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Playoff Round of 16 Previews

Let The Tournament Begin!

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Spoiler: Dude in the blue wins this fight, but eventually gets his leg bone broken by Chong Li.


Editor’s Note: The following was written by everyone’s favorite Denim Demon (which isn’t saying much), Jennifer Popack.  Although we at The ORG helped with her with some of the spreads to ensure accuracy, you can attribute all uses of the first person to her.

Because my football team and I broke up, I needed to fill a void, and the best solution is to become a complete degenerate and gamble on BTSH playoff games…which I’m now going to share with all of you!  You were obviously going to stick around and watch all the games on Sunday anyway, but now you have an even better reason to heckle teams and give a crap.

Here are the rules: we will generate a spread for each of the games throughout the playoffs. You have to make your selections each week in the attached excel grid and email it to me by Saturday afternoon. The person with the highest number of correct picks at the end of the playoffs will be the winner. If there’s a tie, the tiebreak will be your guess of total number of goals scored throughout the playoffs (closest total will win).  It’s just $5 to play, and the size of the pot will depend on how many people decide to join – so spread the word!!  (Venmo, PayPal, and cold hard cash are all acceptable forms of payment – jpopack <at> gmail)

Without further ado, here are this week’s spreads (playoff seed in parentheses):

Denim Demons vs. Gremlins
Denim Demons (9): -2.5
Gremlins (8): +2.5

Filthier vs. Tompkins Square Riots
Filthier (1): -5.5
Tompkins Square Riots (19): +5.5

Sky Fighters vs. Gut Rot
Sky Fighters (5): -2.5
Gut Rot (12): +2.5

Corlears Hookers vs. LBS, Inc.
Corlears Hookers (13): PICK
LBS, Inc. (4): PICK

Rehabs vs. Instant Karma
Rehabs (3): -1.5
Instant Karma (16): +1.5

Mathematics vs. Butchers
Mathematics (6): -1.5
Butchers (11): +1.5

Cobra Kai vs. Gouging Anklebiters
Cobra Kai (10): PICK
Gouging Anklebiters (7): PICK

Fresh Kills vs. Dark Rainbows
Fresh Kills (2): -4.5
Dark Rainbows (18): +4.5

Of course, we’ll also predict things for the other two games, but just like the Fairy Tale Cup really only exists in Rich’s head, so too, these picks are meaningless…

Happy Little Elves vs. What The Puck
Over/Under on the number of female Elves in attendance: 0
Over/Under on the number of people anyone actually recognizes on WTP (not including Corey): 2

Mega Touch vs Poutine Machine
Over/Under on how many pairs of jorts will be present on the court: 4
Over/Under on the number of French expletives shouted by Jo-Ann mid-game: 11

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Will this be you at the end of the playoffs?

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