If You Were On LBS, You’d Be Smiling Too
LBS Goes Corporate
When you’re an elite conglomerate like LBS is, simply being called a “team” is not enough. LBS is far more than a loose a collection of hipsters who get together on Sundays like the rest of BTSH. Instead, their ranks include stock brokers, government officials, and other community leaders who you aspire to be. As such, the board of directors of LBS has declared that–effectively immediately–you must now refer to them as LBS, Inc. Ken “The Alpha Male” Poulin explains, “We’re more than just a team. We’re a brand…a brand that people widely recognize as the gold standard of BTSH. Kind of like Mr. Clean.” As a result of this change in marketing direction, captain Sascha Puritz shall now be known as the CEO, Karsten Pichon shall be the CFO, Molly Jacobs shall be the Vice President of West Coast Operations, and Sam Anthony shall be the Director of Investor Relations. Seth Wachtell has been reassigned to the mail room.
