Emeritus Note: On Sunday, the Happy Little Elves beat Mega Touch for their first victory of the season.  To help celebrate such a momentous event, we decided to remind everyone of the last time the Elves ended a long regular season losing streak. This post was originally published on April 28, 2009.

The Elves’ Fan Base Is Growing

Elves Win! Elves Win! (Seriously)

After several weeks of near misses, the Happy Little Elves finally notched their first regular season win since April 13, 2008, a drought that stretched for 378 days. An early goal by forward Chris O’Neill set the tone immediately, as the Elves cruised to a 3-0 victory over the Unicorns. Goalie Ronald Bettenhauser turned aside every shot he faced, earning the first shutout in Elves history.

With this victory, the Elves continue their relative mastery against teams that have yellow as a uniform color base. They are now 2-1 overall against the Tuques and Unicorns, but 0-17-1-1 against all other teams. As captain Ben Chadwick looks to continue this run of success, he has begun to analyze what went right against the Unicorns. Ironically, he was shocked to discover that the absence of Ben Chadwick might have been the primary cause of their stellar play. As Chadwick is known for keeping a trim roster, it is unclear whether he will leave Chadwick in the lineup for this Sunday’s game.

Despite this win, the Elves did not gain possession of the prestigious (yet imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup in 2009.

ACS Tournament Is This Weekend!!!

“Con” Ed Lau’s annual tournament to benefit the American Cancer Society is just around the corner. With the event taking place this Saturday, there’s no time like the present to register at this very link. Of course, anyone is welcome to bring a check to Moffo without pre-registration, but those who do sign up in advance can arrive later.

Plus, as an added bonus, notorious team cancer Ant “Father Time” Ventolieri will not be participating this year, so there is no chance that you will get stuck on his team!

Know Your Neighbor

Name: Ellery
Team: Mexican Standoff
Nickname: The Nature Boy (AKA Naitch)
Rejected Nicknames: Miguel Sellers, Razor, Nature Man, Apricots
Origin: Washington D.C.
College: Vanderbilt University
Early Aspirations: To be the starting punter for the Washington Redskins
First Job: Unpaid intern for Senator Orrin Hatch (R-Utah).
Hero: Chris Matthews
Reason to Love Him: His absence during Redskins games is refreshing.
Reason to Hate Him: His presence after Redskins games is disturbing.
Fast Fact: Although he has been caught in heavy congestion numerous times on the Capital Beltway, Ellery never hesitates to drive on the shoulder to avoid it.
Favorite Things: Washington Capitals, general belligerence, beer, Italia
Favorite Vacation Spot: Mexico
Least Favorite Things: Dallas Cowboys, rules and order, Rehabs, Bulgarians
Best Known For: Having Meredith “Danberg” Ficarelli’s hand print on his back
Hockey Comparison: Sean Avery
Non-Hockey Comparison: Ric Flair
Things the Media Will Continue to Overhype about Him: He agitates spits beer is loud is an asshole.
Down the Road: After Peaches strikes oil, he decides to retire from all physical activity, clearing the way for Ellery to step in as the captain of Mexican Standoff. Meanwhile, due to a registration glitch, Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens ends up on Mexican Standoff, instead of the Denim Demons. Rather than returning Rubens to the Demons, Ellery decides to name him co-captain, much to Rubens’ (and the rest of Standoff’s) chagrin. Despite Rubens’ fastidious and stringent tendencies and Ellery’s free-wheeling, messy attitude, the two go on to win best duo at the BTSH awards ceremony.