With all the lime tossing and retirements going on around here, it’s easy to forget that some team will be battling for their playoff lives this weekend. But for the few, the proud, the “Crazy Eights”, Sunday begins  the start of the second season. Some will be dreaming of unlikely championship runs. Others will simply be trying not to vomit by the side of the court (I’m looking at you Claire Weingarten).

Like any smart coach, we’re resting our starters this week.

Monica Russo will be focusing on her match against Gut Rot. She’s been working the phones all week and has guaranteed that six (and possibly even seven!) Filthy Gorgeous players will show up. Meanwhile, Rich and Eli are trying to mend a friendship that’s been torn apart by mocking comments about Derek’s compression shorts and accusations of Glanzer offering Adelle a bounty for certain Mathematics’ players heads. So you can see our intrepid reporters will have their hands full during their journalistic bye week.

Meanwhile, we’ve got a few games to comment on.

#20 Tompkins Square Riots at #13 Rehabs
2:30, Tompkins Square West

It was firewagon hockey when these teams met the last time. The Habs managed to post a season high seven goals but the Riots managed to put a few past the black and red defence as well. Expect both teams to play it a lot tighter with the stakes so much higher.

On paper, these teams match up nicely. Rehabs have a player named Alex who’s pretty good. So do the Riots. The Riots have an experienced goalie named Dave. The Rehabs have an experienced goalie named Showtime (although he never seems to play in net). Bryan Welch tends to go a little bit crazy in games. Laura MacNeil goes a little bit crazy in games. It should all balance out right?

Afraid not, TSR. The playoffs are all about experience. And if nothing else, that’s something that the Black Brawlers have going for them. We wouldn’t be surprised if this one goes to OT. At the end of the day, expect the Riots to join the long list of BTSHers who chant “Rehabs suck!”

#17 Filthy Gorgeous at #16 Gut Rot

2:30, Tompkins Square East

The storyline for this game might be that there is no storyline. As far as we know these two teams like each other just fine. Yes, a couple of former Filthys play for Gut Rot now. And yes, Monica may once have politely asked a soon to be ill Peaches to hastily depart the cab they were sharing. But that’s the extent of the bad blood between these franchises. In fact, both teams lost their starting goalie mid-season so there’s been some off-court bonding about their shared dilemma.

So with an amazingly civil game anticipated, who has the edge? Again, it’s not an easy call since these two teams so rarely play each other. But there is a reason Filthy plays in the Bratta division and Gut Rot plays in the Glanzer grouping. Even with the 2013 version of Gut Rot being a vastly improved side we have to give the edge to the Dirty Prettys. 

Besides, everyone knows that Filthy loses to the Hookers in the playoffs. It’s a BTSH tradition.

#19 Cobra Kai at #14 What the Puck

Will this be Romeo’s last game? Not if Zimm and the rest of the WTPers have anything to say about it. We watched a bit of last week’s WTP game and it brought a tear to our eye. All your old favorites were there. Daryl. Woodsie. Michelle Doucette. Heck, for a moment we thought we’d see Bratta pulling on the orange and blue again (in fact, that’s a great idea. Adriano should play half a game for each of his old teams. Don’t worry about Mega Touch, Mussels. They’ll be fine.) It reminded us that the secret to What the Puck’s success has always been team chemistry. With the exception of LBs. you won’t find a team in the league that’s more comfortable playing with each other. It’s why they’ve made so many finals and semi-finals appearances over the years.

And it’s a big challenge for the dojo. Watching a Cobra Kai game these days is like viewing an episode of GENERAL HOSPITAL after not watching since the glory days of Robert Scorpio and Frisco Jones. Sure you may be able to spot a few familiar faces (Will Kuhns and Gregg Allman are the Luke and Laura of BTSH). But for the most part you’ll just be confused. If Cobra Kai’s players can’t overcome their relative unfamiliarity with each other, WTP will continue their tradition of being the only orange and blue New York sports team that plays meaningful games during the first week of October.

#18 Poutine Machine at #15 Mega Touch

4:30 pm, Tompkins Square West

The best news for Poutine Machine may be that Alex Eben Meyer won’t be able to ref this game. Stripes and Poutine sniper Ashish “Shakti” Nagpal have been feuding for two years now, so expect a lot of chirping in this one as well. Poutine may have won the regular season meeting between these two squads but that was against a depleted Mega squad. Expect BTSH power couple Julie and Adriano to join with the aforementioned Meyer, Eric “Mr. Intensity” Devlin and the littlest goalie to form the core of an “Any Given Sunday” squad that no team should take lightly.

Our suggestion? The Machine needs to employ the seldom used “E.T. Strategy”. Leaving a trail of Reese’s Pieces from the court to the Ace Bar should effectively distract Julie long enough for Poutine to score the one goal they’ve been averaging per game and secure a berth in the next round.

Mega Touch, phone home!