-5-1)
Location: Corlears South, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: First Meeting
Game Notes: Okay, we get it.  The Anklebiters are slow starters.  You guys can turn it around any time now…
Eli’s Pick: Gouging Anklebiters.  I’m just going to assume all of their ice hockey players will show up.
Derek’s Pick: Happy Little Elves

What The Puck (6-1) vs. Dark Rainbows (6-1)
Location: Moffo, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 4-4
Game Notes: The Dark Rainbows have allowed only six goals all season, including shutouts in their last three games.  What The Puck leads the league in team goals with thirty-four.  This battle of the past two BTSH champions should be a classic.
Eli’s Pick: Dark Rainbows.  Trevor “White Jesus” Tyrrell is playing like he did in the 2007 playoffs.
Derek’s Pick: What The Puck.  Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer is coaching like he did in the 2006 playoffs.

Mighty Squirrels (5-0-2) vs. Mexican Standoff (1-5-1)
Location: Corlears North, 4:00 PM
All-Time Series: Mexican Standoff leads 3-2
Game Notes: Both of these teams can be abbreviated with the letters, M and S.
Eli’s Pick: Mighty Squirrels…wait, Tim “(S)crappy” Gray is still out with a back injury, right?
Derek’s Pick: Migthy Squirrels

Rehabs (4-1-1) vs. Cobra Kai (3-3-1)
Location: Corlears South, 4:00 PM
All-Time Series: Rehabs lead 2-1
Game Notes: This matchup features two of the hottest teams in the league, as the Rehabs enter this weekend on a four-game winning streak, and Cobra Kai has won three in a row.  Although this will be the Rehabs’ second game of the day, this contest will be a true litmus test for Cobra Kai.
Eli’s Pick: Rehabs.  Cobra Kai shut them out last year, so they’ll be looking for revenge.
Derek’s Pick: Cobra Kai.  Adriano Bratta is unstoppable right now, and a tired Rehabs defense will struggle to hold him in check.

Corlears Hookers (5-1) vs. Unicorns (3-4)
Location: Moffo, 4:00 PM
All-Time Series: Corlears Hookers lead 1-0
Game Notes: Corlears Hookers captain Peter “Purple Rain” Putka would like to commend the Unicorns for agreeing to play this game, even after the Hookers beat Mexican Standoff via the mercy rule.
Eli’s Pick: Corlears Hookers
Derek’s Pick: Corlears Hookers

Mathematics (2-5) vs. Fresh Kills (2-4-0-1)
Location: Moffo, 5:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 1-1
Game Notes: All the talk leading into this matchup has been coming from Fresh Kills, as Dave Sokolyansky has promised to moon the Mathematics bench if he scores a goal, and Bob “Olmec” Weyersberg has put out a bounty on Eli (good use of league funds, Bob).

Bad Touch (0-6-1) vs. Sky Fighters (3-3)
Location: Moffo, 6:00 PM
All-Time Series: Bad Touch leads 5-2
Game Notes: With four games at Moffo preceding this one, BTSH may see it’s first night game of the season.
Eli’s Pick: Sky Fighters
Derek’s Pick: Sky Fighters

Media Records:
Eli: 36-19
Derek: 36-19