Sky Fighters at Mathematics
by Richiepoothang

It’s the playoffs so there will be no dopey preview mentioning how the Rainbows hold each other’s hand singing kumbaya after each goal against. Let’s talk hockey.

Sky at Math.  What a matchup.

The game plan is simple: stop this guy.

It’s depth vs. star in this one. Mike T. had one of the best seasons in BTSH history, scoring more than half of his team’s goals with 24. Meanwhile, Math spreads out their goals a little more evenly. Half of Math’s 52 goals were scored by players currently on their team, like Elly, Justin and Derk. The other half were scored by players no longer on Math, like Cherie, Amber and Joey.

(PS. Cherie is the real female scoring leader, those goals happened and she deserves the title, but that’s none of my business.)

Prediction: Stein always steps up in big games and Mike T. is force that can’t be stopped. But Math’s secondary scoring will prove too much for Sky, as they win 3-2 in overtime. And unlike those rubes who always pick overtime or close games, I rarely do. It’ll be Bradley with the game winner. (-0.5 goals)

Denim Demons at LBS, Inc.
by Isaac

A round of 16 matchup featuring division rivals is always a personal favorite of mine.  Because bad blood undeniably makes for a memorable encounter.   As talented as these two teams are it does seem a bit unfair (and early) for one of them to be sent packing to next Sunday’s scrimmage line.  But that is our current playoff format and the merciless nature of the playoffs.

This season the Demons have been a tale of two teams: one with riches at every position and the other desperately trying to scrap together a squad for Sunday.  At the beginning of the season they got off to a hot start and it appeared that they would be contending for not only the Katz division title, but also the coveted overall top seed.  But oh my how quickly life can change in BTSH.  Their fast paced style of sharp passes, strategic spacing and sound cycling was quickly undone by injuries that eventually eroded all they had worked for.  Despite their bad luck Rubens and J-Po were able to keep the Demons competitive by bringing up talent from their farm team in the Yeshiva League (Seffi!!!).  (Okay, wait.  This is starting to sound more like an end of season eulogy, so let’s move on…)

Ali and her LBS are feeling pretty good about their chances.

Out of these two teams, LBS, Inc. has been the more consistent and balanced one throughout the season.  On their way to earning the top spot in the Mid-Season Power Rankings they swept the season series against the Demons for a combined goals differential of 6-1.  Since then they’ve only become more lethal by adding an offensive force to their top line that keeps all opposing teams up the night before.  But they have also developed cracks in their defense.  Sam and that ‘dude that looks like Jim Morrison’ have been delivering a shaky performance in front of distinguished former commissioner Timmy Baby.  If they don’t seal that up, then it is hello Upset City.

X-factor for Demons: the defensive prowess of JR.  Regardless of which position she’s taking a shift at she can cause turnovers and find an open streaking teammate up the line.

X-factor for LBS: the speed and agility of Scott and Liz.  They are usually the first ones to a loose ball and both know how to apply an ample amount of pressure.

Prediction: The Demons have the juice to pull off an upset, but the difference in this one will be who is in net.  Timmy Baby and LBS, Inc. will move on to the next round 3-1.  (-2.5 goals)

What The Puck at Fuzz
by Hornswoggle V to the R

Introduction

In a key playoff clash between Stoke City and Crystal Palace, it will be clear that the former will take on an attacking role, whereas the latter will be looking to “park the bus” the entire match.

Before I digress any further, my beloved Poo-squad lost to Crys—erm I mean, What the Puck (hereinafter “WTP”)—last Sunday and I am so disappointed in myself for not being there (even though we still would’ve lost anyway… haha). But Brian “Brian Sullivan Alert” Sullivan and a few Poutiners did kill it in trivia post-game, so I guess not all was lost.

Anyway. Never have the Orange Crush faced Fizz before, and if anyone has played at least a season of BTSH playoffs, he/she knows that its games are fraught with uncertainties, even with high-seeded teams. The Glanzer Dome has placed the final touches on its northern stand (read: the side where all the balls skitter under the fence, which has now been barricaded by extra wooden planks), and both teams can finally relish in perfect weather, free-flowing, don’t be a dick ball hockey.

When Eric H isn’t lighting the lamp in a shootout for WTP, he’s moving the ball for Crystal Palace.

The teams

First-seeded Fuzz/Fizz (14-2-1, +38) has galvanized their seat in BTSH history by achieving league greatness in their inaugural season. An impressive two losses during the regular season ties the Butchers, but the team’s ability to light the lamp was second to none (84 goals). A realistic expectation would be that Sunday’s faceoff would be no different than any other game, even if a “win or go home” mindset lingered in the minds of all of the Fuzz personnel.

Fizz all day ‘erry day.

What should Fuzz do to win? The guys and gals in the navy-volt swatches should play business as usual. Their run-and-gun style has enabled all its lines to exploit opponent defenses and create several scoring opportunities. Scoring early leads to scoring often. WTP’s male players take up space and are mobile, so smarter passing and moving without possession can and will further bewilder them. Creating confusion will exhaust WTP’s efficiency and desire to take the match.

It’s a different scenario for 19^th-seed What the Puck (4-11-2, -19), the squad that’s continuing to build momentum and chemistry. Three of their four regular season victories came from teams that seeded between 13 and 20 (Gremlins, Dark Rainbows, Gut Rot), meaning that extra efforts and diligence on and off the court will be necessary to stave off Fuzz’s offensive output. Certainly, a pre-playoff poll demonstrated that very few hoped the mandarin-clad crew would advance, meaning that any burden of expectation is close to nonexistent. That said, WTP can proceed with positive and proactive views coming into the match.

Automatic advancement to the sweet sixteen if a WTP member plays in the orange version of this.

What should WTP do to win? Establishing roles early is crucial to part of the battle. Fuzz’s players are versatile, so figuring out who the pivotal players are, covering them, and sticking to plan will be beneficial. Keeping shape and consistency are the next steps. If a WTP player is out of position, communication is necessary so that a teammate can cover for him/her. Finally, everyone will have to contribute in making smart sequences so that those privy on scoring can put one (or more) past Fuzz’s goalie, whom I think may be the most exploitable in the squad. Moving to empty space, smart passing, short shifts, knowing roles: playing economical will have Fuzz scrambling to search for access points; also, timely chances to score can ensure WTP advancing to the round of 16.

Match result

It’s likely that Fizz can handily take this game. WTP will probably ride the high of last Sunday [of winning a scintillating game over Poutine] until Friday night into Saturday morning, when the alcohol subsides… and the once effervescent thoughts of playing fall Sunday hockey are overshadowed by having to face a Goliath-esque opponent. Winning against Fizz will be a tall order, but if Adidas says that “nothing is impossible”, then nothing will be impossible for What the Puck. However, Fizz seizes the day, much to the chagrin of Ben “The Washkenazi” Chadwick (for seeing a squad of lime greens move onto the next round), 4-1. (-3.5 goals)

Last year the Rehabs got a nice postseason schedule, pulled off a some quality upsets (maybe not upsets?) and got trounced in the championship game by Filthier. Meanwhile the Gremmies pulled off an amazing last second upset over the Demons. But that was last year and this Sunday the two square off in what promises to be a massacre.

The Rehabs brought on some dude named Alex, another long blonde haired guy that looks like Noah Syndaagard and of course Eric Ramirez. If that wasn’t enough they added Joey and Amber mid-season from Math.

What’s better than watermelon and BTSH playoffs? The Red Sox apparently.

The Gremlins lost Hicks, lost a lot of games and were on a downward spiral that saw relegation in their future. But that all changed the moment Zach and Diane got married. I mean one had nothing to do with the other but they haven’t lost since the pair said their I do’s.

Not only did the Gremmies avoid relegation, they won their play-in game.

Prediction: The Gremlins allegedly will have a short bench, which actually is perfect. If they play lock down defense, dump and don’t chase, try not to score, but make sure there are no rebounds, they can pull off a monumental upset.

But they will do none of that and lose 6-0. (-5.5 goals)