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First Annual BTSH Karaoke Competition

REALLY VERY, VERY GOOD
By Ophelia Baulls

fuck trump
When I heard presidential hopeful, Donald Trump, would be in attendance of this year’s First Annual BTSH Karaoke CompetitionTM at Hifi on June 19th – I immediately worked my press credentials to get in for a quick tête-à-tête.

OB: Mr. Trump, I’m thrilled, and somewhat surprised at your attendance to our upcoming event. What drew you in?

DT: Ophelia, I think this going to be tremendous, just tremendous. BTSH is really a very good organization with some talented folks. I have many, many friends in the BTSH community.

OB: Well, thank you, I suppose you’ve heard that Deejay BubblebathTM will be on the turntables for this event?

DT: You know it’s really a great honor to have LaCombe at this event. He’s a sensational talent, I expect him to do very well. I think we’re all in the same business of trying to make our country better, a better place, so we have something in common.

OB: Our hosts, Diana and Worky are gearing up to entertain folks with some tom foolery I’m sure. What a gas! Have you met with them?

DT: Worky is an excellent host, I’ve found him to be just an excellent performer.

OB: And Diana?

DT: I can’t lie — I’ve been treated badly, very, very badly in the past by the BTSH media. She’s really not very good, and I don’t have time for total political correctness — she’s a bimbo. She’s very angry when she talks about me, there’s blood coming out of her eyes, coming out of her…wherever.

OB: Mr. Trump, do you feel this way about all the BTSH media?

DT: Well, I can tell you that Isaac is a sleaze, just a total sleaze and a liar. He’s very biased against me, I think he’s Mexican. There are certain groups of people who are very biased against me for protecting America. But the fact is we should ban Muslims from this event.

OB: You really think you can keep certain groups of people from getting into the karaoke competition?

DT: The greatest generation beat back the Nazis and Japanese imperialists. And you think we can’t keep out Jamie?

OB: Thank you for sitting down with me Mr. Trump.

DT: This will be a great event. A truly great event.

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