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This Photo Is Rachel’s Prize From The Mystery Box

On Sunday evening, the media had the distinct honor and pleasure to present their third annual Media Awards to some of BTSH’s outstanding players. The winners are listed below:

BTSH Regular Season Scoring Champion
Karsten Pichon (LBS, Inc.)

Best Goals Against Average
Aaron “Coach” Pagdon (Denim Demons)

Best Family
Lourdes Banez & Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka (Sky Fighters)

Best Duo
Ben Chadwick & Rich Glanzer (Happy Little Elves)

Most Underrated Female
Mel Raoul (Rehabs)

Most Underrated Male
Shafiq Perry (Tuques)

The Stacy S. Kehoe Award For Toughness & Grace
Abby Meisterman (Denim Demons)

The Jon “Dinner Plate” Feldman Award For Agitation and Instigation
Eric “El Guapo” DiPierri (Happy Little Elves)

The Third Annual Bob Weyersberg Award For Outstanding Achievement In The Field Of Excellence
Eric Devlin (Mega Touch)

The Brendan “Flounder” Hay Memorial Award (Female)
Georgine “Mulva” Paulin (Mathematics)

The Brendan “Flounder” Hay Memorial Award (Male)
Will Kuhns (Cobra Kai)

Continue reading ‘2009 Media Awards’

Is This BTSH’s Top Family?

For the third straight season, the media (and some special surprise guests!) will proudly present several prestigious awards this Sunday at the BTSH season-end party. To build your anticipation, here are this season’s media awards and nominees:

The Award For The Regular Season Scoring Champion
Karsten Pichon (LBS, Inc.)

Best Family
Brendan “Dutch” Kearney & Gavin “Dutch’s Brother” Kearney (Corlears Hookers)
Celine Dujeux & Brian Vroom (What The Puck)
Lourdes Banez & Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka (Sky Fighters)
Susannah & Victoria (Unicorns)

Best Duo
Amy Lott & Dan Hopper (Sky Fighters)
Ben Chadwick & Rich Glanzer (Happy Little Elves)
Bob “Olmec” Weyersberg (Fresh Kills) & Jeremy “The Foot” Schumacher (Gouging Anklebiters)
Jeff “Hawk” Hawkins (Mathematics) & Jock Paul (Corlears Hookers)

Most Underrated Female
Alice Bertoni (Sky Fighters)
Karen Erickson (LBS, Inc.)
Becky Pear (Cobra Kai)
Mel Raoul (Rehabs)

Most Underrated Male
Alex Derhohannesian (Gouging Anklebiters)
Bill MacGregor (Mega Touch)
Sunny Mehra (Filthy Gorgeous)
Shafiq Perry (Tuques)

The Stacy S. Kehoe Award For Toughness & Grace
Abby Meisterman (Denim Demons)
Rachel “A-Korn” Greene (Mighy Squirrels)
Gina Hackett (Rehabs)
Heidi “The Maple Leaf Muscle” Karst (Fresh Kills)

The Jon “Dinner Plate” Feldman Award For Agitation and Instigation
Dan “Danny Abs” Abdo (Dark Rainbows)
Eric “El Guapo” DiPierri (Happy Little Elves)
Ellery “The Nature Boy” (Mexican Standoff)
League Degenerate Alex Owen (Gouging Anklebiters)

The Third Annual Bob Weyersberg Award For Outstanding Achievement In The Field Of Excellence
Eric Devlin (Mega Touch)
Kevin “The Planet” Foster (Fresh Kills)
Sascha Puritz (LBS, Inc.)
Monica Russo (Filthy Gorgeous)

The Brendan “Flounder” Hay Memorial Award (Female)
Georgine “Mulva” Paulin (Mathematics)
Kirby Ruffner (Mighty Squirrels)
Noelle Safar (Corlears Hookers)
Sarah “T-Bone” Torneten (Happy Little Elves)

The Brendan “Flounder” Hay Memorial Award (Male)
Steve Chernoski (Denim Demons)
Will Kuhns (Cobra Kai)
John Meyer (Dark Rainbows)
Corey “Chongo” Winters (What The Puck)

With ”rain fears” washing away last week’s attempted food drive, BTSH will try once again this Sunday, October 4.  Everyone is encouraged to bring food to Tompkins, where BTSH representatives will gather it and drop it off at the Bowery Mission. If you would like to help, the league still needs people to help collect everything and drivers to drop off the food (this will likely be done in waves as opposed to waiting until all games are done). Anyone wishing to volunteer, please contact Ed Lau.

The Alpha Male Is Probably Winning The Assists Race

With just two weeks remaining in the regular season, the race for the 2009 BTSH scoring title is nearing a conclusion.  Here are the top contenders for this coveted honor, which guarantees one pull from the Mystery Box at the end of season awards ceremony:

5. Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka, Sky Fighters (18 goals): As the only defenseman in the top five, Martin is a bit of a dark horse in the scoring race.  He will have a good opportunity to catch up this weekend when he faces Mexican Standoff, a team that is second to last in goals allowed.  However, the Sky Fighters end the season against the Unicorns and the solid goaltending of Craig “Ug” LaCombe.  Odds of winning: 50-1.

4. “Gentleman” James Pereira, Filthy Gorgeous (18 goals): James will have to score nine goals just to tie the league leader, but he may have an outside shot given his team’s remaining games.  This Sunday, he faces the Tuques, who have allowed 15 goals in their last three games, and he closes the season against Mega Touch, who have allowed the third most goals in BTSH.  Odds of winning: 40-1.

3. Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta, What The Puck (20 goals): If not for a severe ankle injury in the middle of the season, Adriano would be towards the top of (if not leading) the pack.  Unfortunately, after missing several games, the defending scoring champion still has a lot of ground to cover.  What The Puck finishes the season against the Happy Little Elves and Mathematics, two teams with losing records, so catching up is not an impossibility.  Odds of winning: 25-1.

2. Jason Eitel, Corlears Hookers (21 goals): Despite putting up five goals against Mexican Standoff in week 17, Jason has not found the back of the net in the Hookers’ last three games.  The biggest factor in his favor is that he may have a game in hand on most of his competitors.  The Corlears Hookers are still negotiating with LBS, Inc. to reschedule their game from week 18.  Odds of winning: 15-1.

1. Karsten Pichon, LBS, Inc. (27 goals): The scoring race is clearly Karsten’s to lose.  He has a six-goal cushion on his nearest competitor and, like Eitel, may also have a third game remaining.  If Eitel does manage to close the gap, this elusive makeup game could be very instrumental in deciding the scoring champion.  Odds of winning: 1-3.

Continue reading ‘Week 20 News and Notes’

Hey Kiddies…

For the second season in a row, the media hosted the BTSH East-West All-Star Classic, pitting teams from opposite sides of the East River against each other.  The East, looking to avenge its loss in 2008, jumped to an early 1-0 lead, as the extremely dangerous $howT!m3-Mungo duo struck the first blow of the contest.  The teams then exchanged goals, as the game see-sawed for the remainder of the first half, which ended in a 2-2 tie.  However, the West dominated the second, with Sunny Mehra (Filthy Gorgeous) and Jefferson (Mexican Standoff) scoring quickly to provide a two-goal cushion.  Bill MacGregor (Mega Touch) continued the onslaught with a goal of his own and celebrated by leaping onto the dugout fence behind the goal, where he was warmly received by his Mega Touch teammates.  Derek Tagliarino (Mathematics) added another goal for the West just a few minutes later and attempted to duplicate MacGregor’s celebration.  Unfortunatley, the entire Mega Touch section remained seated, prompting East co-coach Stacy Kehoe (Rehabs) to declare the spectacle “the saddest celebration in BTSH”.  The West ultimately won 8-2.

Once again, the contributions of the coaches buoyed the enjoyment of the afternoon.  West co-coach Steve Chernoski (Denim Demons) donned an electric lime track suit, headband, and sunglasses in an homage to New Jersey culture.  The other West co-coach, Georgine “Mulva” Paulin (Mathematics) came dressed as a “douchebag real estate agent” (her words) to represent her home borough of Manhattan.  In addition, Paulin provided a sack of chocolate gold for her team as an incentive to win.  East co-coach Rich Glanzer did nothing to help his team win.  In fact, he even tried playing a shift in the second half, resulting in yet another goal for the West (and a -1 for Glanzer).

At the conclusion of the game, several players participated in an impromptu shootout (although this had NO bearing on the game’s result).  Some of the highlights included Chris “Big Sexy” Shumaker’s pre-attempt flip and perfect landing, a salute to “Thriller” before Ariel Imas’ shot, and Susannah’s goal off of a multi-teammate screen.  However, upon further review, Susannah’s goal has been disallowed due to the fact that teammate Rob “Mungo” Gorden was in the crease.

Continue reading ‘Week 19 News and Notes’