Tim’s Excited About His New Teammate
For the second consecutive season, the BTSH All-Star Game will pit the stars of the Weyersberg Conference against the stars of the Schumacher Conference. With pride and bragging rights on the line, here are the rosters for the two squads:
WEYERSBERG CONFERENCE (white/light)
Coaches:
Trevor “T-Beau” Beauclair (HLE)
Melissa Budnick (HLE)
Goalies:
Patrick Barch (FK)
James Stein (Sky)
Roster:
Vinnie Caruana (Reh)
ShoShauna de Rudanzerwick (HLE)
Trace Della Torre (Sky)
Bob diProspero (DD)
Mike Dudolevitch (DR)
Gina Hackett (Reh)
Lisa Harrington (WTP)
Darrell Hartman* (WTP)
Oliver Hartman* (WTP)
Dan Hopper (Sky)
Scott Lee (FK)
Chris Mangan (FG)
Abby “Tayne” Meisterman (DD)
Luisa Mirarchi (DR)
Steph Opitz (FK)
Susannah Pasquantonio (FG)
Noelle Safar (CH)
Matt Zimmerman (CH)
SCHUMACHER CONFERENCE (black/dark)
Coaches:
Julie Katz (MT)
Shafiq “Off Black” Perry (LF)
Goalies:
Tim Brown (PM)
Craig “Ug” LaCombe (Uni)
Roster:
Ben Bloom (But)
Marcus Bonnée (PM)
Christian (Uni)
Courtney (Uni)
Alex Derhohannesian (GA)
Gilligan (Gut)
Andrea Grande-Capone (LF)
Rachel “A-Korn” Greene (But)
Heather (Gut)
Harvey Jaswal (MT)
Eli Kazin* (Math)
Sarab Lalri* (CK)
Denis Miciletto (LF)
Sarah Moore (GA)
J.J. Murphy* (CK)
Tracy Ng (PM)
Sheena Otto (Math)
Meredith Sladek (CK)
Derek Tagliarino* (Math)
Rabi Whitaker (MT)
*Some teams have selected more than two players for the all-star game. In these cases, two players will split playing time and each play one half.
Dave Adds Another Trophy To His Resume
As a thank you to you, the loyal reader, we the writers thought we’d give you a snapshot of who’s going to btsh.org, and how they are getting there. Here are some interesting facts and figures we have noticed, taken directly from Google Analytics:
1. The most viewed post to this point in the season has been the preview for the games of Week 6. Perhaps visitors were attracted by the main photo of Fresh Kills’ Nick Hobbs donning a pair of Hanson brother-like glasses to promote the Game of the Week between his team and Cobra Kai. However, as intriguing as this matchup and the photo are, we can only assume that traffic for the post would have easily doubled had Fresh Kills’ Justin “The Boss” Ross allowed us to use a similar picture featuring him as well as Hobbs.
2. An occasionally searched term over the past two months was “demon beauty contest.” Our readers are obviously quite savvy, because although the media never reported on it, the Denim Demons did in fact hold a team beauty contest over the Memorial Day weekend. Entrants included Dave Shyu, Lauren C., “Hacksaw” Jim Dandeneau, Danny Polinsky, and Dez Penascino. However, due to his perfect score in the swimsuit competition, David Kenneth Fraser was the clear cut winner and was thus declared the undisputed “Most Beautiful Denim Demon.”
3. BTSH.org accumulated the most pageviews for the season on March 21, the day the team previews for Cobra Kai and the Mathematics were posted. Sources indicate that a bulk of these pageviews came from Sky Fighters captain Dan Hopper, who repeatedly hit the reload button on his browser in disbelief that his former teammate Chris “Big Sexy” Shumaker had joined Cobra Kai. However, this explains only half the story. We can also verify that this picture of Mathematics defender Justin “Ballard” Perras and the intrigue surrounding the Mathematics anonymous general manager created a ton of buzz.
Continue reading ‘Week 14 News and Notes’
Jason Finally Got His Star
Third Star: These members of Poutine Machine, Poutine Machine. These three all contributed to Poutine’s solid defensive effort, which resulted in a shutout of MacNeil Division foe Mega Touch. In addition, we’re always impressed when we see a bar showing like this.
Second Star: Jeff Kamen, Denim Demons. Kamen tallied a hat trick in the Game of the Week against Filthy Gorgeous to push the Denim Demons to a 4-3 victory. With the win, the Demons maintained possession of first place in the Rubens Division.
First Star: Jason Eitel, Corlears Hookers. With only two goals entering this game, Eitel put in an A-Rod-like stat-padding performance with four goals in the Hookers’ 9-3 win against Gut Rot. Of course, in fairness, after accumulating his goal stats, Eitel finally listened to his mother’s advice to pass more, resulting in an assist to Albert “Al” Huang.
Continue reading ‘Week 13 News and Notes’
Italians Dress Funny
Third Star: Denis Miciletto, La Famiglia. Miciletto padded his lead in the scoring race with another two goals. His game-winner with 3:30 remaining in regulation time clinched La Famiglia’s first ever victory against What The Puck.
Second Star: Andy Pratt, Mathematics. One day after his birthday, Pratt scored his first two goals of the season in the Mathematics’ win against the Dark Rainbows. In addition, he also celebrated his son’s second birthday on Sunday with a party in Tompkins.
First Star: Mike Nagin, Rehabs. Nagin tallied a hat trick to lead the Rehabs in their upset of the Corlears Hookers. Like Pratt, Nagin also entered this game with no goals on the season.
Continue reading ‘Week 12 News and Notes’
Way Too Many Elves
After three years of utter failure and disappointment, captain Rich Glanzer achieved his boyhood dream when the Happy Little Elves finally captured their first prestigious (yet imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup last Sunday. The Cup, which is awarded annually to the winner of the triangular series among the Elves, Dark Rainbows, and Unicorns, was presented to Glanzer, co-captain Ben Chadwick, and guest captain Eli “The Calculator” Kazin following the Elves’ 5-3 win over the Rainbows. The team also defeated the Unicorns 4-3 in a shootout two weeks ago to open the 2011 series.
This prestigious (yet imaginary) trophy completes an unprecedented triple crown for the Happy Little Elves, who now possess the Fairy Tale Cup, the Barnacle Bowl, and less importantly, the BTSH championship. Captain Glanzer boasts, “The Elves are the Secretariat of BTSH. No one can catch us. I’ve dreamed about this day for 15 years. I’m especially proud of the Barnacle Bowl!”
Continue reading ‘Week 11 News and Notes’
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