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Game Previews, Yo (Sept 21.)

La Famiglia at Fresh Kills

With the Hookers clinching the top seed, all the rest of us can do is battle for the best loser.

With the Hookers clinching the top seed, all the rest of us can do is battle for the best loser.

First off, fuck you James Stein for that picture. Our women are going to crush your women in four years, asshole.

Or, we could just crush their women next year...

Or, we could just crush their women next year…

The winner of this matchup will have a clear shot at the 2 or 3 seed. If the Tuques win out, they are the 2 seed. If Fresh Kills wins out, they will finish no worse than 3. What this means is, if you win this game, you probably don’t have to face the Hookers until the finals…which is a really good thing, considering they are an approximate 17-3 in their existence (since 2007) in non-final playoff games.

However they've proven beatable once they get to the Championship Game, going 1-3.

However they’ve proven beatable once they get to the Championship Game, going 1-3.

Rich: The non-Elf in me is rooting hard for Fresh Kills, so we can get a possible Championship Game matchup of the two best franchises in the league. I think it will be a close low scoring game, with FK coming out with a 2-1 win.
Eli: Mike Dudolevitch, prominently pictured above, was not on the Rainbows in 2007. He might have been in high school back then. Fresh Kills, 3-2.
Derek: La Famiglia has struggled against the top division this season (even against WTP, they barely won), and this game will be no different.  4-1 win for FK.
Intern Nick: FK is too much to handle for all but the Hookers on a consistent basis, especially if they show their full lineup.  Blue crew takes it 3-1. 

Rehabs at Mathematics

Math is once again are the Glanzer Division Champs.  Meanwhile the Rehabs are toiling in mediocrity, with a mediocre record, and a mediocre player doing most of their scoring. Lets face it, if Rob B. is one of your best scorers, then the Rehabs Suck.

Math is once again the Glanzer Division Champs.
Meanwhile the Rehabs are toiling in mediocrity, with a mediocre record, and a mediocre player doing most of their scoring. Lets face it, if Rob B. is one of your best scorers, then the Rehabs Suck.

Rich: Math is gearing up for the playoffs, and I think they will be in playoff form, choking away a chance to possibly come in 2nd in the standings. Rehabs take this one 4-3. 
Eli: There may be some sort of Glanzer Division championship celebration on Sunday. Hopefully, Trevor doesn’t destroy our sign this time.
Derek: My team got on my case for not picking us last week (of course, I thought we would win; I just didn’t write it).  Anyway, this week, I’ll go on record that we will win.  Suck it, Intern Nick.
Intern Nick: And on the pedestal, these words appear: “My name is Derk, king of kings: Look on my Glanzer Division championships, ye Mighty, and despair!”  Nothing beside remains.  Round the decay of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare, the Rehabs win 4-2.

Demons at Hookers

Since the Hookers clinched the #1 overall seed, word has it that the Trifecta of Capains for the Hookers, Jackie, Noelle, and Tiffany have benched Jason Eitel, Putka and any other good player.  Meaning you will see a whole lot of Jesse, Al, and Sam. (No offense guys, I can make fun of you since two of you are better than me)

Since the Hookers clinched the #1 overall seed, word has it that the Trifecta of Captains for the Hookers, Jackie, Noelle, and Tiffany have benched Jason Eitel, Putka and any other good player.
Meaning you will see a whole lot of Jesse, Al, and Sam. (No offense guys, I can make fun of you since two of you are better than me)

Rich: I actually do think the Hookers will probably miss this game, so I’m going with the Demons 5-1. 
Eli: Anyone taking bets on whether Richie thinks Jesse or Al is worse than (or equal to) him? Because it’s definitely not Sam. He was an All-Star! Hookers, 3-1.
Derek: I agree with Richie.  This seems like the type of game where Corlears shows up with four players and just kind of coast.  Demons 4-2.
Intern Nick: I think it’s very possible the Hookers rest the top line in this one.  Demons will take the win, 3-1.

Sky Fighters at Happy Little Elves

Did someone forget to tell the Sky Fighters that we play games in April?

Did someone forget to tell the Sky Fighters that we play games in April?

The Elves coughed up the $h0wT!m3 Division lead in a hard-fought loss to La Famiglia last Sunday, but they can still win the division and finish as high as the second seed if the breaks go their way. The Sky Fighters, on the other hand, coughed up any chance of winning the division with an 0-5 start to the season, but as their 7-1-3 record since then shows, they can play the role of spoiler really well. These teams met back in Week 10, when the Elves escaped with a 4-3 overtime victory. We see this one going to overtime, too, but this time the Sky Fighters get the win, 5-4.
Rich: I hope it goes to a shootout. Stein knows why. 
Derek: Martin has actually been making a few appearances lately, so my pick really depends on him.  If he makes, the Sky Fighters win by a goal.  If he doesn’t, Elves by two.  That’s right, I’m saying he makes a difference of three goals.
Intern Nick: The Elves played a talented La Famiglia team and dominated possession and attack time right up until the end of the game.  Timely goals from the Tuques and solid goaltending from Tim Kaylatos prevented the game from getting out of hand in the Elves favor much earlier.  If Elves play the same way this week, they’ll beat SF 5-2.

Gouging Anklebiters at Filthy Gorgeous
The biggest storyline here is James Pereira’s pursuit of the scoring title. He’s currently third in the league with 18 goals, and trails league leader Gabe Chenard by three and rookie Jeff Laniando by one. Catching up might be difficult, though, since Craig is always one of the stingiest goalies in the league. There is a glimmer of hope, though, as James did manage to put one past Craig in the teams’ Week 9 matchup. However, the Anklebiters did win that game, 5-3, and we see them completing the season sweep with a 4-2 victory.
Rich: Who knows with Filthy. They can beat and lose to any team. They will lose this week, 5-3 with Suvin getting all three goals. (Why did my letters just start hanging in mid-air??)
Derek: I should really up date that league leaders page.  Filthy wins 3-2.
Intern Nick: I picked Filthy to win last week and the Demons obliterated them.  Going to go with Anklebiters 4-2.

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