Not The Best Duo
On Sunday evening, the media had the distinct honor and pleasure to present their fifth annual Media Awards to some of BTSH’s outstanding players. The winners are listed below:
BTSH Regular Season Scoring Champion
Denis Miciletto (La Famiglia)
Best Goals Against Average
Dutin “Fake Dutch’s Brother” Olson (Corlears Hookers)
Biggest Face
Corey “Chongo” Winters (What The Puck)
Best Duo
Derek Tagliarino & Eli Kazin (Mathematics)
Most Underrated Female
Jenna Cruff (Happy Little Elves)
Most Underrated Male
Tom (Gut Rot)
The Stacy S. Kehoe Award For Toughness & Grace
Stacy S. Kehoe (Rehabs)
The Jon “Dinner Plate” Feldman Award For Agitation and Instigation
Luisa Mirarchi (Dark Rainbows)
The Fifth Annual Bob Weyersberg Award For Outstanding Achievement In The Field Of Excellence
Patrick “Sven” Larsen (Poutine Machine)
The Brendan “Flounder” Hay Memorial Award (Female)
Courtney (Unicorns)
The Brendan “Flounder” Hay Memorial Award (Male)
Mike Haas (Poutine Machine)
Continue reading ’2011 Media Awards’
Is This BTSH’s Biggest Face?
This Sunday, BTSH will once again hold its annual year-end extravaganza. Festivities will be held at Parkside Lounge following the conclusion of the championship game. This season, in addition to presenting several prestigious awards, the media will proudly host this distinguished event. To build your anticipation, here are this season’s media awards and nominees:
The Award For The Regular Season Scoring Champion
- Denis Miciletto (La Famiglia)
The Award For Best Goals Against Average
- Dustin “Fake Dutch’s Brother” Olson (Corlears Hookers)
Biggest Face
- Trevor “T-Beau” Beauclair (Happy Little Elves)
- Georgine “Mulva” Paulin (Butchers)
- Joe Polowczuk (Unicorns)
- Corey “Chongo” Winters (What The Puck)
Best Duo
- Rich Glanzer (Happy Little Elves) & Matt Workman (Filthy Gorgeous)
- Denis Miciletto & Shafiq “Off Black” Perry (La Famiglia)
- Derek Tagliarino & Eli Kazin (Mathematics)
- Mike Smith & The Anonymous Mathematics General Manager (Mathematics)
Most Underrated Female
- Jenna Cruff (Happy Little Elves)
- Chelsea Hicks (Poutine Machine)
- Libby Lewis (Corlears Hookers)
- Ashley Singer (Fresh Kills)
Most Underrated Male
- Tom (Gut Rot)
- Lawrence Goldstein (LBS, Inc.)
- Kevin MacDonald (Poutine Machine)
- Cory Watkinson (Sky Fighters)
The Stacy S. Kehoe Award For Toughness & Grace
- Tiffany Hagge (Corlears Hookers)
- Katie Hasty (Mega Touch)
- Stacy S. Kehoe (Rehabs)
- Lilly Preston (Mathematics)
The Jon “Dinner Plate” Feldman Award For Agitation and Instigation
- Peter Lang (Cobra Kai)
- Luisa Mirarchi (Dark Rainbows)
- Jeremy “The Foot” Schumacher (Gouging Anklebiters)
- Jesse Scolaro (Corlears Hookers)
The Fifth Annual Bob Weyersberg Award For Outstanding Achievement In The Field Of Excellence
- Dan Hopper (Sky Fighters)
- David Ladanyi (La Famiglia)
- Patrick “Sven” Larsen (Poutine Machine)
- David Sokolyansky (Fresh Kills)
The Brendan “Flounder” Hay Memorial Award (Female)
- Heather (Gut Rot)
- Michelle Bressler (Tompkins Square Riots)
- Courtney (Unicorns)
- Diane Johnston (La Famiglia)
The Brendan “Flounder” Hay Memorial Award (Male)
- Mike Haas (Poutine Machine)
- Nick Hobbs (Fresh Kills)
- Dan “D.O.” Owens (Filthy Gorgeous)
- Danny Polinsky (Denim Demons)
Monica Is Actually Unconscious
The women’s tournament will take place on Saturday, October 1 (rain date 10/8) at Tompkins Square Park, beginning at 10 AM. It costs $20 to play with all proceeds going to GGE – Girls for Gender Equity, a non-profit group that is committed to improving the physical, psychological, social and economic development of girls and women. There is a two-game guarantee with the top two teams playing in a playoff final. During breaks in the action, there will once again be an auction to throw pies in the faces of some of BTSH’s most visible characters. Tournament organizer Dana Kravis submitted the following promotional material regarding the event:
The rivalry is heating up between the captains of this year’s women’s charity street hockey tournament. Although Kami Moore tried to keep the peace, she actually ended up adding fuel to the fire by naming her team “Irene.” Meredith Danberg-Ficarelli, captain of team “Jonathan Taylor Thomas,” noted, “It’s just in really bad taste. My parents’ lawn chair got knocked over by that storm, and I know a girl who lost a potted basil plant from her back deck in Brooklyn… just… gone.” Amy Jones, captain of team “Buffy Summers,” was insulted by Monica Russo’s choice of team name, “Rayanne Graff.” Says Jones, “I was Rayanne Graff, OK? The producers of My So Called Life totally based that character on my high school exploits, and did I ever see a dime of those royalties? No. I told Monica all of this at Ace Bar last week, and then she goes and names her team that. BTSH rule number one, Monica. Rule number one!” Monica Russo claims to have no memory of that conversation at Ace Bar and was not available for comment after being noogied into submission by Danberg-Ficarelli. “That chick is jacked,” she was heard muttering after the noogying.
The one thing all four ladies agreed on was that every girl in the league should immediately register for the women’s tournament here:
http://nycwomensballhockey.myevent.com/
Continue reading ‘Week 18 News and Notes’
Dan Owens Can Still Win The Scoring Race
With just two weeks remaining in the regular season, the race for the 2011 BTSH scoring title is nearing a conclusion. Here are the top contenders for this coveted achievement, which guarantees one pull from the media’s Mystery Box at the end of season awards ceremony:
Denis Miciletto, La Famiglia (21 goals): Miciletto has dominated the league this season, compiling a seven-goal cushion over his closest competitor. He has recorded a goal in 13 of La Famiglia’s 15 games and is currently riding a 10-game scoring streak. However, this streak is in some danger of ending during La Famiglia’s last two games. Miciletto will be shooting against two of the league’s top goaltenders in Eric Ramirez (Butchers) and Tim Brown (Poutine Machine). In addition, with La Famiglia having clinched the Donohue Division title already, captain Dave Ladanyi has hinted that Miciletto may only see a handful of shifts per game in order to rest up for the playoffs. Nevertheless, he remains the overwhelming favorite. Odds of winning: 1-10.
Shafiq “Off Black” Perry, La Famiglia (14 goals): Perry has benefited from being Miciletto’s linemate for the 2011 season, taking full advantage of opposing defenses’ focus on BTSH’s scoring leader. However, he is tired of living in his heavily tattooed teammate’s shadow, and Perry has vowed to claim the scoring title for himself, even if it means utilizing the “Jason Eitel method” of hockey, which involves no passing whatsoever. In fact, there are even rumors that Perry has bribed La Famiglia defender, and self-proclaimed league assist leader, Ant “Father Time” Ventolieri not to pass to Miciletto. Ant took the money, but can you really trust him? Odds of winning: 35-1.
Continue reading ‘Week 17 News and Notes’
The J Is For Jeremy Schumacher
For the second consecutive season, the Weyersberg and Schumacher conferences faced off in the annual BTSH All-Star Game. The Schumacher Conference was out for revenge this year after losing an intense 3-2 matchup last season. To ensure victory, two of the conference’s greatest hockey minds were recruited to coach the Schumacher All-Stars. Unfortunately, Cobra Kai’s Enayet “Retail” Rasul and Poutine Machine’s Jo-Ann Provencher had to back out, and the conference was left with the tandem of La Famiglia’s Shafiq “Off Black” Perry and Mega Touch’s Julie Katz. To make matters worse, the Weyersberg Conference selected the beloved duo of Trevor “T-Beau” Beauclair and Melissa Budnick of the Happy Little Elves as its coaches.
Continue reading ‘Week 15 News and Notes’
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