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Come For The All-Stars, Stay Despite Hockey Rich

After the West squad’s convincing 4-1 win last season, the East will be looking to even the series in their 2009 contest.  In an effort to revitalize the squad from last year’s defeat, Rich Glanzer and the extremely photogenic Stacy Kehoe replace former East coaches Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens and Monica Russo.  The new tandem is already very optimistic as Glanzer and Kehoe will have some of BTSH’s top players at their disposal.  Forwards Ben, Susannah, and Arthur Revechkis will lead the scoring attack, while Peter “Purple Rain” Putka and Amy Jones anchor the defense.  In addition, Glanzer and Kehoe will coach two of the league’s most feared enforcers in Jeremy “The Foot” Schumacher and Libby Hartle-Tyrrell.  However, the West has also made some enhancements, as the team looks to maintain its dominance.  Co-coaches Steve Chernoski and Georgine “Mulva” Paulin take over for Phil “Sandy” Donohue and Rachel “A-Korn” Greene with high hopes of continuing their legacy.  Chernoski, a defender himself, is thrilled to have several of BTSH’s premier players on his blue line, most notably Sam Anthony, Courtney McBride, and Adam Robertson.  A goon at heart, Paulin is also excited, as she will have several gritty forwards to utilize, including Ariel Imas, Caroline Morrissey-Bickerton, and Will Kuhns.

Sadly, for the second season in a row, Paul “Ashy Larry” Vernon was not selected to participate in this game.  Those who were selected, however, are listed after the jump.

Continue reading ‘All Star Teams Announced!’

Come For The All-Stars, Stay For Adam Rubens

Your long weeks of speculation and anticipation are finally over.  Although Paul “Ashy Larry” Vernon of Filthy Gorgeous will not be an all-star this year due to educational commitments, this year’s field of competitors is still extremely talented.  In addition, this year will mark the beginning (hopefully) of a new rivalry, as the players who live on the East bank of the East River will be pitted against those on the West bank.  Without further ado, here are your 2008 BTSH All-Stars (after the jump):

Continue reading ‘All Star Teams Announced!’

Can These Two Stay Undefeated?

GAME OF THE WEEK
Mighty Squirrels (6-0-3) vs. Filthy Gorgeous (7-2-1)
Location: Moffo, 5:00 PM
All-Time Series: Filthy Gorgeous leads 2-1
Game Notes: Both of these teams enter the weekend tied for first place in BTSH, alongside LBS, Inc. and What The Puck.  Although Filthy Gorgeous boasts the second highest goal total in the league with forty, they have relied on several different players to account for their scoring.  Joseph Pereira currently leads the team with just six goals, while Matt Novick, James Pereira, and Paul “Ashy Larry” Vernon have each contributed five.  The Mighty Squirrels’ offense, on the other hand, ranks in the middle of the pack, but their defense is tied for second in goals allowed.  Although captain Rachel “A-Korn” Greene’s “back to fundamentals” approach to hockey is a large factor in their new found defensive prowess, much of the credit can go to new goaltender Tommy Mayoros, who has allowed only nine goals in eight games.  The winners of this game could find themselves in the unexpected position of first place as the break rapidly approaches.
Keys To The Game:
1. Arthur “Lil Weezy” Revechkis now has six of the Mighty Squirrels’ twenty-four goals.  With Revechkis accounting for twenty-five percent of the offense, keeping him in check should be a priority for Filthy.
2. While Filthy Gorgeous goalie Dan Owens’s goals against average is not as sterling as Mayoros’s, he has been just as effective.  He is coming off of his first shutout of the season and has not lost a game since week two.
3. Mighty Squirrels superstar defenseman Gary Kowalski has a hearing scheduled with the city of New York on Sunday at 4 PM to discuss seventy-six unpaid parking tickets.  Although the meeting is downtown, it is unclear if he will be able to make the game.
Eli’s Pick: Filthy Gorgeous.  Monica 1, Sven 0.
Derek’s Pick: Filthy Gorgeous.  Offense beats defense, and the Squirrels suffer their first loss of the season.

Continue reading ‘Week 11 Preview’

Filthy Gorgeous Is All Wet Behind The Ears

Filthy Gorgeous 6, Happy Little Elves 0
Filthy Gorgeous: Matt Novick 3 (5), Joseph Pereira (6), Paul “Ashy Larry” Vernon (5), Suvin “The Guru” Malik (4)
Shutout: Dan Owens (1)

LBS 6, Mexican Standoff 5 (OT-SO)
LBS: Ken “The Alpha Male” Poulin 2 (6), Karsten Pichon (11), Tom Capatosta (4), Jason Bogdaneris (2)
Mexican Standoff: Gary Cohen (3), Ellery “The Nature Boy” Gillette (2), Len Guinto (2), Jefferson Hendricks (2), Hannah Stark (1)
Shootout: LBS wins, 2-0.  Successful attempts by Karsten Pichon and Sam Anthony.
Game Notes: Mexican Standoff rallied from a 4-0 deficit and scored twice in the final five minutes of regulation to force overtime.  Despite showing up to support her team (in Mexican Standoff’s colors), LBS captain Sascha Puritz did not play due to an apparent “ankle injury”.  She looks fine to us.

Gouging Anklebiters 6, Bad Touch 0
Gouging Anklebiters: Eric “El Guapo” DiPierri 4 (5), Phil “Sandy” Donohue (5), Caroline Morrissey-Bickerton (3)
Shutout: Alex Owen (1)

What The Puck 4, Fresh Kills 2
What The Puck: Mike “The X-Factor” Woodsworth 2 (9), Corey “Chongo” Winters (10), Darrell “Accurate Bob” Hartman (4)
Fresh Kills: “Hollywood” Jeff Lesser (5), Patrick Moore (3)

Denim Demons 3, Sky Fighters 2 (OT)
Denim Demons: Micael Holmstrom 2 (7), Jeff Kamen (4)
Sky Fighters: Chris “Big Sexy” Shumaker (2), Imraan Farukhi (1)
Game Notes: Jeff Kamen scored the game-tying goal with thirty seconds remaining in regulation with the goalie pulled.  Happy birthday to Denim Demons’ Abby Meisterman, whose birthday is today (June 30).

Rehabs 1, Mathematics 0
Rehabs: Alex “Villano VI” Zabala (3)
Shutout: Hector “$howT!m3″ Melendez (1)
Game Notes: Alex “Villano VI” Zabala scored the game-winning goal with eight minutes left in the game.

Unicorns 2, Dark Rainbows 1
Unicorns: Mark (5), Caitlin (1)
Dark Rainbows: John Nielsen (10)
Game Notes: Caitlin had the game-winning goal with one minute to go in regulation.  In an odd coincidence, this is the second consecutive year she scored a late winner while Craig “Ug” LaCombe’s parents were in attendance.

Mighty Squirrels 2, Cobra Kai 1
Mighty Squirrels: Eric Breitman (3), Miky Wolf (1)
Cobra Kai: Ray “Domino” Chan (3)

Corlears Hookers 2, Tuques 1
Corlears Hookers: Jason Eitel 2 (8)
Tuques: Bill Monahan (6)
Game Notes: Zack Tinkelman of Denim Demons played goalie for the Tuques.

Hey Look, It’s Grand Marshall B!

GAME OF THE WEEK
Filthy Gorgeous (4-2) vs. LBS (5-2)
Location: Corlears North, 5:00 PM
All-Time Series: Filthy Gorgeous leads 2-1
Game Notes: Filthy Gorgeous enters this weekend on a four-game winning streak, with their most impressive victory coming last Sunday.  Despite giving up a game-tying goal to the Denim Demons with just thirty seconds left in regulation, Filthy Gorgeous persevered and prevailed in the shootout on goals from two of their stars: Suvin “The Guru” Malik and James Pereira.  After a two-game losing streak, LBS has responded by winning their last two games, including a hard fought victory against the Mathematics, when they were short a few players in the heat.  Despite playing only a few games together so far, Ken “The Alpha Male” Poulin and Karsten Pichon are still one of the most formidable scoring tandems in BTSH.  While these two teams may not get as much press as some of the flashier teams in the league, they are still just as talented.
Keys to the Game:
1. This will be the second game of the day for Filthy Gorgeous, with the first being a very grueling matchup against the Rehabs.  Will a two-hour break between games be enough to re-energize them?
2. Brian “Grandmaster B” Barrett of LBS had his first multi-goal game of the season last week.  He claims it was because he gave up drinking beer the entire week.  Filthy might want to buy him a cold one before the game.
3. Filthy Gorgeous might have a goalie controversy on their hands as Liza Watts was the winning goalie of the Women’s All-Star Game.
Eli’s Pick: LBS.  I was very impressed with their performance last week.
Derek’s Pick: Filthy Gorgeous.  I expect big things from Filthy’s most prominent player, Paul “Ashy Larry” Vernon.

Continue reading ‘Week 8 Preview’